In all of our dealings with mom who has dementia and won't allow us to help her, no one has suggested APS. We are waiting trial for guardianship and today somone asked why we didn't seek the help of APS? All I could remember was reading somewhere that we wouldn't want them involved. So tell me why?
The caregiver in question was manipulative, dishonest, and emotionally unstable. That had also been documented through outside sources.
APS "investigated", spoke ONLY with the so-called "hospice" company and possibly the caregiver, but ignored the photos, and said they felt the caregiver was going a good job. Besides, added the so-called caseworker, this person "was a few weeks away from death anyway."
To say that we were livid as well as disappointed and fearful is an understatement. The loved one in question was literally a prisoner in her own home. But APS felt she was dying anyway and the "caregiver" was doing a good job.
To honestly express our anger, disappointment and contempt for APS would likely involved a choice of words that aren't consistent with use on a public forum.
I've also contacted them trying to find assistance for specific issues which I can't recall now (I think I was looking for outside help for major cleanups, something like that perhaps) and got no suggestions. It wasn't even an issue they would consider.) That was the second contact with them. And it's the last.
APS can be manipulated, as I also saw when SW who I refused to allow contact hinted about involving them.
Why wouldn't you want them involved? Although I don't specifically recall your situation, my answer would be that I think it's unlikely they would be of any help anyway. If you're already involved in guardianship proceedings and have a good attorney, that's a better option than involving an agency with a mandate which might not contribute anything at all. Again, I don't recall your specific situation, so my comments are qualified.
And from what I've read here, there are instances in which a caregiver is blamed, because he/s he seems to be an easier target than hostile, complaining and vengeful family members. Sometimes it's the "squeaky wheel" that gets the attention.
Someone alerted APS and they came to see her. Immediately it was clear she had dementia. There were no broken bones, no bruises and her meds were sitting right on the coffee table. Her case was dismissed BUT NO ONE FROM THE APS OFFICE EVEN NOTIFIED ME! I'm her only child and POA.
I got wind of it through the building manager and I called APS. They said that the case was resolved and they don't have enough time to call family members to follow up!!!
Incredible!! If she was that confused, why didn't they contact me to place her in a memory care facility (which is what I did a month later.)
I really can't say much a nothin' good 'bout 'em.
If you need a recommendation and support from someone, hire a geriatric care manager to come in and assess the home conditions and the care received. You need someone that has had no interaction with you for APS to speak with especially in a contested guardianship situation.
Always remember, unless the parent is incompetent, they have the right to do what they wish with their resources, and live the way they want. And the judge will take a great deal of value in that. If they do not want to do as you want, and do a good job of expressing it, the guardianship will not be granted. Also, your reputation and criminal record (I am not saying at all that there is one) will be of primary importance. If there is anything shady in your background, the guardianship will not be granted.
Exactly what does APS do when they come in...do they notify you prior to coming or do they just show up? And exactly what evidence do they gather...who do they speak to and how do they render a decision? When and how are you notified of the decision? What happens to the individual at the center of the investigation? Where do you go from there?
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