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My mom is bedridden with dementia, is not getting good care in the SNF she's in, so looking for alternatives. Found a 3-bedroom senior living home run by a nurse. I have a tour scheduled. She says she can handle my mom's care and hospice will see her daily too. Has anyone had experience with a home? I'm just a bit worried since no regulatory body oversees them-just require certification by the state of Texas I think. I have list of questions to ask during tour. Any advice?

My friend put her mother in one. Her major complaint was that they kept syringe feeding mom until the end, but that was actually the doctor orders. Mom wasn’t on hospice.

Other than that, the elder foster home was absolutely the best place for mom.
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Kalamazootx1 Feb 11, 2026
Thank you. I feel good about our decision to move mom here. Its only 3 beds . The owner is a wound care nurse who has 13 yr experience with seniors in a SNF. I think mom will get great care. I feel a huge relief
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My mother, 95 yr, old, with vascular dementia, and with a stroke in December, I had to put her in a skilled nursing/longterm facility. I took care of her at home before then and she could get around and self-groom, with reminders, slowly, but surely. Since she's been in the facility, the decline has been rapid. It's so hard to get information out of them, like when did the dentist or podiatrist last come around, so I can track my mother's care. What were the results of the bloodwork after y'all put her on IV. Is there any way/ time I can meet and see the medical doctor who oversees the facility? Any therapy has pretty much flown out the window. They decide what she needs most and when. But when?? Social worker tells me I can go to the nurse on duty or the station to get any answers on any questions about my mother. Then the nurse will say No, the Social worker can give you that info. We don't have it. So then I call to speak with her but she's always busy and I'm still waiting on a call back from 2 days ago. It is the most frustrating facility...my first experience. There are young individual aides I've met that are wonderful with my mother, but they are overloaded and just follow orders. We ended up buying her own wheelchair because they had her in one for over a week with the back half ripped off and never replaced it, when I asked them to; even after they acknowledged it was unsafe. Believe me, if I had a team to help me 24/7, I would bring her home. It's more exhausting to navigate the corporate system; with no oversight.
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jemfleming Feb 17, 2026
It absolutely is exhausting to deal with facility care. Anyone who thinks you can place and count on adequate (not even good) care is either naive or extremely lucky. You don’t just visit - you continue to manage their care - while they rake in obscene monthly charges.
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My friends mom enjoyed her adult foster home about as well as anyone with advanced dementia could enjoy anything. My friend is an ocd neatfreak and even she said the home was immaculate. They would play old Lawrence Welk and My Three Sons. Mom felt secure there as questions about the house and her dog faded. Unlike a larger facility, there is always someone there.

The home was also about half the price of a memory care. Friend did not even have to sell moms house. She rented it out allowing it to appreciate five more years, thus benefiting their inheritance.

It was really a win win for everyone.
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Just make sure you explain mom's needs clearly, and ask if the care home can meet her needs.
Is mom already on hospice? Or is this the suggestion of the nurse running a 3-bedroom senior living home?
Look around and see how the other residents look. Are they smiling? Asking for help? Are they receiving help? Or, are they disoriented and lost? Ask if there is a schedule and what the schedule is for meals, bathing, personal cares, entertainment. Is someone supervising overnight?
If you do choose this home, check on your mom within the first week. Ask her how she feels, how she is doing, if her needs are being met. You can always try it and take her out of there if you don't feel it's a good fit. Don't agree to any long term financial contracts. Insist on a trial period.
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Put a camera (Ring system) in her room so you can monitor her whenever you want via the app. Of course, let the owner know that's what you're planning to do so there's nothing to hide for either party. It provides a way to know that she is getting the care she needs. Pay for the system that records and keeps the data-if you need to look back, say, 1 week, you can. I recommend this to anyone who has a loved one in a facility or at home with paid caregivers. Best of luck!
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It's a hit and miss with private care homes. I have known several. Most were more like living at home and small and warm and the care was lovely.

Some are like warehouses, and that is a scary thought.

Do your due diligence before moving mom. Ask the relatives of the other patients their honest feelings.

Ask away and keep copious notes.

