HI, I've posted a few times over the past week and everyone has been so understanding and helpful. My Mom is 66 and had early onset and is now in moderate decline. We moved her into memory care a week ago, the first weekend her roomate was very possessive of their room and bathroom and staff witnessed and swifly corrected it by moving her roomate to a private room (used for behavioral issues) my mom so far has been very positive about being there but always says "except for this one woman". My Mom is a very insecure and passive person. Over the last week she's told me stories about this woman bothering her in the community room, flipping her off, nudging it her residents and saying nasty things about her and calling her a B*****. The administration has been very good at keeping me in the loop and saying they are keeping them as separated as they can and intervening when they see it. I know this behavior is common in dementia patients but is this normal for a memory care facility? Today my Mom was pleading to come home because she's sick of this woman and how she's treating her, I feel like there is more to the story because obviously I'm only getting fragmented memories but also staff isn't ALWAYS around, weekends they have a skeleton crew. I guess I'm looking for recommendations for others who have experienced this on what other facilities might have done to mitigate this behavior? I've spoken a lot about my guilt of putting her there and this is not helping. Staff has been really great and transparent but it seems unfair to put her through this and bringing her home creates a different problems.
Putting my Mom in another facility is not an option, this is a state paid bed that we were on the waitlist for --
That is what Memory care is, different levels of Dementia. I go to a local NH to drop off stuff to a guy my daughter went to school with. His Mom is in the same NH. Have known her for years. I walked in one day, said Hi H and she told me I was a B _ _ _ h.
Hopefully the woman would one day forget about Mom. Something else will grab her attn. Tell Mom the woman can't help herself. To just ignore her, that the staff is watching her.
If the woman every hits your Mom, then the MC will have to do something about it. MCs are not equipped to care for someone who is aggressive.
They can't give my mom the private room, they only have a couple and it's for those with behavioral issues.
Your Mom is past that point and now is in a place where she has people she doesn't like and may even fear, and in some cases there can be issues with seniors who are out of control. It is always very difficult to choose to give medications to them, and very difficult to find the right medication cocktail, and difficult once one is found to have it continue to work.
If there are specific issues them you need to take them up one at a time with the facility. Reassure your Mom. Let her talk things out with you. And keep in touch with the managers at the facility. I will tell you that when it comes into the dementia taking her home is no solution to being disturbed, but it will bring much chaos into your own home and your life 24/7. You are very unlikely to find many seniors who will ever say they are happy in memory care and wish to stay there; bringing them home is almost never the answer.
So sorry you are all going through this.