My stepmother is living alone at home. We have health care aides coming in regularly because I live 3 hours away. Recently we've had some problems with inconsistency. Yes, they will send a substitute, but often at different hours. Several times this has interfered with Dr's appts. She is adamant about staying at home.
A person doesn’t have an estate until they’re dead.
Then, you figure out a "therapeutic fib" to motivate her to go: "The house has a gas leak and you need to go to temporary housing until it's fixed"; "the house has an infestation / black mold / a dangerous structural problem" anything you think will get her into the car for the ride. The staff at facilities have seen it all and will help you get her in by playing along. It would be best to try to get some of her furnishings there in advance so that there is some familiarity in place.
If the facility you refer to won't do this, then find another facility. They are being unreasonable and unrealistic. I wish you success in this transition!
This makes no sense.
Who's paying for the health care aides that you hire? Her, I hope.
I was a caregiver for 25 years and can't event tell you how many of my clients had to be put into memory care.
I can tell you that not a single one went willingly.
Unless you can get her a live-in caregiver or two (one does the week days the other weekends so everyone gets time off) the only other safe option is facility placement.
Unless she's going to be moved in with family or family is moving in with her.
Of course she's going to be adamant about staying in her own home. Who isn't going to be when there's discussion of going into a "home"?
If one memory care won't accept her, find a different one.
My mind is boggling.. how many people that need memory care, know or remember they have memory problems, know they have lost independance, accept it & willingly leave their own home?
1%?