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You say this is "one of the MANY bad behaviors grandpa has picked up in the last couple of years"
Dare I ask what the others are?
Your son in entitled to his own space in his own house. He should have a lock on his door.
If grandpa has not been diagnosed with dementia then he should respect your son and allow him his privacy. Obviously he has not grasped this concept and that leads me to believe there is some cognitive decline that should be diagnosed.

**side note here this might be a difficult conversation to bring up to your son but it is IMPORTANT has your grandfather tried to grab your son, exposed himself to your son or even said anything to your son that would frighten him in ANY way? I think this is an important discussion to have with EACH of your kids separately and in private preferably away from the house so the know no one else can hear the conversation**

If as you say grandpa does not have dementia then you give him a move out date (the sooner the better).
If he has dementia whoever is POA for him can make the choice of what MC facility he will become a resident of.
If no one is POA and no family wishes to become his Guardian the Court will appoint a Guardian.
A conversation with a Elder Care Attorney might be in order.

PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN
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NinjaWarrior3 Jun 2022
I was wondering the exact same thing.
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Wow, you are being very kind to someone who is causing emotional pain to your family. I can’t imagine how things will be when school is out for summer. This needs to end ASAP. Since he is your grandfather, does he have children who could get involved to take him in or get him into appropriate placement? You have got to get other family involved. If there is no other family, you need to contact your county office on aging for advice about what resources are available for him. If he served in the military, perhaps VA would be helpful.

This behavior is only going to get worse. Even though you are trying to do the right thing by grandpa, you know that this is hurting your son. You mention that you have “children”. It is wrong for all of them to be exposed to this; you’re allowing abuse. At age 10, adolescence, is right around the corner for your son. That alone is a challenging time for all.
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It’s time grandpa goes to a care facility. Reality is: he’s only got a few short years to live. Your son has a lifetime ahead of him. Let his current years be in peace so his future years won’t be lived with scars.
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cpell122112 Jun 2022
Amen.
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For today install a lock on your sons room, start your search for a home for Grandpa. Tomorrow get all papers in order. Next time a fight ensues, which may be as soon as he is locked out, call for assistance and refuse to have him back as he is terrorizing a child. Your child needs to know you love him and have his back vs abandoning him and taking Grandpas side.
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Seriously? There is only one answer Gramps needs to be placed in a home. He is fixated on your son and this could lead to a real bad situation for your son.

Protect your son at all costs, he is your first responsibility.

Don't drag your feet, start the process now.
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Time to state that unless he gives your sone his space and privacy he will have to move into a home
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cpell122112 Jun 2022
The time for "stating' has passed. Now, it's time for action! This isn't a one time schoolyard incident. This is a Great-Grandfather STALKING his Great-Grandson around his own home!
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2nd what JoAnn said.
Take action NOW.

Elderly with start of dementia can fixate on people. This can absolutely become inappropriate & sexual.

Many have been abused as minors by family members in this way.

Protect your son RIGHT NOW.
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You don't know what to do? Remove your grandfather from your home IMMEDIATELY and protect your son before someone calls CPS and removes your son from your home for exposing him to abuse on a daily basis.

Whether this is dementia or mental illness causing such behavior, your grandfather needs a psych evaluation by a REAL doctor who can diagnose him properly. You'll then know which type of facility to place him in.
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sp19690 Jun 2022
This is the correct thing to do. Grandpa has got to go
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Find a new living arrangement immediantly. Grandpa needs to be in a home. Your son is at a very important age, where mental illnesses often manifest themselves.
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Your job is to protect your children first and foremost. Gramps needs placement in a memory care facility.
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You need to realize that if Gpa does have Dementia sexual urges heighten. Your son may be afraid of him. I would have a talk with ur son, maybe his Dad. If Gpa is having sexual tendencies he needs to be removed from your home. Even though he may have no idea he is doing it, your kids should not be exposed to it.

Just want to make you aware of this.
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Your first obligation is to your son. You say grandpa doesn't have dementia. The living together isn't working out, period, and there may be a whole lot your son isn't even telling you.
As I said, first obligation is to your own child. Period.
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are there no locks on your son's door? can you move him to a different room so grandpa can't find him at night? ideally your father would be moved into care, as you can't let this go on for your son's well-being (and the rest of the family's).
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So, GPA is verbally abusing YOU and shadowing your son.

When was the last time GPA had cognitive testing?

HAve you mentioned these symptoms to his doctor?
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Leftleftneff Jun 2022
He refuses to go to the doctor. We had one episode that got so bad a family friend called the cops. The made him go to the hospital. While there they ran tests said his head is fine, everything looked normal for his age, he just had a UTI. But that doesn't explain his behavior all the time.
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Is he becoming like Herbert from "Family Guy"?
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MargaretMcKen Jun 2022
I’m starting to wonder if you are a TV character yourself. Why don’t you fill in your profile to tell us something about yourself and your own caring experience? Or is the ‘someone’ you are caring for, yourself?
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Sounds like Dementia may be involved here. Gpa needs a good check up to see if something physical is at play. An MRI will show if any Dementia is present.

I realize you want to keep him out of a NH but you may need to place him. Its not fair to your 10 yr old to have to deal with this kind of thing or ur other kids. Seems Gpa cannot be reasoned with and this is one if the first signs of Dementia. Your family is #1. They need home a soft place to land.
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Hi! I’m sure it’s very clear to you there’s something mentally not right, with your grandfather. He’s also very rude to you.

Only a doctor can figure out what’s going on, since he might have several health issues. (——He could also just be bored and want to harass someone/your son/easy target).

Obviously something’s not right with your grandfather. And you won’t be able to change his personality.
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Why is your grandfather living with you? Seems like it might be time for your grandfather to live somewhere else.
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I sounds like your father is developing dementia. His behavior is very suspicious of something getting off in his brain. Have you father medically evaluated.
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TChamp Jun 2022
Frequently patients wish dementia develop an obsession with a particular person and will shadow him/her constantly.
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