And--good luck!
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I would recommend a certificate or resume of the care providers and the various levels of training they have had and experiences they’re able to have had with aged/ elderly clients. Level and cost of services they may be able to provide. Equipment that may be needed for provision of care and accessibility and length of accommodations, visitations, transportation needs for appointments, and local resources and providers or facilities they would be able to access. Discussion about method of payments and medication management and advance directive planning with physicians or caregivers.
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Our dad was in an EXCELLENT facility like this privately run by an RN with help from aides daily. In Illinois.There were 5 clients. He received excellent care. We visited daily because he wanted not to be alone! We fortunately lived only 15 min away.
Take your list of questions when you visit. I would try to visit often. then you have opportunity to get to know them and they you. They also know you will be there often with “eyes” on the place.
Dad was only there 2.5 months before his death.
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My DH has been in a private care home since last July. There has been a large turnover in caregivers but they all seem well trained and caring. He was in Hospice care for the first 4 months and they were a real blessing. Wonderful, caring people. they checked on him frequently, read to him, visited with him and responded when I asked for extras. They provided a special reclining wheelchair so that he was not confined to his bed 24/7, a special mattress to prevent bed sores, oxygen when he had breathing difficulties.
That said, I did observe one resident that was harassing another resident on a couple of occasions while I was visiting. I contacted management and that is no longer happening. It seemed to occur mostly while the staff was busy preparing or serving meals.
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BreezyStarr2025 Feb 16, 2026
Thank you for speaking out..No one deserves this inappropriate behavior…Thank you so much
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Yes and it was the worst experience ever. Not that all are bad. Now what do you want to know?
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Ombudsman in Texas can help you with questions about the care home you have found. Because it's small and run by a nurse with Hospice help her care will be much more sufficient than a large SNF.
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Any form of institutional eldercare truly requires deep thought and consideration. Unfortunately there seems to not be a one all fits all solution. I would say ask family & friends to be as visible as possible. May the force es be with you as you make the best decision for your mom & yourself. God Bess🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾💕
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My BIL has lived in a private care home owned by a nurse for maybe 7 years. It's been wonderful for him. It's in Florida.

I don't agree that it's a good idea to ask mom how things are once she gets there! She has dementia. Her brain is subject to hallucinations, delusions, and all sorts of things that keep her from being a reliable reporter. For instance, one of my husband's friends at his memory care home thinks his wife never visits, but she's there every day. I see and talk with her. He also believes that he gets the same lunch every single day. That isn't true; the menu is appealing and varied, but no one will ever convince him of that. Also, he started having falls before he moved there about three months ago, and he states that he's never fallen in his life. Another resident there thinks she owns a horse stable and it's right outside. Not true. There's a resident who hears voices telling her what to think. Another yells "Help! Help!" all day. Asking any of them if they're treated well would be pointless. Their stories can be very creative.

Go and observe for yourself what goes on in the place you choose. Don't even bother to ask mom.

I hope you find just the right place for your mom.
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What does the support staff look like at the 3-bedroom home you're thinking about moving your mother to? How many aides do the house employ? Who does the housekeeping, cooking, and stocks the house? Does the RN who runs the place also live there? What does her time off look like? Is there another RN who takes over for her?

In my long experience in homecare, I find that hospice at home is mostly a joke. They bring a lot of meds and not a lot of support. Keep that in mind. Also, talk to them about what services they will provide.

A private care home can work and it sounds a lot nicer than a big commercial care facility. Just check them out A LOT and ask every question. Also, have a lawyer look ver any contracts you sign with the place before you move your mother there.
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jemfleming Feb 17, 2026
B/C - I second your hospice at home comment. Just a bunch of meds, promises of support that never happened, and taking control of your loved one’s physician choice and prescriptions.
I kept my mother’s Primary Care and refused their “offer” of using theirs for supposed “convenience.” I’m glad I did since she did not remain under their care for long. She did not qualify - or so they said. It wasn’t my idea to put her on hospice - it was my and her Primary Care’s well meaning nurse. I also did not like the fact that Hospice insisted that she could not continue on Eliquis. She was put on it after a pulmonary embolism episode. She is not a fall risk since she is bedridden. I think it was the cost rather than a medical reason. They take over the meds and they didn’t want to pay for it. I did not want her to have a stroke. That would be worse for her AND me since I care for her in my home. I continued to give her what I had. My assessment? Maybe Hospice is helpful at the very end but they were virtually worthless in our situation.
The private home may be a good choice otherwise. Just ask questions and check it out before you leap.
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Thank you all . Ive asked lots if questions to the homes owner operator. Ive checked her nurses license. She will live in the home in the beginning. This home is just opening. Shes hiring cna to assist and has backup aides and nurses. The hospice is wonderful. Nurse comes weekly and aides daily. The dr is very responsive to my requests regarding her medications. There are emergency plans in place in the event of fire etc. Doors will be locked and family has codes to enter any time. Cameras in all areas with family access. Laundry and cooking and cleaning will be provided. Activities planned. Transportation to dr visits etc. Hairdresser to visit as needed.
Im praying this will all work out well. Its 5 minutes from my home too
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So glad to hear all the pluses for this home.
That a nurse is opening / running it is a major additional plus.
Everything about it sounds so good for you and your mom.
Keep us up to date how you and your mom is doing.

Gena / Touch Matters
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