I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
One has to remember when it comes to gardeners/landscapers, they have a tight schedule and if it rains that pushes their schedules back. Off season is the best time to schedule mulching or any type of one time yard work.
Hospice is focused on keeping the patient at home and not interveening more than is necessary. Nurses come to hospice for many reasons and from many different backgrounds. people rarely enter nursing because they have a strong disire to care for the dying. This means that although they have the same basic training they have experience in many different area and may be expert in one thing and really understand the disease your loved one has while another nurse may have spent their entire career as an ER nurse. Eventually they will become expert hospice nurses to as long as they can tolerate the high rate of burn out.
Susan mom may indeed nedd her oxygen raised but their could be other reasons for her memory loss so her oxygen saturation level should be tested before simply asking for an incraese in the oxygen. If you have a nurse visiting they should be able to do this for you. Yoou can keep an eye on this yourself if you buy one of the little meters. they cost about $15 in Walmart. A healthy person should be in the mid 90s but someone who has COPD can manage a lot lower than that. Try and keep Mom in a position so that she can breath easily. She needs to sit up straight not lumped over. A pillow behind the back can help at home and in the car. Raise the head of the bed at night or have her sleep in a recliner. Have her do deep breathing exercises too and not sit aound in stuffy rooms
That comment from the Medical Director… eeeuw. I mean, you don't want doctors to get all jargon-y and technical and pompous on you, but I think actual flippancy is taking it too far. Crap shoot? Nice..! :/
Susan's post should be a real help, yes? Good to hear what to expect from someone who's been there.
I understand your frustration with hospice. Keep talking to them, though, because you are on the same side. It's just that you're taking a more active approach to keeping him comfortable, they're focusing on guiding him in as gently as they can and minimising intervention - you're both right, you just need to find a balance that everybody's happy with.
But whatever anyone does, this is a very hard time for you. Take care of yourself, too (e.g. if you can't stand cigarettes, don't put up with them - and that's coming from a committed smoker!). Big hug.
My ex-husband's parents moved in with us years ago when we were still married and his dad was dying of lung cancer and COPD. When his oxygen levels would drop below a certain point (even with a nasal canula or oxygen mask on - they can only do so much when the disease reaches the advanced stage), he would start with the odd paranoia. I was usually the target - not sure why. At various times, I was (according to him): a witch, because I'd put a spell on his wife so that she wouldn't listen to him or do what he said....I had married his son for his money (yeah right!)...I was a prostitute....I was trying to kill him by poisoning his food....I was hiding his wife from him...and more than once, he threatened to shoot me. Once his oxygen levels came back up a bit, and he was feeling better, I was the nicest person in the world, best thing that ever happened to his son, he loved me and knew I was taking good care of them, etc....it was a real roller coaster. I learned to just roll with the punches, so to speak, and play along when it got bad. When he accused me of being a witch and putting a spell on his wife, and told me to take it off, I said I would. I left the room, walked up to my MIL and said, "Hey, Momma...BOOGADABOOGADABOO!!" - she looked at me like I had two heads and asked what in the world I was doing - I told her I was removing the spell so Daddy (my FIL) would be happy again. She just laughed and laughed. I went back and told him I'd done what he asked and he said, "Good. Now we're ok again."
You may want to check with your dad's doctors on this and see if there's something that can be done, although it sounds like you're doing all you can at this point. This may just be something you have to deal with as part of the process.
You see, if you had an evil sense of humour, you might be tempted to encourage her to go ahead and do that. I'm tickled by the idea of DMV bureaucrats getting a bit fat writ dumped on them - can you just picture the kerfuffle in the office? Even better, take her to deliver it in person. Oh come on! - this could be FUN..!
Holiday? How in the word can one get a Holiday???? waaaahhhhhhhhhhh
My Holiday is my blow-up pool
My whine......... came home to chaos just chaos she was sitting in the room watching tv telling me she had cleaned the whole house while i was out "having fun" I spent 2hours having lunch with friend then 5 hours waiting for HER perscription!! then home to well looked like burgalry thats the only way to describe it? couldnt find garbage bin? well silly me its at the end of the garden???? oh my god please give me the patience i need to deal with this i didnt clean up i went and had a bath and cried!
Im not getting up tom i dont want to get up until the cleaning lady arrives on friday!! I am going on holidays in 3wks and wonder if ill make it.
Gosh front room with her clothes EVERYWHERE? she was sorting them out AGAIN.
Deep breaths and big brown paper bag OR crystal meth oh how i wish i had just stayed in resto and got very very drunk!
Oh--I'll gripe about how I then had to drive 1/2 hour each way to pick up 80 lbs of gravel to redo her front walk area, and then lay it all down myself in 100 degree heat, because I guess her gardeners won't do that. Why wouldn't they do that sort of thing when they work in a community full of frail, elderly people?
Talking is miss mash without dentures and hearing is the same without hearing aides here! This combination happened this AM. After the second 'what did you say', the reply came out a shout and still incomprehensible.
Being early in the morning, I just turned around and left the room. I did not want our dog to go and hide again during an argument.. LOL
Apparently it was not important. We did not speak during his breakfast - not unusual. All he can talk about is his 'condition' and what we can do about it. There are only so many words to express, 'Not much...'
So, I come here and whine while comforting the dog, etc. We both talk more to our lovable dog than we do to each other these days.
We do whatever works for us in any situation and we are exonerated by all here - right? That's why we come, along with the blessings and good wishes...
I don't know how to respond to that. She can be soo hateful .
I hate the hour drive in Chicago traffic up 94 and across 290 to get to the Jesse Brown VA facility. Every time I make that trip, including today, I just feel worn out by the end of it all.
Kaz.... I agree, this is getting scary. She's been on a roll all evening....ranting/raving, talking about bashing people's heads in. I don't think I shall sleep well tonight.