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My 98-year-old mom lives with my husband and I, and her hearing is worsening as time goes on. She refuses to look into hearing aids. She no longer leaves the house. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to help her hear what we are saying?
This probably will not work for everyone, but mom listens to the darn television on the highest volume, so so loud for my husband and I. I decided one day to put on the closed caption on the televisions, what a wonderful thing!!! Now she sits quietly and reads the text and watches at a normal volume, it's fantastic, and it stimulates her to read, and since she can't read books anymore and comprehend them, this works for us!!
You really need to have her hearing evaluated by a hearing professional.
There is a connection between hearing loss and dementia. You don't say whether she has cognitive decline, but most people have some by age 98. Read this:
You need to prevent cognitive decline as much as you can. My LO's doctor is firm on this: Get the best hearing aids money can buy. Also get the best glasses prescription you can.
Dementia isn't just about loss of memory. It is a matter of bladder and bowel incontinence (that will affect you if you're the one cleaning her up afterward). And not understanding what she needs to do (like brush her teeth because she no longer knows how). And refusing to bathe. And screaming in the middle of the night. And wandering. And begging to go home because she doesn't know she is home.
So inability to hear isn't just a matter of her not hearing you. It's about losing her brain.
If she can understand, show her the Johns Hopkins article. If she can't, you can either take her for a hearing test over her objections or ask the hearing aid folks to come to the house. I had to do that with my dad; he thought it was someone who came by to clean his ears.
The higher end non prescription hearing aids available on line may not have all the latest high tech bells and whistles but many have been evaluated as being very good, there are also simpler personal amplifiers like The Pocket Talker which can be helpful one on one, or at places where there isn't a lot of background noise (like religious services or seniors meetings and presentations..
Oh my gosh, I can empathize! My mom was nearly deaf. I took her to an audiologist. She spent a ton of money for one hearing aid. The other ear wasn’t able to be helped by a hearing aid.
She had an excessive wax situation and I had to clean her hearing aid often. She couldn’t hear very well even when she wore her hearing aid.
I became exhausted from hollering so she could hear me. One day, I thought, why not use a voice amplifier? Teachers use these in classrooms. They are inexpensive and sold on Amazon.
One thing that helped me also was, my mom was an excellent lip reader. If I faced her directly and spoke slowly, she was able to read my lips.
If it's uncomfortable (i.e. not fitted exactly to the patient's ear), they won't wear it. So spending money on an over-the-counter device that they won't wear would be foolish.
My LO is very hard of hearing due to his service in the military. He bought his hearing aids at Costco and they give a good correction. Plus I can control them from his cell phone. I wish they didn't have tiny little batteries to change, though. Next time, if there is a next time, he needs the kind that plug into a charger.
My mother has been profoundly hearing impaired since her 30s. It’s always been difficult and tiring trying to communicate with her. She and her family should have learned ASL years ago, we all might have had better relationships with her.
She has expensive hearing aids that probably need to be replaced but we will just keep these going as long as we can. She cannot afford new ones. Her hearing problems are too complicated to buy over the counter.
So to communicate with her now I make sure the room is well lit and I sit directly in front of her and speak clearly in a loud voice. She has become a good lip reader.
I also taught her how to text me using her iPad so we communicate via texting.
She also has the deaf telecom relay service. That worked well for her for a long time, not so much anymore. That may be an option for you.
“Amplifiers” rather than “hearing aids” may do the trick, and decent ones CAN be found in drug stores and online. If she is still understanding what you say if she is able to hear it, the simple goal is to be sure that whatever you say is loud enough.
There are microphone fobs that speakers can wear to target and amplify the signal that the listener is receiving. Many people with hearing loss who are her age will find them too loud to tolerate, and finding the best level of amplification is often trial and error.
”Lip reading” depends on the ability to observe and interpret the motion of the lips in forming consonants into words, and only about half of all the sounds used in English speech are actually visible to the eye. It is not too likely that attempting to teach this is of much value.
If she can tolerate them, Apple AirPods Pro 2 can be set up as simple amplifiers and I think they work fairly well (I use them).
If she is actually frustrated while indicating her needs, a flip book of line drawings nouns and verbs and adjectives might help her indicate her needs a little more easily.
