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I don't understand how someone who has POA could be so out of touch with their elderly person, that another sibling could take them to an attorney and get everything all changed? I mean for my parents ( I am their POA) I am talking with them at least once a day, usually several times, I am very very involved. I know what is on what shelf in their refrigerator. It just grew to be that way, a very strong connection. If any of the siblings or grandkids tried to take them out of thier house and have them sign papers at some strange lawyer office, I don't think they would do it.
Or maybe I am very naive?
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all of you who have posted that it is not possible to change POA after someone has been diagnosed with dementia/Alz is WRONG! My mother changed hers twice and I filed for guardianship and was told that the burden of proof that she was not in her right mind when she signed the last one was on me. Her Dr said with Alz they have good days and bad and my moms lawyer said she was having a good day when she signed the 2nd POA and so did the lawyer who drew up the POA and changed will! The 2 are sticking together and backing each other, I'm sure because they don't want to be held responsible for not checking and making sure she was competent at the time. Getting no where with this, so document, document, document, keep a daily journal!
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What do you all think about the idea of just accepting that your family is dysfunctional, parents have made bad choices and have to live with the consequences, and just going no contact? How much effort is a child supposed to make to save them from themselves?
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Siblings who live far away, and have little contact with their folks, can always use that as an excuse. Doesn't matter whether thr family was dysfunctional or not. It's just easier to only phone, or save your PTO for more desirable locations than your parents or inlaws.
Going no contact, is sort of an excuse. I don't mean to be mean and hurtful. But there are plenty of ways to stay involved, dysfunction makes it an easy way out of fulfilling responsibility.
Even if parents made bad choices, unlese they're in prison for murder, you should sill be involved. Well maybe if they had committed a crime against you or your kids, that might be cause to justify going no contact. But maybe in my faith tradition I have been taught very strongly to honor one's parents, and also we will meet our parents in the hereafter. So I feel a strong duty to stay connected.
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Need a response from the original poster I think... lots of background detail missing so we are all guessing....
No detail as to why your sister was able or would want to swoop in 'out of nowhere' and rehome your mum?

Where was mum before?
Was she unhappy?
How closely were your watching her? (not closely enough if your sister had time to do all this?)
What evidence do you have of her mis-spending mum's money? Or is it an unsubstantiated suspicion? (Need to be very careful there... most of us have experienced jealous or absent siblings making those kind of accusations.... not always based on any fact, usually just paranoia about losing rheir inheritance!!)

Maybe just let your sister bear the responsibility for a while? You now get to just visit your mum without the stress, that's a good thing isn't it?
(You don't mention your relationship with your mum? Had you fallen out? Had she complained about you to your sister? It does happen!)

More to this than meets the eye, and we can't help if we don't know the facts.
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Some people, perhaps like your mom get persuaded to change POA's without the other sibling knowing it....This is what happened to me. I was both my mom and my dad's POA, dad passed and my brother brought mom to a lawyer and got her to sign all these papers and now I am nothing....The lawyer went along with all of it because he wanted his money. Sad situation...but Karma will do his job when he needs to..
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Megan2014, I am sorry you feel "I am nothing." You are still your mother's child. Nothing will ever change that.
I wonder if your brother felt a need to have the POA since he may be much more involved with your mom, or lives close by. In any event, if your mom is able to make her own decisions, there is nothing wrong with her updating her POA, will, etc.
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