I have a mother, 93, who lives independently and refuses to leave the house that she resides in. She is able to present herself as knowledgeable and rational in a public setting. However, she is paranoid, has no understanding of finances, totally distrusts almost everyone, and believes that anyone that is in her house steals money, jewelry, liquor, etc. Since I have known her the longest, I am at the top of her "Hate List". My daughter runs a close second. She is relatively wealthy and has changed her will at least 4 times in the last three years. She has given her POA to a nephew that she knows little about. So basically, she has blocked me from doing anything for her. All of her memories are about exaggerated negative things that I did my entire life, now 70 yrs old. I could write a book about the anger and irrational thoughts. She has wealth and is determined to give it to anyone but her descendants. Keep in mind, if you were to meet her today and she likes you, you could possible be in her new will next month...
Let the POA take charge, and I agree there is not much you can do at this point. And if you live 500 miles away I doubt you are doing much hands on care (sorry Holiday)..
It seems that she has some kind of dementia and she is open to all kinds of financial abuse. I agree with freqflyer about checking guardianship.
She could possibly just be threatening to cut you out. If not then her lawyer stays busy.
When she dies be prepared for a long drawn out conflict legally, concerning the estate and will. You and your daughter are next of kin so the frequent will changes will look odd. Remember, Anna Nicole Smith lost her bid to collect her deceased husband’s fortune. The jury didn’t buy her tears and giggles!
Does your mom hire caregivers or do you and your daughter do it?
She has money, then let her use it for her care. She has a POA, let him coordinate homecare when she needs it. Don't put yourself thru this abuse. Any responsibility you feel you have should only be to make sure she is fed, safe, warm and clean. When she is deemed incompetent to handle her affairs then the nephew will need to step in. Don't try to do his job, he has legal papers.
So sorry you need to go thru this. Not a way we want to remember a parent.
One thing you can check into is Guardianship of your Mom. Use an "Elder Law Attorney" as they are much more familiar with the care side of an elder and whether that elder is able to understand legal documents, etc.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-get-guardianship-of-elderly-parents-140693.htm
As mom gets sicker, she can look to someone ELSE to help her.