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"On my mind". People are living longer and longer. Needing more and more care.

There just needs to be some kind of changes in the world to help or accommodate that.

And much much more understanding, that those of us in are 60s should not be doing this until we are in are 70s or 80s .

Times have changed, things really need to change with it.

My parents where in the sandwich generation, young kids aging parents. But that seems to be going away. Now it's retired, grandparents taking care of there parents. I'm not sure what this is called.

My mom lives in an old neighborhood, moms 88 almost 89, there are 5 women in her neighborhood above 90. There all holding out , because they don't want to be next, waiting to see who is next. With 70 year olds taking care of them.

I remember about 20 years ago, I had to go to the foot doctor. I was sitting there , this very angry looking over 70 year old was pushing a very frail mother. I remember thinking , I don't want that to be me. Then one day I realized this is who I am becoming.

Joined this forum and made changes.

Just venting out some thoughts
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I read today advice (not on the site) to say ‘no’ – just by itself. It said that ‘no’ plus an explanation invites a discussion or an argument, ‘no’ is just ‘no’. I thought, nicely put!
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Hello!

Here is Hello Karma. For those waiting for me, I'm on my way. Have been held up with bad weather (this is not an excuse; there really has been bad weather for thousands of years). Just wait and see. Bad people will be punished. Many caregivers are abused, taken advantage of, exploited. Especially women. Women tend to be more exploitable. If you're a woman, be careful: act in your best interests.

(If it would be too obvious I exist, bad people would pretend to be little angels). I haven't been on AC for a long time. Sometimes I take a look. Has it ever happened to you, someone clicks "like" on a post you wrote years ago, and then all the memories come back how you were doing at the time? Some of us are in the same place we were years ago. Some of us radically changed since then.

Anyway I just want you to know, karma is watching. The list is long. It'll take me a while.

Sincerely yours,

Karma
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Gershun,
Thanks for that song.
I did not recognize it by the title, or the artists, or the lyrics.
Listening, yes, I have heard it before.
Nice.
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Same here Beatty.😪

Wistful tears.
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That song makes me cry 😢. But in a good way.
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This conversation brings to mind a song by Mike and the Mechanics titled The Living Years.

The first verse:

Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door

A beautiful song actually.
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Every generation trashes the next one. It’s almost comical. Those who talk trash had better not ask their kids nor grandkids to set up their new computer!

Llama, I hope you and your husband’s health situation is improving.
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Sendhelp just described my manipulative mother in law. My children won’t even visit the horrible woman who interrogates, criticizes , tries to force her views on us , and brow beat because she thinks she’s entitled to great grand children. Luckily , my kids are on to her . And she won’t control me . I learned my lesson after dealing with my narcissist of a mother since I was a child .
My father in law was another selfish manipulator .
The only one of our 4 parents that wasn’t at all like that was my Dad .

Sometimes the caregiver is the one trying to resist being controlled by the narcissists .
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Knowing certain things can help a person remain independent in their thinking.
No one here misses the absence of dates on posts?
Because "times are changing" "things are changing" and "we can't stop it"?

It is not important? Have you ever entered to search for an update on "fire" or "earthquake" news, and found you have been reading about an earthquake two years ago? (The date is important.)

Mind control (also known as brainwashing, coercive persuasion or thought control) refers to the way some people have tried to control the beliefs and behaviours of others (of any age, any generation).
It is a process where a group or individual uses methods to persuade others to change their basic beliefs and values.  A group or individual may use unethical methods to persuade others to believe and do what the manipulator(s) want. It often harms the person being manipulated.
The term has been applied to any tactic, psychological or otherwise, which undermines (damages) an individual's control over their own thinking, behaviour, emotions or decision making.
Theories of brainwashing and of mind control were originally developed to explain how totalitarian regimes appeared to succeed systematically in indoctrinating prisoners of war through propaganda and torture techniques.

