Follow
Share

My 88 year old mother with Alzheimers has been living with us for 6 weeks now after being in a nursing home for 2 years. I was not able to see her day to day activity level when she was there but in the 6 weeks here she is sleeping increasingly more and I am wondering if this is part of the normal progression. I had started to feel guilty letting her sleep so much but we are now seeing that she gets cranky and more symptomatic and even less independant in her thinking if she doesnt get all that sleep. I am wondering if this is normal to see and if I should just let nature take it's course.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

81 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
1 2 3
Why in the world did you take her out of the nursing home?
(3)
Report
If the nursing home was not near you it would have been better to move her to one closer to yoy. If she is on medacaide she should be able to get home care and if she was self pay when she was in the nursing home she should be able to pay for help in your home esp. at night if she does not sleep at night due to sleeping much of the day. If she has money it should go for her care now when she needs it to help you cope with her care 24/7. Many of us would like to be in that position and now is the time to do it.
(0)
Report
Hi Annie, None of the above have answered your question. Yes, sleeping more and more is part of the end stages of Alzheimer's. Contacting Hospice would be a great idea because they have much experience with such patients. Has the doctor or nursing home given an evaluation as to what stage she's in? This information gives much guidance as to what to do. At earlier stages, keeping the loved one active during the day may help the night time sleep problem.
Good luck. And the book 'Creating Moments of Joy', may help. the title is all you need to know about the book. The title should be the goal of all care givers.
(9)
Report
My Mother is almost 90 and just got diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She currently lives in an Assisted Living Facility and I've noticed that she sleeps more and more also. I think part of her problem is that she doesn't sleep very well at night. She gets her days & nights mixed up and in addition to her two naps during the day, she wants to doze off after dinner as well. I have observed what you have about her temperament if she does stay awake. I've tried to get her involved in the few activities at her place that she could do, but the interest just isn't there anymore. She would much rather sleep. No solutions in this e-mail, but I wanted you to know that I feel for you and appreciate you posing this question.

