10 years ago I moved in with my Mom to care for her after her stroke. She has many health problems including dementia and cannot be left alone. I work full time and also kept my own home, where my adult son lives, and that is the address I use as my primary residence. I have not had a break in 10 years, and have managed all of Mom's healthcare. Mom has paid caregiving from the county (DuPage, IL) while I work. She did not qualify for Medicaid. Mom is now on hospice and declining. My brother is her POA. Does anyone know if Mom's home will be transferred to me when she passes? I know we should have set this all up 10 years ago. Would have done a LOT of things differently, like insisting upon a few hours break every week so I could spend time with my kids. I don't have money for an elder law attorney. My brother just says he doesn't know what's going to happen. So I'm left hanging here. Can anyone advise me on this?
When my sister died without a will, the state assigned an administrator. The state came in and told my Mom what each piece of furniture should be sold for. The lawyer handled everything. The state of MD got a % I think.
But one has to ask. If you have been your mother's primary caregiver for all of these years, what precisely has your brother been doing with the authority your mother gave him? At the very least, he can reread and send you a copy of his POA document. Could be it does give him the authority to do *something* to assist you, albeit belatedly.
Also... this may not have happened in your own mother's case, but very often people do sort out wills, funeral instructions, powers of attorney and healthcare directives all in a lump, as one of those disagreeable tasks that we all ought to "get round to" at some point. So if your mother did at least go to the trouble of creating a power of attorney some years ago, it might be worth asking if she didn't at the same time attend to her will. Is your brother being evasive because he just hasn't stirred himself to find out, or is he quite sure there isn't one?
I saw in your profile that you've been providing your mother's care for 10 years. Serious kudos for you -- that's a long time to provide the kind of care you have been providing and would have cost your mother hundreds of thousands of dollars if she had been paying for it. I hope that your brother is honorable and rewards you appropriately with his 50%, but if not, at least you know that you've been an excellent daughter.
An additional thought, perhaps as guidance for your brother, in many states, if someone provides the kind of care you've been providing for at least two years for someone in their home, then title to that home can be transferred to the caregiver without a Medicaid eligibility penalty.
Do you have the original recorded Deed from when she took title to the house? How is it worded?
If there's no will or trust, she would be considered to have died "intestate", the laws of which are specific to individual states. Title would then pass, through probate intervention I believe, to whichever relative is mandated by state law.
As an aside, you wrote that you worked full time but that Mother can't be left alone. Sometimes cared for elders make arrangements for caregivers, arrangements of which their adult children are unaware.
If you don't have the recorded Deed, or a copy of it, I would get one ASAP from the Register of Deeds, or Recorder's, or similar county office.