Mom has always been sort of "off" and everyone has always pretended as if nothing was wrong. Then about 3 years ago, I had to take her car keys away because she wasn't even able to pull along side the curb or in to the driveway to park and no one else would say anything to her about it. My sisters would change the subject if I brought it up and one of them said "Well it's none of my business. She wants to drive so I'm staying out of it." This was the sister living in Mom's house. When I tried to explain that anyone knowing Mom wasn't capable of operating a vehicle could be charged with a crime if Mom caused an accident, they laughed at me. And when I asked "What if she's killed?" they ignored.
8 months ago, Mom became very sick and was hospitalized. This was only after 2 of my sisters refused to do anything and I had to call an ambulance. When Mom came home, it was quite obvious that something had happened and she would be needing a lot of help from now on.
Mom's been unable to pay her bills, go grocery shopping, buy her own clothes, or maintain the house. To see that she didn't starve or go naked, we all agreed that I would buy things for her benefit. I would use her money for her things like bills, adult diapers, food, shoes, clothes, cleaning supplies, etc.. And I was given Mom's debit card and pin to be able to do this.
Less than a month later, my son began accusing me of theft. I was mortified and heartbroken. When I asked him what I had stolen, he wouldn't answer. Instead he called me names and said I was crazy. I've been physically locked out of Mom's house (I live there now, too) for almost a week. Then, he called the authorities and reported me as abusing an elderly person.
When I asked my sister to tell the truth about what she knew regarding the agreement and the items that were purchased, she refused. Said she didn't want to get in the middle of it. Said it was between me and my son. I pointed out that I have been questioned by authorities but she ignored me.
I showed the receipts I have to authorities and explained that I was taking care of Mom. All money was spent at grocery stores, home depot, on medical bills. I wasn't buying diamonds or going out to eat. The funds spent weren't for my benefit unless you consider keeping Mom fed and clean for my benefit.
There is no POA or Conservatorship. The closest we get is that I am nominated as Personal Representative or Executor in her will. By the way, I am to inherit nothing and want nothing.
I am scared and absolutely destroyed over my own child believing I'm capable of robbing an old woman whom I had been helping to protect.
I know the hurt. My relationship with my oldest daughter became very strained with my four years of caregiving. I know she was talking to my twisted sissies. She just didn't know what to believe, and one twisted is an extreme narc and has her ways of sucking almost anyone into anything. That is just the way it is. I cannot change whatever the heck my daughter thinks. That is her problem. Yes, it is very hurtful but I do not know how to change it. I can only change my reaction to her.
is your mother living in that same house currently- who is looking after her now if you are unable to do so?