NP
(3)
Report
my dad is 86 yrs old , he too sleeps alot . (dementia)stays awake for a bit to watch tv then goes off to sleeping . its peaceful for him and its peaceful for me . tryin to keep him awake is like handling a newborn cryin all thetime . he whines and moans and gibberishin .
by all means if he s happy sleeping and then so am i . at night time when he cant sleep i play his music all night long , pasty cline . one of his fav , he sings along with her and i go to sleep .
dad hated nursing home . they make him do things he dont enjoy doing and make him sit in wheelchair and he is not comferatble and it hurts his back . he rather be at home in peace and sleep in his fav recliner or in his bed . let him be ...
it upset me to see him in rehab sittin in wheelchair cryin begging nurses to put him in bed . they all told him no .
ive decided that he was in there long enuff and he wasnt getting any better there . he s happy to be home with his family surounding ... and so am i cuz i see him any secs any time . instead of me sittin at home and wondering if dad s ok at rehab .
nah they wanna be at home and be left alone to sleep and get the lovin care from families . so anne3857 you are doing a fine job ,,,,
(6)
Report
I agree with linda09, annie3857 great Job!!! It's a Beautiful thing to be able to bring your loved one home if you can. Mom is 88 years old and she says and seems more comfortable in bed. While in the nursing home I found her in certain conditions that tore me up inside, so my goal was completely focused on bring her home, she came home on December 27th and she's been happy ever since. She sleeps no matter where I put her, so again since she's more comfortable in bed, that's where she is most of the time, I just turn her every two hours or so to prevent bed sores. She also cannot do anything for her self, but she still has her shiny disposition and we as a family Love and appreciate IT!
(5)
Report
I knew two people with Alzheimer's who did sleep a lot. I currently have a 94 yr old relative who does NOT have Alzheimer's or any neurological impairment. She sleeps fine at night but falls asleep watching TV during the day. She asks why she sleeps so much and I said it's because she's in her 90's and that it what 90 yr old's do ??? (But I fall asleep watching TV, and I'm only 57). The relative is slightly anemic and as of a yr or so ago, her kidneys have started to fail a little. All she takes for this is a multi vitamin with iron. The biggest problem in sleeping so often is the person thinking it is the next day and they take their medication a second time that day. However, we don't have this problem because my relative understands that if she is in her chair, and she is dressed, it's the same day. A person with dementia, would not understand or remember this.
(0)
Report
Sleeping a lot seems to be common. My father was 92 years old and probably slept 18 hours a day. He kept his bedroom dark like a cave and would move from bedroom to sleeping in his recliner separated by eating times and some "uptime". That was what suited his system and he slept well at night too.
(2)
Report
My mother is 92 and she is sleeping longer and later. She doesn't go to bed until 11:00pm or so but sleeps until noon or 1:00 somedays. Then she eats her breakfast and falls back to sleep in her recliner. She doesn't have a dementia or Alzheimer's diagnosis. But her heart isn't able to pump forcefully and this causes a lack of oxygen to the brain. I'm guessing this is why she sleeps so much.
(1)
Report
I've noticed the same thing in my own mother, who's almost 81, relatively young. She's relatively sound of mind, but does tend to sleep during the day; every few days she sometimes slips into a deep sleep that makes her look almost dead. She does not wish to get up so I just leave her be.
You're probably doing the right thing to have your mother home even if she is sleeping. Are you able to leave her at times? Does she seem okay otherwise, no pain or other ailments? It might help if she could be propped up.
Don't feel bad, you're doing what works for you.
(2)
Report
My mom is almost 90 and has just starting sleeping all day and through the night. She does not want to get out of bed. You can visit with her while she is in bed but if people bother her to get up she gets agitated. I am wondering if she is dying? Any thoughts. She is in assisted living......I say let her sleep if she if happy. On my way to bath her now.
(1)
Report
My Mother has dementhia,never in her six childrens lives would they ever allow nor think to place Mom in any nursing home.Most are treated terribly ,irnored,left to lay there,I have worked in many of these homes and unless you have a good amount of money those poor elderly folks are left to endure this alone.I have quit numerous jobs because of the poor treatment and I left and always filed reports on these animal hospitals for the elderly.From some of the answers i see here I can see many have not endured the hell of watching a loved one suffer with this brain illness, but it is painful on many levels.Treat yourself to something new, go to one and pay close attention to their (nursing) care giving.These poor people DO NOT leave this world with dignity and most are placed their because they have people thye loved but it's not a shared feeling due to these so called loved ones are to lazy to return to Mom Dad what Mom dad gave them , love and unconditional devotion!!!!! PATHETIC FAMILY ,if you dont know enough live and learn and if you know it all and still leave them in this facilities you are to LAZY to give to them what they once gave to you
(0)
Report
My Mom is 86, sleeps 18hrs a day it seems but gets up & reads or sits, she seems happy, eats well. She has Dementia but knows who my hub & I are. I learned to patience the meaness right our of her. If she says somethin ridiculous or untrue, we go with it. She has an illness, no big deal, or if she is grumpy or huffy, you know what I mean, we just mention some fond memory like "hey, didn't you use to go dancing w your brother in NY?' Oh boy, good mood coming! We're lucky she can still do her own hygiene.
(2)
Report
Yes, life as we knew it is over, but its a blessing too. Between my brother & sis in law, my husband helps a lot; we work it out. The hard thing for them is giving up the independence, hey its hard, wouldn't it be for you?
(2)
Report
You know its pretty sad to view all these comments from people who are just plain selfish and stupid! Wtf do you mean 'why did you take her out of nursing home'???????? Cuz that's his d*** mother she shouldn't have been in a nursing home in the 1st place. It's just really sad that people leave their parents in nursing homes because apparently they don't have the time of the day to care for their own siblings? Let me say one thing its pretty screwed up to leave your loved one at a place where you can't YOURSELF keep an eye on em, the last thing you want is a phone call from a person who you don't even know to tell you about your own mothers well being. Good for you to get her out of a hell hole like that, I used to work for a seniors home and trust me nobody likes it in there. I hope the best for her and its perfectly normal to have your 88 year old mother 'over' sleep.
When you get up there in age, your heart isn't the same its kind of like her battery is running low. Not trying to be mean. If you really feel like there is something wrong you may have to take her to the doc to have a quick check up. Best wishes to you and momma!
