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The stroke has caused her to have speech problems and G-tube feeding. I do have help from an outside care giver but it is limited. I have to change her at least three times a day and it becomes a difficult task. A video of a simple way of changing her (and the under-mattress pad protection) She is 93 years has both hips replaced in the far past. I want to make this simple and painless for both of us.

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First of all, I've taken care of a stroke victim. It's not easy, especially with the difficulties your spouse has. I'm assuming that since she's 93, you must be in the same age range.

I understand your wanting to provide the best care for your LO, and you may think that no one else can take care of her as well as you can. That's admirable, but at any age, the task you've set for yourself is near impossible. Or maybe it is possible to a certain degree, but you may kill yourself in the process. Then who will take care of her?

Your wife needs more than one limited outside caregiver. She needs 24/7 care by professionals. She and you both deserve that. You can hire them to care for her at home (STRONGLY advise against) or find her a skilled nursing facility that will meet all her needs. Many elders have a bias against "nursing homes," but they aren't the way they used to be. You should check some out.

Good luck with this, and please find more help. You and your wife deserve it.
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You say that you have a caregiver. That's great. Ask the caregiver to show you how this is done.
I do think that eventually you may be unable to sustain doing care at home. I certainly wish you both the best. This is a very tough situation.
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If you go to YouTube and search "changing an adult diaper" you'll find lots of videos, but I don't think easy is a possibility.
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