Another neighbor & I care for an elderly neigbor (82)with dementia. He has no family. We do have Meals on Wheels for him but if we don't stay with him & make sure he eats he throws it out to his birds(chickens,peacocks,& domestic geese) .We are in the country & he has 130 acres. The house was horrible but we've gotten that fixed.(He had the chickens & peacocks in the house).He does very strange things at night like taking a floor lamp apart & saying someone must've come in & done it. The other neighbor has been involved longer than me but I was the one to get the birds out,get him heat & updated his electric.(he only had some outlets working.) I did ask how he could've let him live that way & he said he didn't want to step on his toes. We have taken him to look at an assisted living facility but he didn't like it & would probably walk away. He's supposed to use a walker but would rather use a cane and try to hang onto anything to get around! The other neighbor did get Health Care Proxy at my urging but that's it. How do we approach him about getting POA & help in the home. He has the money for private pay. He's a super nice guy,very outgoing,& lots of colorful stories from the past!
Time to call Adult Protection Services. Tell them the care this man needs is now beyond what you and other neighbor are able to give. If they feel he can stay in his home with some help, they will find him services. If they feel he needs guardianship and needs to be placed, they will do it.
There are stories on this forum of the problems even very devoted and enterprising family members have with attempting to help stubborn elders with dementia dug-in in their unsafe environments. Some of the most harrowing have involved seniors in rural areas with fewer services available. I remember vividly one poster, “Windyridge” if I recall correctly, and his long-running travails with his demented parents in an old, falling apart farmhouse on acreage out in the boonies. As I recall he finally got them both into care after a series of close calls, injuries, and a dramatic intervention by a cousin who happened to randomly drop in at the right time in the midst of the chaos.
I don’t think you want to sign up for what might be in store in this situation down the road!
You and your neighbor have been friendly and helpful on day-to-day matters, and that’s great. But that does not mean that you are able to pick up much more responsibility, or that it would be in anyone’s interest for you to try. It would be dangerous on many levels to attempt it. Call APS or any other relevant government agency, and let professionals with legal powers sort out this problem for and with your elderly neighbor.
He's not an invalid so if he had live-in help that might be the answer for his needs.
The facility will assess him as to what level of care he needs, and they most certainly will recommend memory care. You don't have to worry about his walking away once he's in there. It will be a locked unit where he'll have lots of fellow residents to share his stories. The cost will be less than keeping him in his home.
Help in the home for this guy will require 24/7 care and at least 3 people to provide it. Live-in aides cannot be on duty 24 hours a day. They need to sleep sometimes. You might find two live-ins, 12 hours a day, but unlikely to want to work 7 days. So that's when you hire the third caregiver for weekends, but maybe you'll need four because the third will need to sleep sometimes too. And who manages all this? And the withholding tax and 1099s, and the times when as CG is sick and can't come to work?
If things go on as they are, you'll soon show up and find elderly neighbor dead on the floor. This is what happens when they are allowed to make decisions about their lives when they have dementia. He is no longer capable or competent. At all.
Good luck with all of this! But surely he has some family who could take charge - and you could give them a heads-up about how he's living. They may not have a clue. (And they may not care! But at least they'd know what's going on and you will have fulfilled your duty of trying to get help for him.)