(0)
Report
Allzmilez, you are coming across very harsh and from your profile you are new to this site. I think you may be a troll or just someone that does not understand the personal toll when caring for an elder. If you are able to do it, good for you, but not everybody can.
(4)
Report
No I'm just very family oriented and that was not harsh it's real talk! Anyone can do anything if they just believe they can. Everybody has work, kids and life. I get it. I have three kids.. going to school.. working and taking care of my mother and brother who is schizophrenic. I'm blessed for having a husband who helps me.. I use to be that person who said "I CANT DO THIS." But then I learned to just stay positive, and I realized that i am blessed for being able to care for others. Especially those who are in need, really need their families more than anything. I don't mean to come off harsh and I apologize for that, but it just makes me really mad when someone is trying to make others feel stupid for doing a good and very nice thing. Calling someone a troll is pretty harsh, But I know you don't even know what I look like so it really doesn't phase me. Cuz im pretty good looking ;) That's the problem that people have.. they don't want to do it and they make up excuse in their heads that they can't do it. Its like saying 'I have a child but i cant take care of em because I always have to work and I care about myself more than others so I'll just drop em off to others so they can care for em'. I have dealt with many people like this and I have family members and friends who are like this but I still love em. I just wish people would open their minds a lil bit more. But its good, everybody is different I get it. I didn't mean to offend anyone! Trust me I understand.. but believe this there is so much more happiness out in the world if you just accept it.
(0)
Report
For once it is wonderful to hear of so many people being able to care for their loved one at home. also having a person who is pleasant to be around even if they do prefer to sleep much of the time. It adds to their contentment. Does not necessarily mean they are close to death just part of the aging process. Enjoy these elders who are not cursing and throwing stuff or finger painting in the bathroom, they are a gift. Some people have no alternative but to place their loved ones in a NH. I won't go into the reasons and many did not want to do it but that's life. Like everyone else I hate to see patients lining the halls with their chins on their chests fast asleep but the current trend is not to let them stay in bed for their own good. If I ran a NH and I never will all the patients who had to get up would be placed in comfortable recliners At least it is better than 60 years ago when geriatric patients were warehoused 30 to an open ward in what used to be the Work House Charles Dickens described.
(1)
Report
This seems an older thread... but it is worrisome when they sleep a lot, and yes Panda... sometimes I sneak into her room to see if she is breathing.
But now that I have been at this for a few years, if nothing else, it has become obvious that she sleeps way more in the winter when the days are short and dark.
I don't quite understand this forum yet. This came up in my list when I checked in, but it is also an older thread. I hope I am doing it right, lol.
(0)
Report
ALLZ, just the other day a friend of mine called me stupid for taking care of my mother who was abusive when I was a child. Then at hubby's work Christmas party, people came and held my hand and told me what an angel I am, because of the same. Maybe the truth isn't always in-between these extremes, but most of the time it is.
(0)
Report
Thank you to all of you that are caring for loved ones at home with the sleeping so much. I have my mother of 89 here in our home and yes she takes several naps a days for up to 2 hours each. She is healthy, but yet in the past several years since my father passed away, she has done less and less, she had lukemina which is in full remission 10 years ago, and her last check up showed her well for her age. I was concerned about her sleeping so much, but after reading so many comments about other loved ones doing the same, I feel a bit better as it was driving me crazy. I would beg her to do her puzzles or other things to the point of exhaustion on myself. Her doctor says there is nothing wrong, it's just her. I am just happy to have her with me. I promised my father that I would take care of her and a nursing home is out of the quesiton, not due to money or insurance, she has both, but due to the fact that this is her home and her bed, why let her go to a place that has a weird smell, sit in a chair or bed all day, and just give up ( I have seen too many in nursing homes that have as their loved ones just dump them off and don't care). I have 2 brothers that haven't seen her in over 12 years, they don't care, so I am the sole care taker, it's rough at times and yes I do get overwhelmed and cry as I am taking care of her, the house, the property, and my business that thankfully I can do out of my house, so yes there are times it gets too much, but I am thankful to have her in my life. So God Bless all of you that are caring for a loved one, it can be hard, but the rewards out number it, and thank you for your comments, you have helped me more than you can know
(1)
Report
is it sleeping or boredom cuz she cant [or feels like she cant] do anything? or maybe pain like toothache she is hiding?... heres my tip:... sing-a-long type songs... the song of music.... oklahoma...hymns or a song she will be able to hum along or even sing to... mason university did a study that indicates the ppl that belted out the show tunes in the sing-a-longs had the most increase in brain activity long after the sing-a-long was over.. even sinatra or perry como stuff if that was what your dementia patient likes to listen to
(0)
Report
My mom has dementia and is sleeping more too.. Sometimes she sleeps over 8 hours. I let Mom sleep. She watches her TV and then dozes off. What else do they have to do? Sleep eat and watch TV.. I cant afford a home for Mom so as hard as it may be at times, Mom will stay with me.. Mom is bedridden. I do the best I can for her and that is good enough :)
(0)
Report
Hi, my Mom passed away, it was a year July 15, 2012. My reverent prayer was to keep my Mama at home where she wanted to be, and God gave me the strength to do so. Over the course of the previous year Mama slept most of the time, she watched TV a lot(Hallmark), but she would engage everyone in conversation when awake, and she only had pain medication at night for her knees. She to was completely bedridden and income was low enough for her to be in a Nursing home, but I couldn't bear to see her in there, so it was more me than Mama. I was 68 years old, but in Good health, having worked in a nursing home in my 20's gave me a lot of experience working with the elderly, but like I said I needed and wanted to take care of my Mother, but the sleeping is normal. God Bless you in all your efforts!
(1)
Report
At one level I agree with Alss. Too many people ship off a loved one as soon as they hear the diagnosis of dementia. My mom is almost 91 and has Alzheimer's. I have been caring for her and my disabled brother for 4 years. It certainly isn't easy. It's what I not only need to do, but what I WANT to do.

