I am a live-in caregiver who is being abused, mainly by my elderly patient's son. He abuses me physically (police called 3times), emotional, verbally, financially.....every day he berates/belittles/humiliates me in malicious manner. I have lived here 2.5 years, and have never had one day off. I get paid VERY LITTLE under the table. I never leave, and he will not even take me to the food store. I have begged him for help with medical care to no avail. Now, my back is injured, and I'm practical crawling, and he made it worse by slamming me into a cabinet. He wont sign documents of residence for low-cost clinic for medical care. He has thrown me off mattress to sleep on floor and claims I cannot use facilities. I haven't left because I have nowhere to go. This family has resources. They call me white trash. I have no family, nowhere to go, and desperately wish to keep my 4 cats/family. Advice?
IT SCREAMS, I AM A TROLL. Lesson learned. Of course, this person would pick a site such as this (caregivers are giving people), say she is a caregiver too, then start the animal routine which led to the finale. I have to hand it to her. Hey Dallas MT (isn't that the name of some Team?), you are really good at this. Over 100 wasted posts. I am sure youre reading this. Will you come back and explain how wrong we are?
For all I know both posts might have been by the same person.
There was also another one that was suspicious but it was halted very quickly and I think is dead for now.
Last year there was a woman who posted as ShakingDustOff, with posts that ranged from actually insightful to others that were rants and raves with talk about devils. Eventually I began to wonder if she had multiple personalities.
She too often posted about how abused she was.
“They always say 'why does she go back?' Because there’s a lack of resources in this city for our women being impacted by domestic violence. It doesn’t take a scientist to figure this out,” she said
Great report, but my report says we need more shelters in our city, bottom line,” Nixon Bowles said.
Well at least if I'm ever stuck in Dallas, being abused with a bunch of cats I've got plenty of good info........
I think I get why it is great relief to fantasize about starting an animal rescue when you can't rescue yourself or your own right now...but also, I hope you can get why people are jumping on you for your story changing a little day by day and not seeming consistent, and beginning to sound like you are going to ask for money. I'm thinking back to the flea bomb episode too - the cats did OK with that, and if they had fleas, that can cause awful dermatitis for them and for the humans living in the house too, and something had to be done, apparently. Cats that get fleas are indoor-outdoor cats, typically - is that the case with yours? You have a room - but he does not want you on the mattress or using facilities??? How can anyone live in a house and never use the bathroom - I personally think its wrong not to let construction people use the facilities, I'd put down a tarp if I'm too worried about dirt tracked in, but a live-in has got to - unless you can easily walk down the block to a gas station or something? But you "can't walk"? At all?? And why, if you have a room, would you be unwelcome to use a mattress - bedbugs? hygiene? Just incredibly mean?? Or incredibly stupid or both - what does he suppose happens if you walk away, and why he is trying to create conditions that would force most anyone to do just that...how is he THAT sure that you have no tipping point and will not leave no matter what he does - I can only guess that you've let on to him that you feel powerless and helpless, and he's using that against you.
Stop worrying about "proving us wrong," that shouldn't be the point at all, the point is for you to see the situation for what it is and your part in perpetuating it if you really do want out. Even the negative statements here could possibly help you see why you are not getting help - why you might be perceived as unworthy of kindness or support; perceptions can be wrong, very wrong - but they matter. Getting out may not be easy AT ALL - in that you have my sympathy - but avoiding the overwhelming need for it by ruminating on all the practical reasons and emotions around why you have not done it yet is not going to seem sympathetic for long.
Look. Specific example. It sounds like you can walk, but you mean it hurts you to walk. You seem articulate, so people take what you write at face value and when it is not literally true they blow you off. What I mean is the ambulance shows up , they see./hear a woman who saying "I can't walk" and either walking with a limp that looks exaggerated or crawling when she obviously has the strength to walk and is not paralyzed. The flea bomb in your room - there was a hole in the closet so no one was going to die of the toxicity but you were calling it attempted murder.
You are not going to get a statement of residence because that could entitle you to live there longer. You MIGHT get some boxes or bags or a cart for your stuff out of him if it got you out of there a day early. If they think they are better off without you, that's their problem if they are wrong. You are not responsible for them. You are responsible for you. You did not get the help you wanted because no one else saw you as unable to pick up what's left of your self respect, and your cats, and leave. This guy wants you gone and gone ASAP. Never mind what it does or does not do for his ego or his soul - he has simply and obviously been trying to force you out, and now that he has the law behind him, he will succeed, because he owns the place and you don't. Pack your stuff, whatever you have left, decide what is most worth keeping that you can carry, pick up what's left of your self-esteem, and yes, move on to something better - the worst homeless shelter in the city is going to be in better shape than an unfurnished room with a hole in the closet and wet and cold and probably moldy, being beat up and yelled at daily. A tent or even a decent cardboard box would beat what you are living in now. The worst humiliation is what you have already been through. The humiliation of also being evicted is irrelevant at this point. Turn off the drama machine, once and for all. No more BS.