My mom has been in a nursing home for almost 4 yrs. We built a house together & lived together for 11 yrs. I provided any care that she needed. During that time my siblings never spent quality time w/ mom. When she got sick, my siblings put her in a NH. They pushed me out of any care making decisions for mom when that happened. I do what I can, but not being on mom’s NH admission documents makes that difficult. The NH doesn’t seem to care what I think. I’m a Veterinarian & only person in the family w/ a medical background. I’m also disabled due to Lyme Disease, Dysautonomia, Depression/Anxiety, Sjögrens, etc. My income is limited. My budget is tight. The cost of my medications & Dr appts is crazy. Somehow, without my input, it was decided my dad (divorced parents) would continue to pay the house note, property taxes, flood/home owners insurance, home repairs…. I pay for the utilities & lawn care. I do not pay rent because I paid for a big chunk of construction costs for my expenses/living area & more when the home was built. Now dad is asking me to pay $250 quarterly for part of the home owners insurance. I pay renter’s insurance. I barely get by each month. Since I had nothing to do w/ decisions made that put dad in the position of spending so much money, I don’t think I should be responsible for the $250 quarterly. My siblings & dad called the shots on that & I feel like I’d be paying for his/their mistake if I started helping pay insurance costs. And with this messed up family, once I started paying for anything else, there’s no way out. I can’t afford to move or I’d be gone. I can’t afford the $250 quarterly. I have a $300 Botox Rx for chronic migraine to pay quarterly. After that, the piggy bank is empty. What do y’all think about dad asking me for the $250 in the first place?? My siblings’ main concern is their inheritance. When I was mom’s primary caregiver for 11 yrs, it was free. My siblings really thought mom was gonna die soon after her admission to NH.
Yes, her house is now an exempt asset but once she dies, it no longer is. Its an asset that that Medicaid can recover from and they will place a lean on it. My Mom was on Medicaid for 3 months before she died. Her lean was 6k, 2k a month. So say for ur Mom its 2k a month thats 24k a year almost 100k after 4 years. So if Mom passed tomorrow Medicaid would put a lean on Moms house for 100k that will need to be satisfied upon sale of the house. Dad needs to get in writing that because he has maintained the house, he gets the lot. And, is the lot separate from the house? Are separate taxes paid? If not, then its part of the house and needs to be subdivided if Dad gets the lot. And, IMO, if it is separate, Medicaid should have been made aware of this because any property owned separate from the house needs to be sold for Moms care. She is only allowed, as an asset, the house and the land it sits on.
Now you, I guess when you contributed to the building of the house you were not placed on the deed? So you were able to sue Mom for that contribution so you really have no stake in the house anymore. All you have is that you live there as a disabled child. If u could claim that with MERP, you may be able to stay after Moms death but I think you must be able to maintain the house, which u can't. A lean will still be placed on the house which will need to be satisfied at time of your death or you leave for whatever reason.
Are you on Medicaid for health insurance? If so, do they not pick up the cost of your prescriptions and doctor's? You should be paying a very low co-pay at least.
Since you sued Mom for the contribution u made towards the cost of her home and won, you probably should be paying more to Dad. If he was not helping with the bills, you would not have a home. Even as a disabled child, you have to prove to Medicaid that you can maintain the house. Not sure how Merp works when there are other children who are entitled to the house too. Does the "disabled" child thing stand? Or can they sell the home for their part of the inheritance?
I think you need to start looking for a place of your own. HUD has apts that are based on income for rent. They ask for 30% of your monthly income. You are responsible for electric, phone and cable.
I would see Social Services. See if you qualify for Supplimental income and other resources. Have you talked to your County Disabilities Dept? Maybe you can find help there.
