My mother is 95 and in the care of hospice. There is an opening at the hospice house where I live for me to get a 2 day respite. I take full care of my mother and my son is making me feel terrible about having her go for 2 days away from home. Is he right to call me selfish and horrible after I have been caring for her for 11 years alone? Sad.
Also remember, no one can make you feel terrible. You allow yourself to feel terrible. Stop!!
A Caregiver should have a 24 hr break once a week minimum.
You didn't mention how old your son is, but if he us over 18, tell him to watch Grandma fir for the weekend and she can stay home.
Do you have any other children? Do they help you? If not you need to think about how your son will treat you in the future if your need care. To be honest, his behaviour at the moment does not augur well so you need to take care of yourself now and plan for yourself too.
Nip it in the bud. I understand you don't want g/ma to go to the facility, so what will YOU do to give me a 2 day break....and other breaks in the future. And while you're at it, ask him what he plans to do if you happened to need this kind of in-home care?
So, you do what is good for you.
Perhaps he does it because he believes he can get by with treating you in this manner? I can promise you that no daughter of mine would DARE to treat ME in that manner for a single second. Wouldn't even cross their minds.
You need to tell your son that he should be utterly and completely ashamed of himself, and then you move on with exactly what you are doing. How DARE he treat you in this manner. Perhaps he was raised to think that the entire world puts a lot more store in his opinion than really it does? Time to grow up and learn how to treat his Mom.
Sending you a hug of support and a wish that your 2 days off are enjoyable.
Pay him no mind. Don’t let his words upset you. He’s 100% in the wrong here. Enjoy your respite and don’t feel guilty about it either! You deserve it.