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There are many ways to look at this and deal with it. Only you can make the right choice for yourself. Life is short. My advice is don't stay where you (or the situation) is tolerated. Go where you are happy. If he's so perfect, he'll figure it out - or his divorce attorney can explain it to him. Good luck to you. Get that psych clearance for yourself and statements from those he has convinced you are mentally ill - you'll need it in divorce court. If you are kinder than I am and want to stick it out, then insist he be evaluated and if he refuses, then walk. He will only get worse.
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I'm sure you're very invested in the relationship, but what about you? Don't you deserve a life without the narcissist destroying it? I was in your shoes with a husband and escaped it. I can't tell you how happy I was not to have to deal with that stuff any more. I then made the mistake of moving in with my mother to help her (it was supposed to be short term but is now over a year). She's a huge narcissist. What my therapist says is to get away. What all the narcissistic experts say is get away (see youtube for lots of help videos). I don't understand why you don't want a life free of that - or is he the money and/or though him you have a life of comfort?
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How are you doing, Isolated?
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he is going to get worse. get out. he does not have the capabilities to love anyone
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