The OP lives in Mandeville, so on the Northshore (North of Lake Pontchartrain). & this area was tiny small towns and large farms till abt the 1980’s. With lots of horse farms or gentleman weekend farms owned by folks from New Orleans. Property could be lots of parcels but viewed as under 1 tax due to its “egress”. Lower & coastal Mississippi as well as same dynamics; folks get out of NOLA & somewhat lesser Baton Rouge to weekend place along coastal MS. Even if it’s huge multiple parcels, it’s probably going to be viewed as 1 item if you can show limited egress.
& along these lines, for TX there a lot of land In west TX & also adjacent to LCRA land that is landlocked. The property does not own or have title to a strip or pathway that can be an egress to a public state road. 99.9% of the time this happened as a big 100+ sections type of ranch & was divvied up to heirs and then divvied up again to their heirs. Rinse & repeat. And if yours was in the middle or up against the LCRA zone, its landlocked. It’s pretty well worthless except for it there’s still mineral rights held as the land is over the bigger oil or gas field. TX Medicaid won’t make you sell it as it’s an inaccessible asset and can’t really get sold via a traditional Realtor MLS type of listing. I’ve know of 2 who have had this.
I’d suggest that you give some serious thought to putting yourself out there to work part time in some way with a veterinary practice. There’s a ton of horse farms and polo fields on the Northshore up to Poplarville. Vets are in behind high demand & make serious bank. If you cannot do in-person work, you might could do “tele-health” for one of the existing practices as a consulting veterinarian. You have to increase your income cause if $250 a mo is the amount that breaks your bank, that is not a sustainable way to live.
So your mom is on Louisiana LTC Medicaid, is that right? I’m assuming this is it as you mentioned the disabled exemption to MERP.
And this is why dad is paying all the property costs as mom income is basically all going as a copay to her NH as required by Medicaid, right?
If this is the situation, working with MERP for Louisiana laws will not be simple. The overriding issue, imo, is that we are French based law and the rest of the US is English law based. And for heirship and marriage it’s real cumbersome to get through. LA law makes it hard to leave out heirs…. just until fairly recently all “issue” aka all kid’s whether or not legitimate had to all be heirs…. so moms will more than likely have all you kids as heirs. The problem then becomes that if you are the only heir with a MERP exemption and the others do not, it doesn’t do you any good. You’d have the exemption but not your siblings who also are equal heirs, so you’d have to buy the rest out and all that is $ into moms estate.
Dealing with exemptions and exclusions, etc for MERP can be done. It could take a year or two after death to get resolved. You have to have to in my experience have the wallet and patience to make it work. And all parties involved have to all want to and will deal with whatever needed for the property, or for probate, the entire time. If 3 siblings and only 2 of you want to keep the house, you 2 have to carry all the costs, upkeep and maintenance yet that other 1 still is an equal share heir.
Does you or dad have a usufruct for moms property? They are real super common for Louisiana. At a minimum if I were you I’d try to get a usufruct naming you for the property in moms name where you currently live. It will protect you so that your are not homeless when mom dies and the property needs to be sold or transferred.
And talking about saving....
Drop services you do not need. Cable is a biggie if you have cable and can cut that out it would be a big savings.
Since renters policies are fairly inexpensive, many non-homeowners choose to carry coverage for their personal property and liability.
Most likely, this one bill won't precipitate that crisis, but it is a clear indicator of increasing unpleasantness to come.
So, start to prepare yourself. How much equity is in the home and what documentation do you have to support your claim to what share? Are you on waiting lists for low income or disabled housing in your area? Have you already applied for and appealed any denial for SS and Medicare? Do any of the medications that you are on have special programs for low income patients?
Best case scenario would have been for Mom to set up a will that gives the house only to you and you qualify for the caregivers and or disabled child exemption to Medicaid recovery. How could you pay all the bills on your own then and could that work now? Roommates, rent out garage space, small business specializing in pets who need in home care for diabetes or chronic kidney disease (or something that touches on your skills but gives some flexibility without requiring up front investment).
If it won't ever work, keep trying to visualize something that will. Maybe renting a room in someone's house with occasional house sitting gigs could start to look better than stressing over family dynamics and finances?