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Thank you all for great ideas and options. My FIL reportedly may pass next 48hrs if not sooner. MIL is there and calm, fully aware of the situation-amazing. Family presence is calming for now. Discussions with siblings this evening. Blessings to all of you, and sincerely appreciate feedback.
As commenters said in your last post, having to deal with a dying DH who's on hospice is NEVER a good thing or an easy thing for a wife who's suffering from dementia! She needs to be taken AWAY from that situation because she cannot cope with it. People with dementia cannot cope with most normal situations, really, never mind overwhelming situations where their husbands are dying! We who do not have dementia often cannot cope well with such scenarios, right? Not sure what you mean by 'short term dementia' either; dementia affects short term MEMORY, but no dementia is 'short term' in that it doesn't last for a little while and then disappear; it's permanent & progressive.
You can place MIL into a Memory Care ALF now where she would get 24/7 care, if she has the funds to self pay. Or, as Grandma said, MIL can move in with a family member, but that leaves the question of who will stay with FIL who cannot be left alone at this end of life stage he's at. The other choice may be to get FIL into a hospice house or a Memory Care ALF himself and leave MIL home with in-home caregivers coming in daily to help her. It all depends on the finances, really.
There is a choice that has to be made. MIL can go to Memory Care where she will be cared for 24/7 (might actually be possible for FIL to be in the same place and Hospice can care for him and MIL will still have him close. ) MIL moves in with a relative but know that dementia will cause a decline and it is not easy caring for someone with dementia. There will be a need for 24/7 care. Hired caregivers the best option. Might even want to check to see if MIL is a candidate for Hospice as well. If so you would have some help and get all the supplies and equipment that is needed to help care for her safely.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You can place MIL into a Memory Care ALF now where she would get 24/7 care, if she has the funds to self pay. Or, as Grandma said, MIL can move in with a family member, but that leaves the question of who will stay with FIL who cannot be left alone at this end of life stage he's at. The other choice may be to get FIL into a hospice house or a Memory Care ALF himself and leave MIL home with in-home caregivers coming in daily to help her. It all depends on the finances, really.
Good luck!
MIL can go to Memory Care where she will be cared for 24/7
(might actually be possible for FIL to be in the same place and Hospice can care for him and MIL will still have him close. )
MIL moves in with a relative but know that dementia will cause a decline and it is not easy caring for someone with dementia. There will be a need for 24/7 care. Hired caregivers the best option.
Might even want to check to see if MIL is a candidate for Hospice as well. If so you would have some help and get all the supplies and equipment that is needed to help care for her safely.