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On my mind? So much. Shock of my life not because of cost but what is provided in apparently good AL.
My husband is going next month to private facility and cost is astronomical. Over $5,000 which more likely will be $6,000 or more.
The problem is how much actual care is provided in that price?
None. Just apartment and meals. Everything is extra!
There is “menu” to choose from additional services, meds, night check etc. each about $400 per month which I think to begin with will be another $2,000 per month.
But monthly payment from each resident contributes to salaries for aides and people don’t receive anything?
Any thoughts of safety concerns in AL?
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Oh hothouse. I hope so too. Trust his driving went ok.

way. How’s your sis doing?
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My husband is driving the first time by himself since his stroke. I’m a little nervous and I put an Apple tag in the car. Feel a little guilty about it but don’t want to be over protective. I’ve driven with him and he’s okay.

Im grateful he is physically okay but I have to say he’s been in a bad mood a lot. He was always obsessive about certain things but I’m finding situations have come up these past two weeks where he’s been over the top. I know this was traumatic for him and I am really trying to be kind and understanding. . I’m glad to have him here with me but I hope he goes back to how he was before.

i read about it, it is normal and it could be temporary or not. Time will tell.
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Oh way.. That's so dreadful for your nephew. I understand why you are concerned and why he is stressed out. The system is failing him and his mother. What happens to her if he breaks down? They will find a solution,. It shouldn't come to that.
I'm glad they found rehabs when he stood his ground and understand his worries about running out of money. I gather the state offers nothing to help those needing memory care who do not have finances. - it means the family must do the caring. That's very hard - too hard!!!
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Golden ,

Yeah they give her meds , they should give it regularly though at bedtime rather than waiting for her to get agitated .

They tried to tell nephew today that PT , OT said she could go home with care set up . Nephew told them absolutely not , that she goes to rehab for now at least . He told them she’s still too confused for him to deal with her delusions . Shes accusing him of wasting her money again from when she was at the board and care home , which last time triggered an investigation when she called the Agency of Aging to complain . Of course there was no wrong doing . He told the social worker today at the hospital that he has to work and she can’t be home alone . So Hmmm , miracle , they found 3 rehab places for nephew to choose from . He doesn’t know what to do about her . But nephew says if she doesn’t improve she will need memory care which is very expensive and risks running out of money . She’s walking with help and a walker and feeding herself , so SNF is not an option. Imo she needs memory care even if she improves somewhat but I understand nephews reasons for trying to put it off some .,
He is distraught , he said he can’t live with her when she’s like this but he’s afraid of placing her in memory care and running out of money . I am very concerned about my nephew, he’s very stressed out .
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Way -that's so frustrating. Are there any meds that will help? There comes a point when none of the options are ideal.
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This really belongs on the whine thread .
Sis is bonkers every night, delerium . Not able to find a rehab willing to take her just yet ..
Social worker was vague said there are a limited number of available beds .

Reading between the lines . The facilities are choosing a less difficult patient . Can’t blame them .
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Way - the disease progresses so AL is likely not going to work any more. I'm so sorry for what you and your nephew are going through.
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Golden .
Thanks . The AL she was in was a very affordable board and care home . We do not think she could go back there . She most likely would need at least memory care .
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Way, Thank for the update. Such a difficult situation with there possibly not being enough resources for her proper care. I hope she qualifies for SNF this time. I know this is stressing you. Prayers and (((((hugs)))).
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Golden ,

Sis is going to rehab . Nephew is at the end of his rope . Because of her last unexpected really good rally last year that ended up in her leaving AL and coming back home , nephew is afraid another decent rally may happen again.
He’s hesistant about memory care because of the fear of running out of her money . Medicaid only pays for SNF in my state ( and others). So we are down to hoping she either doesn’t walk or isn’t feeding herself so she can be placed in SNF . Although she has chronic issues of hypothermia which my nephew keeps an eye on at home and all that can be done is heated blankets , drink warm liquids .
A very low temperature that was not improving is why she was brought to the hospital again . I told nephew to ask if the chronic hypothermia would qualify her for skilled nursing. We will see .
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(((((way)))) what's happened with your sister. I hope she is finally in a facility for good.

gershun - I have had that sort of thing -a sense to take an alternate route. I believe the Lord is directing us for a purpose.

lu -lots of questions. Maybe we will know the answers when we get there.

