I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Call assisted living facilities in your mom’s area and have them send out brochures.
Place the brochures on the coffee table for him to see when he’s watching the Hallmark movies with your mom! Hee hee, 😛
Ob is good, and bucking up, he is just an the undiagnosed autistic, and a man. But he is doing good.
I am absolutely going to start pushing and hinting to mom that she can't go on like this forever, I think I have to start being more direct with mom about all this. Kind of like needs said. Instead of just pulling the plug all at once , but it is definitely coming to that day.
I know old brother is trying to keep her out of AL because he wants the house. Young brother, I have no clue what he wants. None of what they want is of interest to me. I want mom safe.
As far as being emergency contact, I think thats bs mom doesn't want me to be but then like way said maybe she is doing me a favor and if I do end up , throwing in the towel, I'm better of not .
Thanks a lot , for helping me work though all this messy crap.
Your mom’s house should be sold for her care. It isn’t your brother’s home.
Your brother should be concerned about your mom’s needs, rather than having his eye on her house. Is he the brother that has POA?
If you suspect that your mom has dementia, how capable is she of knowing what is best for her?
She may not agree to going to an assisted living facility. Her POA should be included in these conversations.
Try to stop making things so easy for your POA brother . Hopefully you can think of specific ways to dump some responsibilities on him . So far this is working out well for your brother which is why he’s not willing to do anything different .
Give him the next doctor appt date . Tell him you won’t be in town .
Since 2019, the year my bro fell ill I haven't had the guts to get the two buses, do the walk through a portion of the park (now closed to cars) just to GET to it, and then deal with the crowds and the cameras and all, but this year I talk myself into it.
I Arrive early, before "the ladies who do lunch". And after a round with the camera I have stamina for a second round without it, and THEN decide I can do one more exhibit yet a third time, one I really liked in a small gallery off to the side. Not knowing....................................
That way lies disaster.
So how it happens I cannot exactly tell you. I think BOTH of us mid 80s folk, me and the good doctor I took DOWN to the ground, were looking not where we were going or who was around, but at some spectacular floral arrangement.
I think we bounced off one another's shoulders. I think at 85 his balance was just four years worse than mine at 81 and he was the one who landed on the floor to the collective gasps of all.
Guards there immediately, taking the report, wheelchair called for, and his two KIND daughters comforting ME as much as him. (They were SO kind I could have sworn I was in the Midwest. Even in the South. ("We can see you're upset; is someone here with YOU? Would you like to come to lunch with us. These things happen. He will be fine. He's a doctor. Don't worry. Accidents happen. If you want to give me your number I will text you tomorrow to reassure you there's no damage done").
Meanwhile I cannot believe I just brought someone down to the floor in the middle of a crowded gallery, he has a small cut over his eye, he's hit his head and I am the one on AC daily admonishing you ALL that a fall is "often the beginning of the end". He cannot get up and is told not to try until the w/c comes. He is offered an ambulance and says he is fine, doesn't need that.
I just keep repeating "I am so sorry; I am so sorry".
I am telling you. I will be whining about this one for a while.
At least until I know he's OK.
Last thing the one daughter says to me is "I love your earrings; they are hand painted aren't they. They match your mask".
Yup. My home made earrings I haven't worn in years, worn now for this special celebration of my gutsy foray out into civilization.
Civilization is still there. And riskier than ever!
I arrived home to have N. telling Frieda the Foster "Your Foster mother just took down a DOCTOR, Frieda!" Take care.
I love your city. It’s beautiful and has so many interesting places to explore. I love Golden Gate Park.
The botanical garden there was lovely. It was the first time that I saw a black swan swimming in a pond. Gorgeous!
I have family in San Francisco and San Diego. My brother in law is a wonderful photographer, living in San Francisco and I have many photos of your area. I have a beautiful photo of your Palace of Fine Arts.
My cousin is a musician who lives in San Diego.
When I am visiting places I always ask the locals where to go. When we were in San Diego a man told us to visit the Museum of Man in Balboa Park. It’s a very nice museum! The name was later changed to Museum of Us. museumofus.org
I will tell you that the best museum here in my city is the WW11 museum on Magazine Street in the warehouse district. It’s phenomenal! Top notch museum nationalww2musuem.org
We also have a wonderful children’s museum. Louisiana Children’s Museum has relocated from the warehouse district to City Park. lcm.org
There a smaller museum in the French Quarter that is quite unique and fun to visit. It’s the New Orleans Pharmacy Museum, established in 1823. It’s on Chartres Street. pharmacymuseum.org
New York is a place to visit for museums! Love all of them.
Needs we almost went to the civil war museum, near the WW2 museum, but decided not to because the trolly was coming, which turned into the wrong trolley and we got a nice tour through the garden district 😊
The Garden District is lovely.
I don't think you appreciate what I DID in my own museum today.
You are giving me information on MORE MUSEUMS to go to.
Do you not understand that I have just taken down a doctor in my own museum.
It is entirely possible an ambulance is at this moment speeding away from the museum I just left with an all points bulletin listed for my apprehension.
And Nacy, while you may love the story, the entire gallery thought it quite appalling. I mean it was a massive collective gasp. A shocking sound. I was just lucky I did not take out this absolutely kind gentleman near one of those pillars with sharp edges. A platform. A precious painting. A massive flower display. Something WORSE.
