I am confused and mad. I can't seem to get my Mom to understand that name calling is not appropriate. I have asked her not to and it's bad. My Mom move in with my husband and myself. She is so sweet to my husband but as soon as he leaves the names start. Very nasty names. They are so bad I don't want say them.. Is there any way to stop this?
Unlike JessieBelle I do not believe this will "teach" your mother anything. But if it does, hey, wonderful -- let us know all about it! But it will help minimize that particular stress as you care for your mother.
You do not deserve to be treated this way. Mother does not deserve to have her brain so damaged she cannot behave appropriately. Keep in mind that this is not about what is "fair." If fairness prevailed neither of you would be in this situation.
If you have a chance to do some reading about dementia, to watch some Teepa Snow videos, or to attend any dementia seminars, that might go a long way toward helping you accept that this is a product of a damaged brain and it really isn't about you at all.
It is a disease that eats away at the brain. She may not even realize that she is saying anything inappropriate. However, she may enjoy the reaction she gets from you. I have known sweet little ladies who wind up swearing like sailors in their old age. So sad.
If this is a new development, you might ask the doctor about an anti-anxiety med or perhaps check for UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). Best Wishes!