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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I'm with you, I've already told my parents, I draw the line at changing diapers, if they need that kind of help it will be time to move to a facility. I do shampoo their hair, and help with nails, and body lotion (back & legs where they cannot reach) but I will not do diapers, toileting help or bathe their privates. Thus far they are making sure they do all of that themselves, but some day it might prove otherwise.
roxie823, did you raise children? I think it might be a little tougher if this is your very first experience dealing with someone else's toileting issues. Not that potty training a toddler is much like helping an adult, but at least it is an exposure to the experience.
What is it about the experience that most bothers your stomach? Smell maybe? The indignity of the whole process?
I hope that some professionals (nurses, aides, paid caregivers) will post here and explain how they got over their squeamishness or stomach rebellion. I am not a health care professional but it helped me to approach the situation matter-of-factly as a job to be done. I remember one time in particular helping my husband who had an accident not getting to the toilet fast enough in a men's room. When he didn't come out I went in, saw the huge mess, and immediately turned my mind to "professional helper" mode. I had to deal with the clean-up work but he had to deal with the embarrassment. I wouldn't have traded roles with him and did all I could to reassure him it was no big deal and we'd get it all taken care of in no time, etc.
Roxie823, one option is to decide it is time for Mother to be placed where professionals will handle this. If toileting is the only obstacle to you continuing to care for her, I hope you will overcome your own issues with it.
I'm okay with toileting, poopy bottoms, enemas, bathing, whatever else - just can't handle vomit. OMG, I will get the heaves while anyone is vomiting. Thank goodness it doesn't happen often. I don't go to bars anymore anyway, but back in the day, the bathroom was a minefield for me.
Oh, yeah, I don't do blood well either. That hasn't come up with MIL at all yet, but when my kids were little, I'd pass out for bloody noses and such. Not too embarrassing.
Can you spray air freshener before you enter the bathroom? Maybe spread some Vicks on your upper lip? Wear a mask? If I think of anything else, I will let you know. I feel for you, because if you don't have the stomach for it now, it probably won't get any better.
Changing poopy diapers and wiping poopy butt's WAS my bottom line. Guess what? I crossed it and lived. Gagged at first but yeah, I am alive! It wasn't the end of all ends I had perpetrated in my head. DARN!
Lovely smelling sprays and a giant scarf that wraps around your face at least two times will help in the beginning. After that, you realize how silly you look with your head wrapped up and you move forward... febreeze in hand, like a soldier!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
What is it about the experience that most bothers your stomach? Smell maybe? The indignity of the whole process?
I hope that some professionals (nurses, aides, paid caregivers) will post here and explain how they got over their squeamishness or stomach rebellion. I am not a health care professional but it helped me to approach the situation matter-of-factly as a job to be done. I remember one time in particular helping my husband who had an accident not getting to the toilet fast enough in a men's room. When he didn't come out I went in, saw the huge mess, and immediately turned my mind to "professional helper" mode. I had to deal with the clean-up work but he had to deal with the embarrassment. I wouldn't have traded roles with him and did all I could to reassure him it was no big deal and we'd get it all taken care of in no time, etc.
Roxie823, one option is to decide it is time for Mother to be placed where professionals will handle this. If toileting is the only obstacle to you continuing to care for her, I hope you will overcome your own issues with it.
Oh, yeah, I don't do blood well either. That hasn't come up with MIL at all yet, but when my kids were little, I'd pass out for bloody noses and such. Not too embarrassing.
Can you spray air freshener before you enter the bathroom? Maybe spread some Vicks on your upper lip? Wear a mask? If I think of anything else, I will let you know. I feel for you, because if you don't have the stomach for it now, it probably won't get any better.
Lovely smelling sprays and a giant scarf that wraps around your face at least two times will help in the beginning. After that, you realize how silly you look with your head wrapped up and you move forward... febreeze in hand, like a soldier!
Really, the more you do something, the better you get at it usually. So with experience comes tolerance.