Grandma1954 August 2, 2023 1:50pm If this is just to communicate with you and other family members (as well as visitors) If she refuses to get hearing aids then a dry erase board would be the most economical way. There are hearing aids you can purchase without going out to be examined. (I think I saw some on QVC one evening) but Google hearing aids and a lot of different ones will come up, then it is just a matter of looking at reviews. The kicker is if she refuses to wear them no matter how good or bad they are they are not going to help.
My mom does as well! Goangele, you can buy a little pocket voice amplifier and inexpensive light headphones if you don't like the earbuds that come with them. This is a pretty simple one... https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B019EDGWGO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
There is a connection between hearing loss and dementia. You don't say whether she has cognitive decline, but most people have some by age 98.
Read this:
https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2023/new-study-links-hearing-loss-with-dementia-in-older-adults
You need to prevent cognitive decline as much as you can. My LO's doctor is firm on this: Get the best hearing aids money can buy. Also get the best glasses prescription you can.
Dementia isn't just about loss of memory. It is a matter of bladder and bowel incontinence (that will affect you if you're the one cleaning her up afterward). And not understanding what she needs to do (like brush her teeth because she no longer knows how). And refusing to bathe. And screaming in the middle of the night. And wandering. And begging to go home because she doesn't know she is home.
So inability to hear isn't just a matter of her not hearing you. It's about losing her brain.
If she can understand, show her the Johns Hopkins article. If she can't, you can either take her for a hearing test over her objections or ask the hearing aid folks to come to the house. I had to do that with my dad; he thought it was someone who came by to clean his ears.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=devices+to+help+hearing+impaired+listen+to+tv&crid=2WS0898T1QWSX&sprefix=Hearing+help%2Caps%2C205&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_3_12
If you search out "hearing aids" on Amazon, they have a ton of affordable models there too.
She had an excessive wax situation and I had to clean her hearing aid often. She couldn’t hear very well even when she wore her hearing aid.
I became exhausted from hollering so she could hear me. One day, I thought, why not use a voice amplifier? Teachers use these in classrooms. They are inexpensive and sold on Amazon.
One thing that helped me also was, my mom was an excellent lip reader. If I faced her directly and spoke slowly, she was able to read my lips.
My LO is very hard of hearing due to his service in the military. He bought his hearing aids at Costco and they give a good correction. Plus I can control them from his cell phone. I wish they didn't have tiny little batteries to change, though. Next time, if there is a next time, he needs the kind that plug into a charger.
She has expensive hearing aids that probably need to be replaced but we will just keep
these going as long as we can. She cannot afford new ones. Her hearing problems are too complicated to buy over the counter.
So to communicate with her now I make sure the room is well lit and I sit directly in front of her and speak clearly in a loud voice. She has become a good lip reader.
I also taught her how to text me using her iPad so we communicate via texting.
She also has the deaf telecom relay service. That worked well for her for a long time, not so much anymore. That may be an option for you.
There are microphone fobs that speakers can wear to target and amplify the signal that the listener is receiving. Many people with hearing loss who are her age will find them too loud to tolerate, and finding the best level of amplification is often trial and error.
”Lip reading” depends on the ability to observe and interpret the motion of the lips in forming consonants into words, and only about half of all the sounds used in English speech are actually visible to the eye. It is not too likely that attempting to teach this is of much value.
If she can tolerate them, Apple AirPods Pro 2 can be set up as simple amplifiers and I think they work fairly well (I use them).
If she is actually frustrated while indicating her needs, a flip book of line drawings nouns and verbs and adjectives might help her indicate her needs a little more easily.
If this is just to communicate with you and other family members (as well as visitors) If she refuses to get hearing aids then a dry erase board would be the most economical way.
There are hearing aids you can purchase without going out to be examined. (I think I saw some on QVC one evening) but Google hearing aids and a lot of different ones will come up, then it is just a matter of looking at reviews.
The kicker is if she refuses to wear them no matter how good or bad they are they are not going to help.
Goangele, you can buy a little pocket voice amplifier and inexpensive light headphones if you don't like the earbuds that come with them.
This is a pretty simple one...
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B019EDGWGO/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1