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I was out yesterday and saw a huge RV drive by and was so jealous! All I could think about was how my bro what probably at his vacation home up north and I'm stuck here!

My SIL called to see what we were doing this weekend..
I just told her today was Mom's bday and we were going out, if I try to get together with her she'll have to come here. Then I'll have to do the bbqing and I just don't have it in me!
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ugh, the Holiday weekend for sure has put me in the "whine" mode. Everyone I know is going somewhere, doing something, with someone...Either going on or planning vacations, having cookouts, family is all traveling...everywhere..except here....as usual it will be Mama and me. period. heard the nephew was somewhere but no mention they are coming...if they do it will be a pop in long enough to alleviate your guilt and move on visit...sadly, I'd just as soon they forget it now...it's too late...for me the damage is done
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I think the long Holiday weekend coming up has me in whine mode. I see campers/trailers/RVs all packing up and heading out... I want to go somewhere fun :( but I don't want to go alone :(((

My oldest brother just sent me a text saying he'd watch mom tomorrow...I can't refuse that offer now can I ? I just wish I had something fun to go do and someone fun to do it with.

What most likely will end up happening is me doing a thorough clean in her room and the house while she's out... it's so hard to do when she's following me around redoing what I just did.
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Thanks Overwhelm!
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lost my temper with my dad today. First he was up and dressed by 6:15. Didnt have a chance to enjoy my coffee. Asked him why up so early as it used to be 8-8:30. Perhaps since windows open a bit and he hears the birds? Anyhow had to finish plant shopping for my customers. Carried the flats put of trunk except for one that I soryed out for a customer I was going to plant this am. Carried unwanted ones to my potting shed and sorted out some others I had there to take to customer and when I went to put in trunk they were gone. I had told my dad to go in house and wait 15-20 min so I could get my planted sorted and car loaded then he could come with me but no he is messing with a tarp I put by car and did not know where plants went. I looked in open garage, the house over 20 min before I found the flat on the patio. He of course doesn't remember putting them there. I still haven't found the small bag of grass seed I bought monday either. ack!!!!
Good news is he is going to respite care next friday for the weekend and I just hired a girl to dad sit on occasional weekends so that will help.
The wine also helps!:)
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Hi SusaA43 you were having a really rough day that happens to me to soon I sit down I hear her getting up! Sending you lots of love, music is the best it helps me mellow 70's. station is my favorite.
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I love this forum.I hate to "whine" because so many others on here have it so much worse than me and handle things with grace.However,here is my whining today. I have now had to remove all meds from my mothers room due to her depressing behavior and emotional outbursts,basically temper tantrums. Not afraid of her committing suicide, she loves herself to much, just felt better removing them from her room. Well , this now adds one more thing I have to do for her.Also apparently I never do anything right. I guess I am just having compassion burnout. I have seen so many other people in much worse circumstances than her. I guess that is one of the problem's. She has never really seen how bad things can get for a senior when they have no one that can take care of them or even care about them. I am an only child and at firstthought that was a bad thing but after reading so many of the stories on this site I am beginning to see that being an only child might not be so bad.She doesn't have dementia, she is just a controlling narcissistic person and now because of old age and health problems can no longer control,just yell about it. I do get tired of her whining, just this week I took her to 3 MD appointments. She sees the MD more than I do. If I ever get as old as her I just hope I remember to thank anyone who does anything for me and if I am in my right mind to be realistic about old age. We are all aging and dying, no one is getting any younger. Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die.Caregivers take care of yourselves.
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I'm whining about the weather this morning. It's dank and dark and dreary and putting me in a crappy frame of mind. Meh.

Jeannette - what dose has the neurologist put your mom on? MIL has been taking Seroquel for a little over a year now and it's been very helpful. Her neurologist started her out on a VERY low dose - just 12.5 mg at bedtime to see how she'd tolerate it, and she did great. If the dose is fairly low to start with give it a try, keep a close watch for any aberrant behaviors, and see how it goes. I've read some negative stuff about it too, but everyone is different. Just wanted to share a positive one.

book - if there was ever a legitimate excuse to whine you've found it!! YUCK!!!!!!!
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My first whine here...it's been bugging me for weeks.
For someone who works full time and does the "dirty" work of changing pampers by herself, I am soooo tired of cleaning the darn toilet bowl! I can clean it today, and then when I come home for lunch the next day, someone (not dad) did #2 and did not flush twice so that all of it goes away. Now poop is stuck on the bowl that's above the water level. A few days of trying to not to clean the bowl (hoping sis would do it since I didn't make that mess), I cave in. I come home the next day at the end of work, and...the toilet bowl is back with the poop stuck on the sides. Tonight, I'm cleaning the toilet again.

