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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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What would you tell her, that you think she's forgetful, seems confused? Would you tell her you think she may have Alzheimer's? How would she react to your telling her that? Confusion and short term memory loss are certainly signs of dementia, but to jump to the conclusion that she may have AD is way too premature. There are many reasons for dementia symptoms, some say as many as 80- 100, some treatable, many not. Other than confusion and memory, does she function normally during the day? Can she carry on a normal conversation? Has she become apathetic about her appearance or hygiene? Does she have a family history of dementia? All of these questions and many others can help to evaluate her cognitive state. At her next doctor visit, have her screened for dementia. Today, most doctors do dementia screening for patients over 65 as part of a routine visit. There is no routine screen for AD.
So, at this point, don't say anything, it's too early to guess the reason for her symptoms. Make an appt with her doctor and go with her so you can tell the dr what you witness in her behavior. If dementia is suspected, a follow up visit with a specialist would be ordered.
Have you discounted a UTI? Has she had her thyroid checked? Diabetes? Every other possible reason for the confusion should be explored because these can be addressed with meds or other treatments. I'm hoping she has an assigned PoA, someone younger than you (sorry, you are 90 and may have your own issues at some point). In order for her PoA to have active authority it will require an official diagnosis in her medical records. Please make sure she has this in place before she her condition worsens, if it is indeed dementia. May you both receive peace in your hearts on this journey.
Some confusion and memory loss may just be mild cognitive impairment which can happen as we age. Sometimes it doesn't progress. Often with AD anosognosia occurs, and so the person will be unaware of their losses and deny them, possibly getting very irritated with the caregiver in the process (and this is consistent across the board--they don't remember what they did or didn't do beyond a few minutes, so trying to reason or tell them will just be frustrating for you, and agitate them). If there is testing to support a diagnosis then the physician/provider can tell her if it's something she can process, but if forgotten I wouldn't revisit it. A lot of people choose not to tell their loved ones-it's a devastating diagnosis, and knowing isn't going to do anything other than cause worry. My mom knows she has 'memory problems' and that's as far as we go. However, some people don't like feeling as if they are lying to their loved one. It's a very individual decision. This was helpful to me: http://www.dementiacarestrategies.com/12_pt_Understanding_the_Dementia_Experience.pdf And this: https://tamcummings.com/stages-of-dementia/
Most people with Alzheimer's are more than aware that there is something wrong with their brain, though they may not want to admit it. What would you hope to accomplish by telling her? It really won't change things or make things any better, in fact it may just make her angry. My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2018, which is the most aggressive of all the dementias, with a life expectancy of only 5 years, and I never shared that info with him, as to me it served no purpose. He died a little over 2 years later. I guess if you feel she should be told, I would have the doctor tell her, as then she can be mad at him/her instead of you. Although again, I am sure she is more than aware that there is something going on with her brain. I wish you the very best.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
So, at this point, don't say anything, it's too early to guess the reason for her symptoms. Make an appt with her doctor and go with her so you can tell the dr what you witness in her behavior. If dementia is suspected, a follow up visit with a specialist would be ordered.
Often with AD anosognosia occurs, and so the person will be unaware of their losses and deny them, possibly getting very irritated with the caregiver in the process (and this is consistent across the board--they don't remember what they did or didn't do beyond a few minutes, so trying to reason or tell them will just be frustrating for you, and agitate them). If there is testing to support a diagnosis then the physician/provider can tell her if it's something she can process, but if forgotten I wouldn't revisit it. A lot of people choose not to tell their loved ones-it's a devastating diagnosis, and knowing isn't going to do anything other than cause worry. My mom knows she has 'memory problems' and that's as far as we go. However, some people don't like feeling as if they are lying to their loved one. It's a very individual decision.
This was helpful to me: http://www.dementiacarestrategies.com/12_pt_Understanding_the_Dementia_Experience.pdf
And this:
https://tamcummings.com/stages-of-dementia/
What would you hope to accomplish by telling her? It really won't change things or make things any better, in fact it may just make her angry.
My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2018, which is the most aggressive of all the dementias, with a life expectancy of only 5 years, and I never shared that info with him, as to me it served no purpose. He died a little over 2 years later.
I guess if you feel she should be told, I would have the doctor tell her, as then she can be mad at him/her instead of you. Although again, I am sure she is more than aware that there is something going on with her brain.
I wish you the very best.