Hello all. We have transitioned my MIL to hospice care. This was a hard decision for my BIL, who has medical POA, but he was finally able to see that the benefits and services will outweigh trying to coordinate her care through palliative services.
I do think there is some fear and concern as the transition is made from palliative to hospice care. It feels very final, although I know we could step back from hospice any time if we chose to. My personal concern is that one of the things the hospice nurse first recommended was antipsychotic medication for my MIL's anxiety, agitation/sun-downing and hallucinations. We've tried Ativan and it does not work. Alternative medications are very strong and will increase her fall risk.
We don't want my MIL to be in a stupor from medication, or have increased medications hasten her passing. Has anyone ever been had these feelings when transitioning their LO to hospice?
On a personal note, I have already told my adult children that if hospice is called in (usually end of life) and I hallucinate and am always anxious, don’t know who I am or who they are , medication me if it is suggested, keep me comfortable, tell me you love me and tell me it’s ok to pass.. The few people I have watched pass would have been mortified knowing the lengths the family went through to keep them going (mother , sister , son , MIL. ) This is only my personal opinion ...
My husband is now actively dying, and his nurse really wants me to take him to the Hospice home here, where they will knock him completely out, so he won't feel the pain he's in, until he dies. My husband doesn't want that, and so I am honoring his wishes to die at home, and am doing my best to keep him as comfortable as possible with the medications they are allowed for me to have in our home.
Tell your BIL not to be afraid to speak up on behalf of his mom. He will now have to be not only his mouth , but mom's too. Best wishes.
The prescribed amount, to help your mom, does not have to place mom in a stupor. My mom could not take ativan either, it didn't work for her. Meds have different effects on different people. Finding meds that will help mom is often trial and error. Remember, the most important thing is mom's comfort. She does not like the sundowning or the behaviors that come with it either.