Why?!?! Why do grown ups (including my nieces and their spouses) do not flush twice to get the poop off the wall? If that doesn't work, there's like 2 plastic sponge bath tubs and 2 tupperware bowls that can be used to "help" rinse the poop down when you flush it the 3rd time. Am I the only one in this family who gets grossed out over seeing poop on the side walls of the toilet bowl????
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2 Days ago I took Mom to her Neurologist Appt. The Neuro prescribed Seroquel. It is now Thursday and their so called "Escript to our pharmacy has not come through. Two phone calls later... they just called. The script was routed 400 miles away.

That alone gives me the heebiejeebies about Seriquel ... I read up about in on AC. :( i can pick it up tomorrow.. we shall see.

I am not happy about this. It's just the "Sundowners" and the occasional outburst. Really... Im not sure about drugging her up. Crud!
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Iwill search online about the lenovo
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Glad- if I type a word not familiar to the kindle it will give me the option to double tap it to put in my dictionary. But if I type in a hurry without proofreading words get changed. I would like a tablet though. I think it would be easier.
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SM this lenovo tablet is so cool. Absolutely no auto correct, rather it tries to figure out what I am typing and will make suggestions that I can tap to enter a word.
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Sorry my kindle and autocorrect.
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Yaya-have you the ads for art security? You could have a security system put in where you can check the house online or on your cell. The ad shows patents checking on their tern age daughter making sure she has no boys over LOL! You pay an installation fee and a monthly payment. There was another poster who lived with her mother with dementia. She installed cameras so she could get a little time to herself but still see what her mom was doing.
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Oh, yaya you have to see that movie. LOL There are 2 of them actually - Grumpy Old Men and Grumpier Old Men. Both have Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon and Burgess Meredith in them, and Ann-Margaret is in the first one, Sophia Loren is in the second. Both hilarious and heartwarming movies.

Oh the tricks they played on each other...holy cow.
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Jeannette and Susan - I'm dying here! LOL! Haven't seen the movie but I can picture the scene.

Unfortunately (in more ways than one..heheh) the distance would probably be too far for it to work. We're about 1/4 mile from her with woods in between houses. Plus she has no internet/wifi service, nor can she afford it. A great idea though!

I've thought more than once about how helpful it would be to have some kind of video suveillance system setup - like a nanny cam. But aside from grappling with the moral/ethical reservations I have over "spying" on her, the cost of setting something like that up would probably be prohibitive. *sigh*

The "evil" side of me, however, does find the entertainment potential intriguing......
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LOL!!! Exactly! Just saw it the other day.... ZAP, channel changed - ZAP - ZAP. one of my fav shows!

You can open your garage door, turn lights on, tv, water etc... all from wherever in the world you are to your house. Hmmm.... it might just be something to look into... for several reasons ;)
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Jeanette - your comment about the remote for yaya's MIL reminds me of the movie Grumpy Old Men - ever see it? I'm thinking specifically of the scene where one of them has a tv remote and keeps switching the other's tv as he's trying to catch the lottery numbers (they live next door to each other). LOL

Could be helpful to yaya but could also be an evil, vindictive way to drive MIL nuts.
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Thank you so much, Jeanette! I have so many stories to tell, but finding the time is the problem. If I ever find the time, I'll probably be too old to remember them.

Guess I better start writing soon.
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Susan, can't wait to read those amazing 2 accomplishments!! Your writing is awesome. Really, I love reading your posts! If only I could get my thoughts out into words....mine seem to stay as brilliant thoughts in my head and confused jumbling when I try and write it out.

Yaya, how far does MIL live? I bet you can find some sort of remote control App that can be installed and then you'd just have to push a button and voila' TV is on again...all from the comfort of your own bed!!
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OH my goodness, yaya! That must be maddening.

Thanks for the compliment. I'm a frustrated writer with no time to write. LOL I have a million stories inside my head just clamoring for release, but no time to put them down. One of these days...

Amazingly, I have 2 accomplishments to post to Captain's thread today. Immediately after I posted my whine above, 2 amazing things happened. I'll have to share them later.
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Susan - Love it! Hilarious and well written!........and I feel your pain.

My whine for today.....getting called at 2:00 AM not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES in a row (our hellos never got a response) as hubs and I are scrambling to wake up, get dressed (more or less), grab the car keys, run out to the car in the dark of night and race over to MIL's....adrenaline pumping....questions racing through out minds - did she fall out of bed? Is she hurt?....only to get there and find her lying peacefully, calmly in her bed. What's wrong? hubs asks her. "My TV went off. I can't get it turned back on again." REALLY??!!!