I think you are underestimating the seriousness of my being allowed out and about in the city.
It's entirely possible I should be placed in facility care for the protections of "others".
That's ME! What about the good Doctor?
Your mishap sounds awful! It could have been ended even worse than it did. That must have been horribly shocking for you and those around you.
When I read the first sentence about your favorite museum, did you ask, ‘what’s yours?’ and then delete it? I thought I read that and that’s why I was posting about other museums.
Glad that the chicken revived you! Enjoy your chocolate! I’m glad that you’re okay.
have some potato chips too .
Glad you are Ok.
No guilt . It was an accident . For all you know the good doctor may be saying in his own head that he should not have gone out today either . But that’s silly because most falls happen at home anyway.
His daughters were taken that he's a doctor and I a nurse. I told them we are, nevertheless, no good together on the dance floor.
The daughters were so incredibly kind. One was hugging me.
And need, nope, I didn't write "what's yours!". I think that no museum will let me in for a while. I am likely on a nationwide banned list for now.
WaytoMisery, I will take you up on the chips. I just happen to have some T-Joe classics.
Geeeeez, Golden was complaining about her vertical blinds on her patio door falling down today, which is a nuisance but it pales in comparison to your event!
Okay, I misread the post then. My fault.
Go to Trader Joe’s and stock up on your favorites! Trader Joe’s has a great cheese selection too!
It’s been one of those weeks I guess .
My husband took out a deer with the car two days ago . DH never even saw it coming .
I think that's what you said. Now I'm questioning my reading skills, as I am most likely undiagnosed dyslexic.
Which actually Alve you where talking about reddit the other day, have you had any better luck with it.
I went on a dyslexic page, haven't posted anything , just reading others but Gotta tell ya, it's kind of funny reading a group of dyslexics talking, and I have a lot of Ahhh moments.
Again so sorry about your day, and my mix up. And it's so nice to know there really are a lot of good people left in this crazy world
My younger brother hit a deer when he was living in North Carolina. He felt horrible about the deer. They do cause a lot of damage to a car when hit.
I had mentioned that I had done Trader Joe shop one day (requires a bus there; then I shop; divide up groceries in two bags and walk a good distance downhill with the bags--my cardiac workout). THEN gardening for hours, and noticed stepping on the uneven flagstones it was throwing my balance. Yes, stamina goes down. I pride myself that I was the one still standing, in my latest, however, ha ha. Remember, I wasn't the one to go down here; I simply took the good doctor out.
My Reddit story was asking cwillie, who's a fan, why she likes R. because I had some very odd questions and answers on it. I think that was more a yahoo news flash on some of the funnier postings from Reddit. cwillie says that any number of them are quite sane there, and she likes it overall. I have never really tried it. Facebook, AC, and Nextdoor (minimally) are about all I can do, as staying on the computer too much will add to spinal stenosis!
I will update all when I know the good doctor is OK (he's likely muttering "GD nurses! Always a pain; never watch where they're going!" And I wouldn't blame him a bit.)
Trader Joe is the only shopping trip I do on my own. If we do Safeway (which I dislike and seldom do except to stock up on Rao's sauce on sale--arrabriata hot) or Costco we do it together and with the car. I no longer drive. Do the buses but N. still does drive. I am lucky in not driving as I am more active and more on my feet because of it.
I wear comfy shoes when I walk now.
Sometimes, I think about when I was young and walked all over in high heels! 👠 Never bothered me.
Youth! We could do so many things when we were young. I walked all over. Rode the buses and street cars, rode my bicycle for miles and miles.
I don’t remember even getting very tired when I was young. When we are young, we are in great shape.
At 68 years old now, there is no way that I am wearing high heels anymore!
I need to wear them for pictures , I’m short .
I can see wearing them for special occasions when we are dressed up, just not on a daily basis. I am short too.
And flip flops in the summer. I lived in those as a kid. Now, I hate something in between my toes like that. 😝
Some flip flops are really fancy now. They are cute. My youngest daughter has some cute ones.
The good doctor has a few years on you, and is likely saying:
"I don't know what happened. One minute I was reaching out to grab this beautiful younger woman in yellow, like a flowery vision, and the next I'm on the floor!" "Do you think she smacked me?"
So, Alva.
No one has banned you, no one will be taking you away (even though that would be the easy way out of aging).
You collided, along with an elderly 85 y.o. man, who was a doctor, and he fell.
You were being very brave just to go on this outing, and remembering it has been a long time since your brother was ill, and passed--since you were able to attend this favourite event.
Ah, I see now that you did not go down?
In the meantime, take a rest commensurate with the age you are feeling like right now. Be kinder to yourself-an accident that was no one's fault.
You will still have carefree moments, times you may feel younger than today!
It's not over for you.
Let us know how you are doing later, and tomorrow. Thanks for telling us, who care, about your crowded museum incident.
And, of course, we care about the good doctor too.
Next time, take a taxi home, not a bus. You are worth it, imo.
Hugs, many hugs.
I bought a pair when we had the covid relief money, or probably never would have, but now In the summer that is the only thing I wear.
Except for a wedding or funeral
No , I normally wear a sandal with a small one inch wedge for my back .