My dad, 76, passed August 14th, mom, 66 years young, had a massive stroke August 31. She was DNR, DNI, no feeding tube, no artificial means. I had the doctors try a feeding tube, I had to. It gave no positive results so I had it removed after a week. I don't know how long we have. To lose them both so close is devastating, but I have emotionally shut down, I haven't even cried over daddy yet. I am struggling with removing the feeding tube even tho it was moms wish. Her pain is so great I cannot even hug her. Her heart and lungs seem strong, but physically she has lost alot of mobility, mentally she is almost completely disconnected, left eye blind, no ability to swallow. I'm lost - if anybody has experience with removing feeding tubes and what happens now as we are in Hospice care, please share. I know once I let my emotions come back I am going to crumble.
I'm so sorry you are going through this! I too lost both my parents pretty close together, though not as close as you are dealing with. I'm am currently doing Hospice care in my home for my FIL, and our Hospice team is fabulous, often changing medication orders over the phone.
I am wishing you peace and comfort for you Mom in the coming days! Take Care!
My father had a catastrophic stroke last September. He was in the hospital for four days and then we brought him home with hospice. He did not want a feeding tube. We honored his wishes. He was in no pain or distress because we gave him the comfort meds from hospice. He lived for twelve days with his entire loving family around him.
You are doing the right thing. It is not easy. Your mother should not be in any pain. Call hospice if you have any questions day or night. Hospice has grief support whenever you are ready.
I know it's horrible to go through this but the feeding tube would just prolong the suffering. You're doing the right thing. My best wishes to you in this difficult time.
I'm so sorry that this journey with your mom is so painful and protracted.
I work in stroke rehab, so I know, knew, the outlook was very grim from the start. When she is at peace I will somehow take time to breathe, for now I have to stay busy, keep my mind busy when I am not with her.
Her pain is still bad, whether it is real or imagined, it is real to her and that makes it real to me.
I think i read it correctly as you tried the feeding tube and it is now removed? If that is your mums wish and you know her quality of life is not going to improve, i would respect that wish. I would also make sure the staff are on top of all your mums pain management. She should not be in so much pain you can't hug her. Get onto the doctor, they need to make sure she is comfortable and as pain free as possible.
If you can take a little time out for yourself through this, it will help you a lot. Even a couple of hours to breath and have a cry. It is a lot to cope with in such a short time and now your mother in such a difficult situation. Just remember to breath. We are here for you.
All the best.