I believe dreams have a significance, but that's not always easy to figure out.

Finally got rid of that sinus infection, I think! Nice to see the days getting longer. ☀️
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I hear ya Gershun~I have alot of questions for Him and things to tell my Mom too~
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Thx Lu, I felt this knowing feeling as I walked up the different street. I usually get
this feeling after thinking that God has guided me. So only God knows but maybe what I felt was right.

So many things to ask God one day. :)
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Gershun,It doesn't sound stupid at all.
Maybe what you thought ,that God compelled you was right,
Only He knows~
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This may sound stupid but when I go on my daily walks I usually go the same route.

Yesterday I was praying as I walked and decided suddenly that I'd go a different route. Later, I thought about it and thought that God had compelled me to go up a different street.

So, maybe my dream and God were trying to tell me something. Who knows.
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@Gershun

I think when a dead loved one visits in a dream and it's some mundane activity like doing laundry, it's to let you know they're good and just stopping by. I have dreams about my late ex-husband who's been gone now 24 years. In them he looks like he did before he was sick. I can see his motorycle somewhere in the dream every time and he's doing some mundane task like fixing something on it. I have a recurring dream of him bringing the garbage cans up from the curb like he used to. We lived in a multi-family house. He took out everyone's garbage and always brought the cans back up too. Sometimes I'll have a dream that he's bringing the garbage cans in where I live now. Or he's pulling in the driveway on his bike. I think your mom and brother are just stopping by and visiting you.

@waytomisery

I hope for you and your family's sake that your sister gets placed this time. It will be a relief.

@ArtistDaughter

That was a nightmare about your mom going out for the walk alone. Sometimes when we have nightmares full of stress and worry, it's because our minds need to take out the trash and tidy the place up from time to time. Our mind is clearing out the stress, anxiety, fear, etc...
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Lu, it was nice to see my mom and brother. I seldom dream of either of them anymore. I've lost two brothers now. It was my eldest brother I dreamt of last night. He died so young. He was only 57.

But, it is always nice to see them.

The dreams probably don't mean anything.
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idk if dreams mean anything either Gershun,but Iv'e been dreaming some weird dreams lately and I wonder where they came from.
I bet it was nice to see your Mother and brother in your dreams though.
When I dreamed about my Dad,I felt like we'd been together and it was just great to see him.
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I had dreams of my deceased mom and brother last night. I was doing laundry
and it started to overflow. My mom came over to help and said "you are too preoccupied" Then I realized I'd put the clothes in the washer still on the hangers.

Then I dreamt I was coming home from a long walk in the snow and my brother said "how do you walk so long?"

Not sure what those dreams mean, if anything.
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Well , sis ended up in the hospital last night . More of the same already on the first day of the new year .
I’m hoping for my nephew’s sake , it leads to permanent placement this time . He’s exhausted . 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
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My dream last night was about my mom. She's been gone from the planet for 4 years, but ever present in my mind and dreams. This time: I come home and ask the people there (presumably family members but not specified in the dream) where Mom is. They say she went for a walk and I ask if she went by herself. They say yes, suddenly realizing that it was wrong of them to allow it. I run out the door to find her in a panic..... I wake up and am reminded of the caregiving stress for all those years. Life is more peaceful now, but I miss her.
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Happy New Year, everyone. While I am not a fan of Christmas (except for the decorations) I sure am of the New Year. It is always "hopeful" for me (until I switch over to saying "This is an AWFUL year!!!!")

I want to wish EVERYONE HERE the BEST OF HEALTH in this coming year. Y'all are STRONG, and with health, you can handle ANYTHING ELSE!
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A Happy and Healthy New Year to all on this site. It's tough navigating caregiving and I am grateful you are all here offering support.
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Happy New Year present and past caregiver's!
I hope the new year ahead is a good one for all of you~
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Happy New Year 2026.
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Happy New Year!!! All the best for all the best people!!!🎉🎊❄️🎄🎈
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Happy New Year 🎊🎉🎆🥳 😴

Happy 🥰🛶⏰👩‍🎓🏄🚴‍♀️🧑‍🍳🎣🏫😴📖🏊‍♀️🏃‍♀️🚢🗓️⛪️🏥👩‍🌾🧘‍♀️ 💃 🎂 days and Restful Nights.
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HAPPY NEW YEAR 2026!!!!
🍀🌈🌟🙂
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Merry Christmas! 🎄
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