I have been taking care of my grandmother for 12 years with my mother before my mother passed away in 2009, and then now for 7 years with my sister. I feel like I don't have a break so I can have a life. How did it get to where people are saying things about how what I am doing is a good thing, when in fact they have no f**king idea what I deal with. They have no idea that I deal with a toxic and abusive person and yet they're free to come and go as they please, going on vacations and dates without so much as thinking about anyone else. I have not had a vacation since 2004 and yet anything I do to give myself some peace of mind is frowned upon. Since when did my happiness mean so little?
With that said, you need to get some time of your own. Either through respite care or a permanent placement in a facility for your grandmother.
Do you want to keep her with you or is there a choice for you?