My sister in law is Power of Attorney for her mother. Her mother now wished she had made my husband (her son) the POA, but she has now been diagnosed with dementia. My sister in law lives out of state and wants to go back home leaving us with the care of her mother. It will be hard to handle things with her still as POA. Are there any legal actions that we can take to get the POA.
I agree with S. If your sister wants to leave the state and go to another, then she'll either: a) have to give up POA or b) take her mom with her. It's a headache if she doesn't give up POA and she's in another state. She's not doing your mom any favors by keeping the title of POA. Do NOT, by any means, waiver (sp?) on your end.
Then... Mom is officially diagnosed with dementia, so cannot herself assign a new POA, me. Sister did willingly sign over POA, but by then the county sued for conservatorship...and when they do that they want both financial and health. So, see two snags, sister not willing to give up POA...and mother not competent to sign her own assignment of POA. Mom's wellbeing was in limbo for several weeks. Not good.
alot of people says i should be poa since dad is with me . well i dont think i could handle the stress dealin with legal matters and dad s bills plus takin care of him .
dad has his credit card if he wants to shop or i need to pay for his meds . dad always said let that baby boy pay for it .
its stress free !!! i am glad my brother is a poa ...
Although, I do like with S's advice, there are some questions you need to ask yourself
Where will you mother be happiest and get the best care?
Are you willing to accept responsibility for all of your mother's needs?
Will you be happy with your mother out-of-state?
There can be a split POA one for finances and one for health. If your mother's estate affords her care, then maybe having your sister take care of her finances would be one less burden if you decide to have her remain with you.
You must think about what's best for your well-being along with your mother's best chance to live out her life with dignity.
Take some time to decide how to proceed. Once again, I do like S's suggestion, but sometimes an ultimatum is not the best place to start a discussion
Mother can change the POA with or without Sister's consent. A diagnosis of dementia does not automatically mean the person is not competent to make legal decisions. Does Mother have lucid periods? Can she comprehend the topic of POA? If so, the simplest thing might be to contact the attorney who drew up the document, or another attorney of your choice and have mother make her wishes known.
As others have said, it is not necessarily the case that it is always best for the on-site caregiver to have POA, but if you think it is in this case, talk to a lawyer.
If this happens to you, it is expensive and time consuming. I would at least have her put you and your sister on the POA as alternates. It could save you alot of time, money and trouble.
And yes, this is as crazy a situation as I am in. Welcome to elder care.
My father has been emotionally abusive for length of their marriage. Also mentally unstable to care for her, he has a violent temper, we fear for her safety as well as emotional state.
She wants to live with my family where she is safe, healthy and happy.
How do we as her children deem her incompetent and my father unfit, so he doesn't have POW by marriage.
If Dad has been abusive the entire marriage, why is it just coming to a head now?
the authority to transact any business for your brother so maybe it is possible to designate a temporary alternate poa. It might be possible for you to sign a statement authorizing your niece to sign for you on behalf of your brother during a certain period of time...i.e. 1 yr. I don't know. Maybe not.. ..just an idea. Talk to an attorney about your options.
Everyone needs to work and make a living, so get mom into a facility, which should free you up so that you can look for work. Read here on Aging care about how being a caregiver is extremely deleterious towards your own financial stability. You don't need a place to stay-- you need a job, and health ins, pension, and a financial future so you can provide for your own needs. Do it, and feel proud that you have taken care of yourself, and your mom would be so proud of you too.