My grandpa, 84 yo, recently lost his wife of 61 years to an aggressive brain tumor in March 2015. We had some time, 3 months, before her passing to help assist grandpa with getting up to speed with household management as grandma handled everything household related.
Within a month after her passing, grandpa met a woman at the senior center and after one visit, she quickly became a regular household visitor. Grandpa would take her to expensive restaurants several times a week which was very uncharacteristic of his financial expenditures. It was within a week of their meeting that he was confronted and warned by someone at the senior center of her money scheming intentions. But grandpa, deathly afraid of being all alone, refused to take heed. Needless to say, the family is not happy at all.
Fast forward 5 months, she is at his residence every day. She has requested he buy her glasses, take her on vacations, buy her a new car, take her gaming (and give her money to gamble because "she is luckier at the casino when she gambles with other's money") and she recently asked him to add her to his checking accounts. We've done a little research on her background and found she has a gambling addiction, previous troubles with unpaid taxes, SEC8 housing, and a bad reputation for being a swindler. She has convinced grandpa that his family is awful and only wants his money. He has met with a lawyer and revoked his children's financial access. From what we can tell, he's out a minimum of $40K in 5 months without any explanation of where the money has gone.
Lawfully, there is nothing the family can do about this as he is willing giving money to her. While we, the extended family, can clearly see her true intentions, Grandpa desperately doesn't want to be alone so gives in to all of her requests. He has stopped taking his medications and refuses to see a doctor. Soon, we imagine, he'll stop taking our phone calls as well as she has convinced him that his family is no good.
While he is quickly loosing his entire life savings, we feel like we are losing the patriarch of our family.
Is there anything we can do?
I'm not sure withholding funeral obituaries would help in the long run. Word gets out. Surviving spouses meet new people. The only real legal protection that I know of is an irrevocable trust. However that is an understandably difficult decision for many elders to make.
There is no surviving spouse in this case.
JoAnn, I think you're right; I do think men are more vulnerable when their wives dies first - wives really can hold a family together and provide support which men may not realize until they're gone. That's not a criticism, just perhaps the way things are.
What I have observed, fortunately most of them burn themselves out after a few months or years of agony for the family. But some result in disastrous late in life marriages These scammers aren't only at senior centers. They attend funerals of people they barely know, work as receptionists at investment businesses, and troll bereavement groups.
UPDATE ON OUR DIY INVESTIGATION -
Oh Facebook. I am thankful for people with public profiles. We have located the swindlers entire family!! All of her children and grandchildren. We even have an address! But no current phone numbers. Our next plan is to contact them.
We met with a lawyer who estimates this process of obtaining guardianship at a minimum of $10K. DANG. That's out of reach. However, he ran a quick report on this woman and she has an open and active court civil judgement for $3100. She never showed up to court for it and now has a warrant!! We are calling the police today. Now, I realize that when she gets picked up, Grandpa will bail her out. And probably pay her fine. So we are strategically planning a way on how to handle this that will get him back on "team family" and not "team scammer".
Also, we spoke with the senior center, police [prior to knowing about the warrant], the department of human services and APS. No one will do a darn thing about this. This is beyond frustrating. I wrote to the DOJ and FBI last week too but of course have heard nothing.
I wasn't aware a Bench Warrant was issued though for a civil judgment; it's been years since I've had any experience with one, but I thought that civil judgments could be entered with the defendant in absentia, and a true copy just sent to him/her, just as a Default Judgment would be handled.
Bench Warrants to the best of my knowledge are issued for failure to appear in response to a Subpoena or some criminal action.
Another possibility: get a copy of the civil Judgment as well as the pleadings (or have your attorney do it) to see what the civil case was about. You may have to go all the way back to the original Complaint.
If it's for scamming (i.e. a suit by another victim), you've hit paydirt. Copy the complaint, judgment and send it to the Senior Center and anyone in charge at the city/county level.
You might try pulling a legal maneuver on them, after discussing first with your attorney, and advise them (assuming that the suit is for some financial victimization) that they have "constructive and active notice" that this woman who's scammed before is being allowed in the Senior Center, using their premises to identify at least one victim, and that their failure to prevent her access could affect their liability if they're providing and allowing her to use the Center as a place to identify victims.
It might be a stretch, so check with your attorney first. But municipal officials can tend to be more concerned if their actions or inactions are on the line.
Maybe it's also time to anonymously send a copy of the pleadings you obtain (as well as a copy of the Bench Warrant if it's filed before she's located and commandeered) to the local news stations, with information on having contacted various governmental entities that haven't done anything.
I would, however, not contact the swindler's family yourself. You don't know whether or not these people are violent.
Much as I detest Facebook, this is one case in which it's been helpful. It's also hard to imagine anyone who's a scammer being so stupid as to post information about her activities online in a social media site, but then, thank God for stupid people.
My point was that the officials have been made aware that this woman is using the Senior Center as hunting grounds, has found at least one victim, but the officials have failed to take action to prevent her activity.
There used to be a level of liability difference between actual and constructive notice, with the former raising the level.
This is just so disgraceful. I'd love to see them caught and exposed.
What would be great is if the police set up a sting operation.
Call the United States Senate Special Committee on Aging. Their website says that "If you or a loved one have been the victim of fraud, please contact us at 1-855-303-9470."
I agree with Ruthie that you should not let the Senior Center off the hook. Bad publicity is every town official's nightmare. If this woman's name doesn't appear on the records then the senior center director is lazy with the paperwork. I would want to know whether the director was hired after a thorough background check. Start asking town officials the hard questions - policy questions. You have the right to know whether the senior center really is a safe place and that everyone who works there checks out. Keep up the tremendous work, Support!!!
We set grandpa up with an online senior dating profile. I don't know that it was the best move but our intent was to show him that the grass is greener. He refuses to let go of 'scammer' because he doesn't want to [in his words], "Sit home and stare at the walls". He seems pretty excited about it but he too busy shuttling 'scammer' to the casino to really delve into it. This is all so exhausting. We are interviewing potential private investigators this week. And fueling up our energy to battle the Senior Center.
Thanks again for ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT, EVERYONE! So appreciated!
You might also explain that she's using your GF's money and he's almost broke (whether he is or not) and that as a family you would intervene to ensure that he's not held responsible for this woman's debts, and her gambling debts (if any) would likely remain unpaid.
Maybe if the casino managers think she's going to run up debts that won't be paid, they'll think twice.
Since he doesn't want to "sit home and stare at the walls", can you create a program whereby members of your family take him someplace different on a regular basis, even if it's just out to lunch? It might help break the hold this woman has on him.
And even though I think this is underhanded, it might be worth it: when someone has him out for awhile, get security cameras, voice activated if that's possible, to monitor her when she comes to his house. You may get evidence of her asking him for money.
Honestly, I'm not sure it's legal, but it might be used to "convince" her to leave him alone as well as to let her know you mean business. This woman seems to be very, very determined.
We spoke with the courthouse and they said the previous civil warrant is no longer active. We opened an investigation with the local police department. We even opened a personal ad for Grandpa to help him 'move on' from this woman. He's not interested. Quite frankly, we feel defeated. He now takes this woman to the casino about 5 days a week!! We were going to contact her children about her 'gambling habit' which we knew would bother her that we knew of her children but that hasn't worked out well. We can't find any working phone numbers. I've focused my energy on building a community garden in grandma's name.