I confess...I lost it a little. I'll appologize to her later, but her HHA comes to wash and dress her this morning so for now I'm going to just sit here and enjoy my coffee (and my rant) and attempt to collect myself.

Then maybe later, after I apologize, I'll post it as my "Accomplishment" for today on Captain's thread.
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(while the above was written in jest, I'm sure you get the picture. )
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I am starting to feel like a prisoner keeping a diary...

Day 4
Captor refuses to shower. House reeks of b.o. and urine, and whenever she moves (which is rarely), the intense odor increases, causing me to nearly gag. I try to open windows to increase ventilation - she counters this move by demanding I close them and turn the heat up, thereby stifling me in this odorous, closed-in space. She sees my discomfort but says nothing - heartless. She constantly increases the volume on the television, making it impossible to concentrate on anything - and when I am able to gain control of the remote and turn it down (or off) when she's sleeping, she wakes up and insists I turn it back on - or that I turn it back up - and then goes back to sleep! Torture. There must be a law against this sort of treatment.

She sleeps...but wakes immediately upon my having completed a task and returned to my seat to begin my work....and demands that I get back up and retrieve something for her from the next room, or make her a snack - things she could easily do herself, but requires of me instead.

I must escape. But how? I have no allies, no confidants who will come to my aid. They abandoned me when I entered this place, saying they had lives of their own and couldn't help me. I cannot even count on my government to intervene on my behalf.

I must remain strong. I will.
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I don't want to go to work tomorrow.
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To all the ranters and ravers out there! I SO HEAR YOU ALL!! I feel guilty when I get upset with dad due to not showering, always wanting something just as I have to go to work or am in the middle of something. I am so sick of Fox news all day long or the old westerns he watches and when I find something I like he talks thru the entire program! Told him he will have a room w/tv, fridge and all the necesseties so I can have some semblance of life also. He is dying and once we get to our new place I think he will give up. I'm sure he sees how hard I work and feels he's a burden..he is but its what I have to do and its really not as bad as it sounds sometimes. I am overly stressed, need ME time and some sort of outside fun because this is so frustrating to watch someone who is so sick smoke & drink & not eat well though there is plenty of good food around. He is lazy & chauvinistic...always has been. But my pity side is with him and I try to do the best I can. Would go outside & scream but neighbors would come running!! LOL! So, its ok to complain and feel burdened but its not ok to ignore their needs and that's what makes it frustrating because they are sooooo needy and incapacitated to care for themselves. I will be sad when hes gone but will be grateful I was able to be here when no one else would. Its such a 2 sided thing this caregiving. Told my kids to put me in a home or if I get that bad just know I will go out into the woods and end it, saving everyone a lot of pain & frustration. Hang in there everyone cuz one day we will miss them terribly! Love and Hugs to all!!
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Showers are a real problem here too. My husband grew up with a sister who monopolized the only bathroom. Mom and Grandma used the kitchen and the three males in the family used a makeshift garden hose shower and the laundry tubs in the basement.

Not too much incentive for the guys to be too particular. Thus, my husband never really liked a shower and used the hand bowl for most of his cleanliness. Now, I can just barely get him to do that. And a bath or shower - heaven forbid. "I haven't done anything to get dirty - why a shower so often (like once a week, at most?)

I am responsible for keeping the nether regions clean due to lack of control and poor balance, but a complete bath with shampoo - never without complaint. It's gotta' be today - putting my foot down! There! Now, I'm committed....
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ARRRGHHH. I have been trying *very* hard to remain upbeat lately, but when my workload increases, the dishes pile up (because the workload increased), the laundry piles up, the dog bugging to be let out 10 times a day, the cat bugging me for treats, and then MOM having this uncanny ability to either want something or wake up from a nap and need something at the very moment I've just sat down and settled into work....EEEEEEEK! My temper is *very* short today and I'm really wanting to just lock myself in my room with my laptop so I can get some work done! (That would work, but then I'd be staring at the pile of laundry, because I sleep in the spare bedroom/laundry room.)

(sigh) ok. Rant over. Time to put on my headphones, turn on some music and try to make a dent in this pile of work. Oh wait...what's that smell....darn. Oh gee...it's Mom...again. Shower day was yesterday, and she still hasn't showered and resists all gentle nudging by me to do so. Time to play the bad guy again - which I HATE - and tell her the smell is bad in the house and she is the source. :-( It's effective - usually gets her to shower and she exclaims how much better she feels afterwards - but just getting her to do it...ugh.
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