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Just read your profile.

I am so sorry that you are confused and struggling with the decision of whether to place your husband in a facility.

You mentioned that you have had two psychiatrists recommended that you should place your husband in a facility. I have to say that I would follow their advice.

I know that you feel that it is too early to place him. He’s 83. It’s not too soon. Most people will agree that it is better for a person with dementia to be placed before it becomes absolutely necessary to do so.

He is not going to improve. Things will become more challenging for you and for him. If he is placed now it will allow him more time to acclimate to his new surroundings.

Wishing you peace as you continue on your caregiving journey. Please consider becoming an advocate for your husband in a facility. You are not abandoning him. You can return to being his loving wife and visit him as often as you like.

To answer your question about respite care, this is a caregiver support forum, not a caregiver agency. Do call agencies in your area to hire someone to help you.
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Monty, call around to your local charities, Jewish Services, Catholic charities, etc and ask if the have volunteer sitters. They can help you or direct you to help.

Where I live, you can get two 4 hour time slots a month, depending on volunteers available.
They can not do any hands on physical care, like changing a depends, only give food and drink already prepared and spend time with your loved one.
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Try Care.com or contact an in-home aid agency, or contact your local Area Agency on Aging for resources.
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