Do people eventually adjust to being locked up in memory care?
How will I know if they are ready to go on an outing?
My parents have been in memory care for one month and two weeks.
The fibs about the doctor having to release them are not working anymore.
They want to go home to the house where they lived for 55 years.
They both say they would rather die than be locked up in memory care for the rest of their lives. I think I would if it were me.
They call at least 30 times a day.
Some nights they think they are at a hotel where they used to vacation.
When they call me in that state of mind, I tell them I will come and get them in the morning. They don't remember this the next day.
Advice appreciated.
The RAZ memory phone worked for us for several months and I didn't have to worry about him calling the bank, or the cops, or all the other things he threatened. Sometimes we even had lovely good-night calls. But eventually, he too started with the 25-30 calls a day, crying, cajoling, pleading, threatening and so on. Even with sending them to voicemail, it was upsetting. When he finally said he hated the phone and didn't want it, I was relieved, because I was going to have to take it away. Now he still asks me to find him a "good" phone and I have to say I'm still looking. Sad, but we can never go back to that again.
Bottom line is there are products like this available that help with certain situations, but even they aren't perfect. There are also no-dial phones (available on Amazon) but in my opinion, I think they would create more anxiety, looking at a boxy landline phone with no "face" on it. Kind of sounds like a nightmare!
You're getting a lot of advice here, and I hope some is helpful. I'd also add that if you can find a support group for yourself, please check it out. You are not alone, but it's a long and uphill road and it often feels lonely. Best of luck.