Control of what day/time it is; what & when you eat, and a whole long list of mind control techniques are more successful if you cannot tell the time, read a calendar, know what day it is, know where you are, etc.

Have you ever heard of prisoners scratching the walls with the number of days gone by? Why do you think they would do that?

I get it, I get what you are saying about the older generation complaining about the younger generation. And if any of us come under the control of a narcissist, we need to fight their attempts at control over us.

When caregivers are done listening, we need to walk away.
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Lol, maybe it's NYS.
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@Anxiety ,

Are you sure you haven’t visited my MIL lately ?

I’m tired of her complaining about my kids generation to us . I tell her times have changed , then she always says “ Well I don’t like it “. I normally say ,” well we can’t stop it .”

Next time she says it , I’m telling her “ Nobody asked you “. I’ve tried being nice but I’m done listening to it , and my tongue bleeding .
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On my mind is the endless complaining my geration does about kids not knowing how to tell time.

Like seriously why is it bothering people so much, times change things change it's a fact of life.

I have to hear it constantly.

Most of the time I ask them if they know how to read a sun dial

I'm sure this might ruffle some feathers out there. Because I guess I'm not the norm since I have yet to talk to anyone my age for more than 5 minutes that's hasn't brought this subject up. Just really needed to vent it out!!!
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Yeah, multigenerational dysfunction is hard to overcome
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I get angry when I read how a young person has their life stolen from them by being forced into caregiving for a grandparent . Those are the most heartbreaking threads .
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Llama, get well!
Nacy,
Not strange at all. There is this concept of U curve measuring happiness which is high for children then decreases especially in 40s and then goes up in 50-60s.
Maybe we just learn to respect ourselves more, have less problems, or handle them better. Maybe we just simply decided to be happy no matter what.
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llama, i hope you’re ok!! speedy recovery!!
🍀🍀🍀🌸🌸🌸
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I've actually been on this strange high of happiness lately, I really didn't understand what has been happening. I tried antidepressants but I just don't like the side effects. So it's not that.

It's like things just don't bother me anymore, I don't care who likes me who doesn't, I see what my family is. I go to moms, if she is grumpy, I leave and leave it there.

I guess after years of caregiving, and on and off depression this is a normal experience. Maybe this is what normal people feel like?

Also I read after getting out of an abusive controlling relationship you seem a little crazy to others. Like if you could eat ice cream, you go to the store and by a whole cart of ice cream.

Must be something like that happening to me.
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Take care of yourself LLama!
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Llama, sending hugs. Hope you get back on your feet soon and that your husband will be okay.
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Alva: Thank you and yes, I have done that. Our married DD has a plate full and then some.
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OK llama. Withdrawal not being done carefully can really cause a crisis. Call his MD and let him know that he stopped these abruptly. This is dangerous stuff if he is on and off these meds willy nilly. Anyone around who can supervise them for a bit?
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Thank you, everyone! Your kind, uplifting words mean the world to me, truly. My DH was only recently dx'd with MCI upon my urging to see a neurologist. He also mistakenly took himself off his clinical depression medications, which I discovered 10 days ago, reordering them.
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Oh, Llama. I am so very sorry. This is so very painful. And then the worry about hubby on top of it all. So very sorry. My thoughts are with you.
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Llama,wishing you strength both physically and mentally.
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Oh llamalover what a trial. May The Lord be with you and all of your caregivers, May HE give you strength, courage and healing. May HE touch your dear husband and give him strength, guidance and comfort for this trying time.

Great Big Warm Hug!!
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Llama
Wishing only the best for you and DH. Thank you for letting us know.
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many prayers to you, dear, sweet Llama!! you are always so kind to everyone and have always lifted everyone else up. wishing you a speedy recovery!!!! huggggg.
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Llama so sorry. I hope you get the care you need and I will definitely pray for you and your DH
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So so sorry 😞 lama, 🙏🙏🙏
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