What to do when you have a fixed income, small savings but do not qualify for Medicaid? I’m spending $500/mo for husband's hygiene needs.

evita, I read your profile and you both are so young to be going through all of this, plus needing to be there for your 97 year old mother who is in a nursing home. This isn't the type of retirement any of us had planned upon. It's definitely not fair.

I can understand your own feelings especially when diagnosed with a serious illness. Was glad to read that you are now in remission, but the treatment for breast cancer can leave a lot of lasting side effects. Especially those pills one needs to take for 5 to 10 years. I couldn't deal with the side effects any longer so I tossed those pills after 4 years :P And I started eating organic foods, do feel better. Organic corn on the cob is wonderful this time of the year :)

Yes, go see the "Elder Law Attorney", I know I was glad I went. I even had my very elderly parents [also in their 90's] to have all their legal documents updated, as everything they had was older than dirt, and filled with landmines as they didn't use a specialized Attorney in the far past. Anyhoo, an Elder Law Attorney knows the ins and outs of Medicaid, and will guide you.

1. Is your husband a Veteran? If so many supplies are covered and provided by the VA. Also if he is a Veteran depending on where and when he served he may qualify for a LOT more. Please check with a local Veterans Assistance office.
2. Depending on your husbands other medical conditions he may qualify for Hospice. (It can not hurt to call and ask, no longer is the time on Hospice 6 months or less, my Husband was on Hospice 3 years) Many Hospice will provide incontinence products as well as cream, gloves and other supplies. Not to mention you will get someone in to help a few times a week. And you can request a Volunteer that will come in and stay with him while you run errands or just take a bit of Me time.. (Medicare requires the 5% of the cost of patient care be Volunteer time)

Money seems to be part of your stress. If you haven't already, please contact your Area Agency on Aging and let the social workers there help determine what services you and your husband qualify to receive. You may not qualify for Medicaid due to your savings, but you still might qualify for SNAP because it's income based and that $500 you are spending on hygiene needs is a qualifying expense for SNAP, so is your husband's insulin and any other medications the two of you are taking.

My understanding of Medicaid qualification is in most states your savings can be split between you and your husband. You will still need to spend down his share of the savings before he can qualify for Medicaid but that will still leave you with some savings remaining.

Since it’s going to take some time to secure financial assistance and other assistance for your husband’s needs......consider visiting local thrift stores. My local goodwill often has a table full of brand new adult diapers and pads. Check locally owned thrift stores-I went to one yesterday and they had a small wall full of incontinence supplies! I was shocked! If you’ve got a local flea market, I’ve seen supplies at flea markets too. Good luck!

i Can imagine how stressful your situation must be as finances are a struggle for me as well. I’m getting angry with the replies Im reading. While I don’t have any to offer, people who suggested energy efficient light bulbs, thrift store shopping and going back to work are inconsiderate idiots. That doesn’t help your Problem. They might as well have said stop eating a meal or two and watch how much you’ll save. Sheesh. I hope you can find some type of state program that helps with his needs.

As working class retirees, many of us never made enough money to save that recommended $1 million for retirement. (Does that mean $2 million for a married couple?!) We’ve saved the best we could. Not enough.

A few practical suggestions, reasonable cost. Purchase energy efficient light bulbs as you go, if can’t replace all. Our home has only emergency efficient bulbs/fixtures.

I purchased a counter top toaster oven/rotisserie. Uses much less electricity than full size oven, rotisserie chicken at home is half price of a deli rotisserie chicken. The Toshiba was under $100.

Finally convinced hubs to be onboard with a small freezer, to allow me to take advantage of meat sales. I found a 5.3 CU FT one, dented, for in the garage, on sale, additional markdown for dents, for $155. It is perfect for our needs, chops off a good deal from grocery budget, when only purchasing on sale.

if you have a dog, consider making your own dog food. I have a dog on expensive prescription dog food, for her tendency to get pancreatitis. After two $1000 emergency surgeries, to figure out the cause, the homemade food replicating the expensive stuff, plus doggy vitamin, saves a lot. Make one month worth at a time, freeze in containers, five days worth, thaw as needed.

The old cook once, eat twice maxim saves not only cooking time, but gas or electricity cost as well. I’m freezing the second cooked meal, cooking double batches each dinner, for when I have surgery.

With your hubby’s health issues, I’m venturing the guess you don’t get out much. Maybe try to only take your car out when you have three or more errands, make best use of fuel and your limited time.

Consider downloading Ibotta, for small amounts of cash back, quite a few stores offer cash back, a couple of grocery stores, Amazon, Walmart. Example: link your customer information with Ibotta. Select the offers you want to use. Then order $100 worth of groceries online through Walmart or Amazon, by first entering the website through the Ibotta link. Once you have $25 cash back credit, you can get the cash back. Now I just have to remember to do it.

If you have a local farmers’ market or produce stand, go when near to closing time; often get your produce at reduced prices end of day, so they don’t have to pack it up and transport back to the cooler. We have something here called Everybody Eats Fresh, once weekly, with free produce distribution, bring your own bag. Very popular with retirees as well as working poor.