I understand people have families, jobs and can't stay home to look after their loved ones. But, nursing homes cost a lot of money. IMO, that money could be better spent having somebody in during the day to care for him/her. Of course, not everyone can be placed in that same box. There are exceptions. But, I think we need to make it easier for home care. There aren't enough nursing homes and the ones available are under employed and over worked.

Mom sleeps almost all day. She'll be up long enough to eat, then doze off once again. My brother hates seeing her sleep and gives her a nudge if he's sitting beside her. I keep telling him not to wake her. If she wants to sleep, let her sleep. She's beyond the point of being interested in things, doesn't understand or follow anything on TV and her once favourite hobbies of reading, crocheting and baking have long gone by the wayside. She can't follow even the simplest of instructions.

I've had people ask me why I haven't put her in a nursing home. When I look at Mom, once a vibrant woman, who at 80 would climb a ladder to the roof to clean out the eavestroughs, all I see is a weak, wounded bird who needs my love, help and understanding.

IMO, putting her in a nursing home is only passing on the problem. As long as I am able, she'll be home where she belongs. She deserves better than to be shoved off onto people she doesn't know.
(2)
Report
we are heartbroken we want to take our mother from the nursing home but do not know what to do could we cope ect? please help she is 86
(0)
Report
you can see it in her she is not happy
(0)
Report
That is very normal, Pete sleeps all the time. He eats breakfast and then goes to sleep. Then lunch sleep, and Dinner sleep. But when I go home I think he stays up at nigth. Thats what the girls say at the assist living place where he lives. But he sleeps sitting up in the chair or in bed. It does not matter where he is. But the funny thing is most eldery do that, so she is fine.
(0)
Report
Nadia,
Can you make this a new question so we can help you decide what to do,
The original question we are discussing is about elders sleeping all the time. So if you can start over as a new question and give us more details about why your mother is in a nursing home, what is wrong with her and why you think she is unhappy. how many people in the family will help or if you can afford caregivers. one person can not do this alone
(1)
Report
My Dad is 81 and has late stage alzheimers. He naps a lot, he loves to be sitting up and napping but he is also happy to go to bed in the middle of the day for a nap too. We find that he is much clearer when he gets plenty of sleep and nap times. If he is forced to stay awake i.e. some misguided nurses - he becomes disorientated and stressed and the longer that goes on the harder it is for him to go to sleep. We find quite often that although he looks like he is asleep, he is still listening and he will pipe up if he finds something amusing. So don't feel bad if she wants to be quiet. I sometimes think that it is easier for dad to think when he has his eyes closed, he can dwell on whatever memory he is enjoying at the moment. Why shouldn't he be able to have some peace and quiet to do that.
(1)
Report
1 2 3
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter