So here we go... My father who had a broken hip in May continues to fall three times a week. He was sent to the ER with 900+ blood sugar level, and then released to a transition center to continue to rehab his hip. He has since then refused ALL care and become impulsive. He has called my mother every day saying "if you don't get me out of here, I am filing for divorce." He is not well mentally, yet the only option is for him to come back home with insufficient care. He is unstable and verbally abusive to "EVERYONE" ... I work for an organization that deals with Caregiving and Elderly advocacy, but I am not sure if I can help in this situation. Obviously he can't be left alone at all, but if he does decide to divorce my mother, things will only be worse, and I am not sure he understands this or not. This situation is immensely exhaustive... He is set to be discharged in a few days due to refusal. We can pay some of the respite care that can come in and aid him, but I am worried about the times it is just my mother and I with him.
when my Dad started that nonsense, Mom moved all the money out of the joint account (cause who knew what he would do) and told him...yeah..go ahead.
as for the bigger issue...Barb is exactly right...do not let them discharge him to home. No matter what line they try to hand out, They will NOT be there to help, they will NOT find services for him. The patient services are trained to say whatever it takes to get him placed back at home.....do not let them. They will find a placement for him, and get him the psych help he needs too,
This may come down to a need for legal guardianship. I hope not. And it definitely is worth thinking about whether you or Mom WANT guardianship. If he cannot be at all cooperative it may be better to leave his care to the State which can't be manipulated easily.
So sorry for all this trauma. Do stay strong and make it clear to social workers wherever Dad is that coming home is not now an option.
Mom needs to stand strong.
The answer to "I'm filing for divorce" is "Fine; you talk to my lawyer; I'm taking half your assets and half your pension."