If any of your meds are tablets that can be split, ask if you can be prescribed double strength medication, use pill splitter, to get the prescribed dose, at half the copay cost.

if you have emergency fund in low interest CDs, consider taking advantage of bank promotional for opening new accounts. I picked up $850 last year moving emergency money from bank to bank. Be sure to satisfy all the fine print. It’s fast, easy money. Not a lot, but we retirees are looking for the big picture, stretching the overall budget.

For every purchase not made at a thrift store, check price online, and check for discount codes online, for online shopping. No sale, no discount code, not BOGO, sorry, won’t buy this week. I can be stubborn like that. Once you have a good pantry, you only buy sale items you actually use.

I’ll be following the suggestions on Medicare and elder care resources here, to try and reign in expenses further, and obtain community resources as available to us.

Try again to fit a therapist into your mix and get your elder care attorney's office a call for emergency consultation. You have challenges that are unique. Be grateful that your courage & character have sustained you this long. I admire you, and anyone that reads this that has moral fiber will feel the same.

Retired and living on a fixed income with only small savings is a tall order in NYC. If you and your second husband both paid into the NYS payroll tax system, then I would urge you to remain in-state and start investigating cheaper cities Upstate. There are plenty of articles dedicated to "best places" for retirees that have a lower cost of living than NYC. In the event you need to place your husband into a care home, they will be cheaper Upstate. Please let us know what your attorney says.

Find something to do that you find relaxing, anything to allow you some brain space. You are clearly completely stressed and this is making being about to prioritise difficult. If you read what you have written, your post is nothing to do with your title which shows how overwhelmed you are.. Please try and make some time for you that will enable you to approach things without the stress and panic.

Big hug to you! Know you are not alone on the fixed income, sick spouse, sick self. Due to continual job flux for the first 10 yrs of our marriage (my 2nd), we don’t have the savings we should. And with chasing work, paying to move out of our own pockets, incomes were never enough to save much. It’s hard, I agree! It was forced into retirement, medical stuff, despite being able to work remotely when we relocated to a lower cost of living retirement area., Employer would have none of the remote work. I’m now too ill to work anymore -my last few years in the workforce were so difficult due to my own poor health. Now facing hip replacement, plus two knees replacement. Hubs had lung lobectomy for cancer last Dec, many complications, 2nd emergency surgery a week later-GI bleed. Nearly lost him on the 2nd one. Despite being barely able to stand up, for the pain, I’m the caregiver here. Medical supplies are horrifically expensive, I agree. Good to know to check Goodwill & other thrift stores for incontinence supplies.
We use the Walmart Relion Prime blood glucose meters & strips here, (both of us T2), as they are cheaper than our drug plan copays, & sufficient for our needs. I check my Blood sugar whenever I go for labs, so I can check the fasting blood glucose number on my meter against the one obtained during the blood draw, as my way of assessing my meter’s accuracy. Maybe you can save there on diabetes supplies?
I just had to lay out over $4000 for a portable oxygen concentrator for myself, entire cost falls on the patient. That included the lifetime warranty, but I’m not that old, could use the machine many years, and I absolutely need the portability in order to be his caregiver.
I agree, the medical products we need are horrifically priced! I have a walker here, from hubs’ December hospitalizations disaster, he’s not using at this time. Will be needing that after my surgeries initially. I am currently looking at getting the raised potty seats for myself for the hip surgery, having been through this with one prosthetic hip over twenty years ago. They aren’t that expensive, but the wait to get home health assessment after one gets home from surgery, is going to force me to shell out of pocket. And we need a shower chair/bench as well. We got by without one when he was so ill some months back, but my own unsteadiness with three more joints being bionic soon, (knees buckle for the damage), I need to purchase. With my gut, liver, and bladder issues, I’m also looking at incontinence products for myself before long. I can’t say what’s more dignity-sapping - wearing oxygen, depending on walkers/canes to ambulate, or the incontinence issues from bladder spasms, IBSD, BAM, and symptomatic diverticular disease. My lifelong hypothyroidism is a blessing, compared to the rest of this package!
Besides other’s suggestions on thrift store incontinence supplies, if you do not have a cash back credit card, you might benefit from one. I have the AMEX Blue Cash Back Card, Run all household expenses through it, even online property tax payments. Plus you get 6% cash back, up to $6000 per year on groceries. Even with yearly card fee, I end up with decent cash back every month. I get gas cards at grocery store, when they run the $10 off. AMEX doesn’t see that as part of my groceries purchase, so I end up getting $50 gas card, discounted to $40, plus 6% cash back on the $40, bringing cost of gas card down to around $37 for $50 worth of gas.
Here in GA, disabled seniors get a sizable property tax break, and no school tax. Check for possible discounts there. Also check with your electric power company for possible discount.. We don’t yet qualify, but I check periodically for new discounts.
High medication costs, I sometimes use CanAm for imported prescription drugs. They will tell you the price plus source, when you inquire. It is sometimes cheaper than the copay using your insurance. My FL gastro put me on to them for a safe source. Shop price!