I am a live-in caregiver who is being abused, mainly by my elderly patient's son. He abuses me physically (police called 3times), emotional, verbally, financially.....every day he berates/belittles/humiliates me in malicious manner. I have lived here 2.5 years, and have never had one day off. I get paid VERY LITTLE under the table. I never leave, and he will not even take me to the food store. I have begged him for help with medical care to no avail. Now, my back is injured, and I'm practical crawling, and he made it worse by slamming me into a cabinet. He wont sign documents of residence for low-cost clinic for medical care. He has thrown me off mattress to sleep on floor and claims I cannot use facilities. I haven't left because I have nowhere to go. This family has resources. They call me white trash. I have no family, nowhere to go, and desperately wish to keep my 4 cats/family. Advice?
Regarding the OP, we don't know what the situation is. If this person had to relocate, we don't know what may have happened to their computer or if they were on a library computer. If they moved to safety at some point, perhaps they may have lost their login info to log into their account. These are just some possibilities to remember because when you must leave a violent situation, you may end up losing some things in the process and in some cases you may only come out with the clothes on your back. Don't judge, you just never know what someone else may be going through and I'm speaking from experience. When I was rescued by CPS from my dangerous parents, I was only able to come out with the clothes on my back. I wasn't able to really take anything with me. The CPS went out to the house and my abusers wouldn't even turn over no clothes for me at the group home. It wasn't until the sheriff came out and threatened my abusers with arrest if they didn't comply and turn over some clothes to the CPS for me at the group home. I don't know what happened to the OP, I never followed the thread but hopefully the situation is resolved and the OP is safe
This is another one of those fake posters who just went on and on and on, pretending to want to escape but always finding reasons not to. He or she is probably now on some other forum playing the same games.
Jeanne, thanks for clueing in the newer posters.
The OP did not take advice when she (allegedly) had the problem 2 years ago. They are not likely to still be reading this.
Can we just put this one to bed?
As an abuse survivor myself, I can tell you that it usually ends in death. I know what I'm talking about, I lost my only bio sister. I don't know if you've ever seen on Facebook the children's wall of tears, but you would be surprised at all the children who have also died from abuse at the hands of their abusers and caregivers. What would make you think your abuser won't kill you? From what you're describing, this person really needs to have charges pressed against him and not just the cops called only for them to leave you in that situation. They're not doing their job by leaving you in that situation. You say you have nowhere to go but actually if you think about it, yes, you do! There are plenty of churches, battered women's shelters and you can even sleep under a bridge if the shelters are full. What you need to do is go somewhere safe and call the cops and press charges.
What you can do is visit the nearest business and tell one of the workers to call the cops and tell them why and that you live nearby if the police station is too far away. If you live near a fire station, hospital or the local human services, you can't even show up at one of them and have them get you some help. If all of those are too far away, just show up at the nearest business. If this is out in the country, just get out on the road and start walking toward town. Stay in plain view as much as possible. If your abuser chases you down, try to stop passersby if this is out in the country. If no one is around and you're out in the country, hop a fence and run through a field and hopefully to the nearest house for help but screaming along the way. If you have a phone, call 911 (if he hasn't taken away your phone). There is a lot you can do. You may have to leave with whatever clothes you have on your back and if you must leave in your underwear, someone will notice somethings off and will call authorities, especially if you must leave naked. This is the biggest red flag somethings wrong but you're not likely to get in trouble for indecent exposure or if you had to leave naked in order to save your life. There are other police reports on file according to you so this should help you. Call your local Bar Association and get a domestic violence lawyer who helps in this area and who can also recover money owed to you for your work.
If he happens to be out and you're home alone and there happens to be a car that happens to be running, I don't condone stealing cars but if this car is an extra car belonging to him or if he's sleeping, grab the keys if you know which ones they are and run out the door, into the car and lock the door behind you. Start up and get the heck out of there as fast as you can and speed up the road as fast as you can but do it safely. Go to the police department but take the keys with you. If you're stopped on the way, just tell them you were just abused again, and had to flee. Explain that you're not going back and that you need to go somewhere safe. Also see who can retrieve your cats but don't be surprised if the abuser hurts or kills them, make this known when you make the police report that if anything happens to your cats you're pressing more charges besides the abuse against you, but also for the cats. Have him arrested and then have someone help you get a lawyer. When they go for charges, the judge can order payment and even garnish his bank account and the bank accounts of anyone else who may have been involved in the abuse against you. Those who knew about the abuse and did nothing are probably accessories and they're just as bad as the abuser by doing nothing. You said they have resources, see how much your lawyer can get you.
Since there's an elder in the home where you're being abused, you also need to call the APS. If you've been abused as you say, then chances are this other person may have also been abused at one time and chances are there are probably others. This person really needs to be stopped and locked up, especially if there are children in this home
It sounds like you must be caring for someone of a different race or they wouldn't call you "white trash". What you need to do is still keep calling the police department and even start looking for a lawyer and go for what you deserve in pay. It would also be a good idea to contact the APS and to get the heck out of there. What would help is if you had someway to record all of the activity going on in that house and send copies to proper authorities. You're better off in a homeless shelter right now then you are where you are being abused.
Where do I sign up for the Nigerian scam? Bruce from NY/NJ aka "Crispin," whatever your name is nowadays, is that you?
Ladies, beware. State and federal authorities have been looking for an abusive man who owes lots of child support to several women who poses as a caregiver and preys on lonely women on caregiving, dating, and other sites. He tries to sound super spiritual, sweet, helpful, and an animal lover. He bothered some ladies around here but is thankfully long gone from our area; unfortunately, he conned a church into giving him money to go to California and he jumped off the bus in, yes, Texas for yet another "job opportunity."
The internet is full of Bruces, men and women and when they aren't living off their mothers and girlfriends they are trying to live of food of your hard earned money.
P.T. Barnum said, "A sucker is born every minute." Don't be one of them. Unfortunately for caregiver types, they tend to be taken in more than average on internet scams and you can lose more than just your money. There are identity scams, kidnappers, perverts, and if you haven't seen the interview with the woman whose boyfriend was murdered brutally by the man that abducted her and her boyfriend after keeping them in a shopping container after bragging about his intentions on Amazon reviews, maybe you should get out more and not be so trusting of people you "meet" on the internet.
This troll is an amateur but the next one might not be. This one isn't even female. Be more discerning, ladies (and gents, if you are there).
God bless.
Signing with my real name because I have a prayer for you and a bullet with your name on it if you stalk or disturb my family again,
Michelle
I have come to this site with questions myself, and seeking support. Once I have received the support, good ideas or solutions to the situation have been given to me...I don't keep the post "going" for the sake of attention, or whatever. Yes, we all help each other, but you have gotten SOUND advice and TONS of sympathy. Now your story (while it may be true) is ringing a little too false. You've had actual offers, in Dallas, of people who would come GET you. You refused. So you've chosen to stay in this place. If it's all true, my heart does go out to you. If you are having a jolly time scamming all of these kind, caring people, I really feel sorry for you.
"Wow, ladies. Many of you appear to have missed your callings. If I were you. I'd shuck the caregiving gigs and become detectives. "
Doesn't that sound like the former Mousehunter a/k/a PieceofCrap?
This fake identity is probably one of many used by this sicko to provoke responses on various forums. I'm guessing she/he/it is trolling on many forums, testing out different fictitious scenarios to see what reels in the most catches.
If even 30% of this story is true, please, please, get yourself to a mental health clinic. You need way more help than you can get from an online board.