1) Durable Power Of Attorney For Health Care...Can a person say what they want done with them before this situation happens? Say before I get Dementia or am in a Coma, can I say what I want done with me? Like "yes, due surgery needed while in a coma" or" keep me at home with dementia if I have money for all the caregiver or I choose a NH"? Without appointing anyone as Durable Power?
2) IS General Power Of Attorney the same as Primary Beneficiary especially with Residuary estate?
3) In the "Rules" I must follow in order to one day inherit the home I live in, there are 10 rules to obey.::( Am I overreacting- you should read the several pages of details)
A) No allowing my kids husband/wife to ever live here
B) If I remarry to the non father of my kids I have options to own the house proving perfect marriage 5 years and he has financial status as do I, If we move the house gets sold and not by our choice if kids are under 19...( by the "rules") or if I dont want to wait I may purchase the home at a slight discount etc etc.
C) Father of my kids never live here or inherit the home ( I agreed to this)
D) It Goes On and on what I must do, if a person or more dies etc.If I die and my kids are over 21 they are never aloud to have a roommate to help pay bills. it goes on and on.
So, I agree to protect my kids and my sibling and my dad the heck with me to keep the house. I have done everything they asked over the years just to be able to live here. No dating, No dating a man who is not white, go to school get a degree, no one lives there, etc. They have no trust in me with my decision making or it seems financially as Im not allowed to handle the money thats left for my kids even WITH an attorney for guidance!!! Which no matter what I chose to have one!!!
So this being said, In my last post I mentioned most of this. I was shocked when my grandpa said" Ill leave you one of the houses" I have kids of course I accepted! But my family is fighting over this with me, and sees me as being greedy because I think some of the "rules" are way of base and hurtful. I told them all at this point I will save up for a used mobile home just so I can keep peace in the family and I can try to save what family I have left. What would you do? Is me saying the heck with the house ( kids education money which is still being left to my aunt as the beneficiary ( with only a verbal agreement that she handle the education fees from it) the best thing to do? The day my grandpa dies, we will have 30 days to vacate the property because in my heart I feel we wont be allowed to live here esp with all this fighting going on. I can be homeless but I dont want my kids homeless.
How do I prove Im not the one whos greedy? And all these years I been caring for grandpa, as well as over full time now. I grew up believing we should mentally and physically care for each other. Where are they but getting upset who will hold the "power" after he dies saying its for my kids with no faith I will keep it for my kids.
Sorry to be so repetitive in my posts, but, I just never wanted to provide with any detailed info so my family doesn't have a fit Im airing dirty laundry. I lost my trust in most family and men, so of course im leery. I pray Im wrong. I pray Im being dumb. I love my Aunt, all my family and have only a handful left and I dont want to loose them over this. I hate this. Im not trying to be greedy but they see me that way because I dont agree on everything they say!
1. A Durable Power of Attorney addresses financial and legal issues. A Health Care POA a/k/a Health Care Proxy, a/k/a Living Will and probably a/k/a other titles addresses medical care that you may or may not want and may refuse.
When I drafted mine, I included a provision not to be kept alive if I became paralyzed. Of course, that was my intention, I didn't hire an attorney, so I'm not sure if an attorney would include such a provision. But it was my wish.
2. Got me on this one. I'm not even sure what a GPOA is in relation to a beneficiary. I'm not sure I've even seen a "Primary Beneficiary" designation in EP dox.
3. Rules - whose and what rules? Were these created by whoever holds the assets you may inherit? Who owns the home and how is it titled? Is the bequest in a Will or Trust? I don't know where the "several pages of details are" but that does sound like a lot of reading.
Honestly it seems to me that someone is going out of his/her way to create obstacles so eggregious that you won't want the house. And if it were me, I'd refuse to agree to anything that restrictive. But the question is whether you're in a position to find another place to live and whether or not you want to be literally tied up and legally trussed like a Thanksgiving turkey in order to inherit the house.
I don't know of any specific way to prove you're not "greedy" but query why you would have to prove this.
It seems there are some really intense family dynamics going on here and you're being put on the defensive, and that these dynamics are complicating a lot of relationships and personal issues.
Perhaps it's time to step back and sort out your priorities, with caring for your grandfather, and apparently soon your father, and put aside the family issues. Let them battle things out between themselves.
It's also time to focus on your life, career and plans for yourself.
You've written about getting a job; I see that you like animals. Perhaps you could start with a part-time job at one of the animal shelters or with a rescue group.
I know of someone who segued into a position with an animal shelter by creating his own animal care service, walking dogs and providing vacation care. That would give you some creds on your resume.