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Half of my family is in New York and the other half is in North Carolina.


My mom is having 87, she wheelchair bound but she still manages to make it back and forth to NY and NC.


We would like her to settle down in North Carolina because there are more of us here to help take care of her but she will lose her supplemental prescription help (Epic) if she lives down here.


She has several very expensive prescriptions for COPD and heart issues.


She really needs help with hygiene and physical therapy. She has fallen several times and she is incapable of getting into the shower. Her doctor in New York gave her a prescription for both but she won't start the PT until she can get help with her hygiene. My brother said the home care up there was only taking patients that have Medicaid.


We believe that she may be able to qualify for Medicaid but it's so overwhelming trying to figure out where to start.


She doesn't have the money to pay for an Elder Care lawyer.


Where do we start?


My brother thinks that she should apply for SSI disability which he says will automatically qualify her for Medicaid.

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In 2022 the most an individual could get on SSI is $841 per month. If her income is more than that don't bother. There are also asset limitations. In this case SSI would not be based on disability but age. SSI is for the aged, blind, or disabled.
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Yvoghese Jan 2022
Thank you
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Your mom is to old to qualify for SSDI.

You are going to have to bite the bullet and file for community Medicaid, once she lands. Because Medicaid doesn't cross state lines.

Just curious, she can afford to be a Snowbird but, can't afford several hundred dollars to speak to a CELA?
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Yvoghese Jan 2022
Maybe I'm using the wrong terminology.

I simply mean that she goes back and forth. She's in NC for 3 months. Then she's in NY for 3 months. She is not maintaining 2 homes.

One of us will drive her back and forth.

When she is in New York she lives with my brother. When she is in North Carolina she stays with me or my sister.

She can not be left alone. She is wheelchair bound.
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Contact your local (NC) Area Agency on Aging to see what assistance is available.

Is mom in NYS or NYC? Have your brother contact HIS local Area Agency on Aging to ask about getting her qualified for Community Medicaid, a bath aid and other services while YOU work on NC.
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Isn't Medicaid tied to the state? It does not cross statelines, so isn't it impossible to have Medicaid active in two states. Maybe I am missing something.

Maybe a referral from your doctor can get her aids through medicare. I would seek professional advice ASAP.
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BarbBrooklyn Jan 2022
Not suggeating she should get Medicaid in two states.

She needs help NOW, wherever she is and brother is getting bad info.

They BOTH need to investigate what is available where and decide, based on that.
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You both need legal advice - and in both states. Do your homework before moving her anywhere. Some attorneys will provide a free consultation, or there may be a low-income legal program in your area. Call the State Bar Association and ask for resources that might be available for low-income seniors. Reach out to your state chapter for the National Council on Aging (NCOA) to see if resources are available in a community near you. Medicaid is handled on a state basis, some states offer it and others make qualifying "out of reach" (Florida is awful). Prescription costs can be lowered using a free prescription discount card (such as GoodRx), switching to a generic alternative if available, or applying to the pharmaceutical manufacturer for financial assistance on a high-cost medication (I saved my dad $36K/year by applying on his behalf for FREE meds). Finally, it's not easy to file for SSI (Supplemental Security Income) benefits; applications are most often denied making people jump through hoops over a long period of time. An attorney specializing in SSI applications is worth every penny you (or your mom) will spend. They know the pitfalls and tend to get applications approved more quickly. Good luck.
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I have never heard of a homecare only taking Medicaid. If anything providers don't care for Medicaid because they are slow payers and do not pay what someone paying privately would.

I would first find out if its even feasible for Mom to come to NC. Do you have to establish residency before you can apply for Medicaid or any County services. Njs prescription help is PADD can she get anything like that in NC? She has Medicare which goes from state to state but what about her secondary insurance? NC may not except it.

Medicaid for health she maybe able to get if she fits the criteria. In my State it covers hospitals, drs, vision, dental and precriptions.
She cannot get Social Security Disability once she turned 65. Her disabilities are now age related and she is already receiving SS. She maybe able to get SSI which is a supplimental income. What you need to do in both states is go to the County Social Service office and see what she is entitled to.

IMO if Mom cannot get into a shower to bathe, she is no longer independent. Her falls are another problem. She should either go to an Assisted Living if she can afford it or Longterm care if she can get Medicaid. Medicaid in all aspects is not a given. You need to show a need. If you bring her to NC you are going to have to care for her or place her. She cannot live alone anymore.
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Yvoghese Jan 2022
She has never lived on her own. She has always lived with one of us since my Pop went into a nursing home in 2004.
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Thank you for clarifying that she isn't a Snowbird and you guys take 3 month blocks to care for her.

I think barb is right. Do research in both locations and see which one has the services that best meet her needs.

Be sure and check the residency requirements. Medicaid is state administered and you must be a resident of that state to be eligible for assistance.

She isn't going to be able to have services through Medicaid in both places. No more sharing 3 on/3 off. Keep this in mind when researching what is available.

If it is getting to be to much, have you guys considered one month each? That gives all of you a 2 month respite between turns and still allows you to help mom stay out of a long term facility.

Best of luck getting this sorted out. This is one of those challenging situations that occurs when help lives in different states, that none of us ever consider until we run into the wall.
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Yvoghese Feb 2022
Thank you for your input and support. I don't think she can handle traveling every month.
It is very tiring for her just getting in the car to go to the doctor.

I was thinking I might ask my sister to move in with me. My house is big enough for all of us.

That way we could split the time caring for my mom. I work second shift and my sister works from home.

I am sure my sister would be opposed to the idea because she lived with me for a while several years ago and it didn't work out. At the time she was drinking heavily and not working and we didn't charge her anything to stay with us.

Now she is in a much better place and I am trying to figure out if that is something that we can work it out.

I can take care of my mom during the day and she can take care of her in the evenings.

It is very draining on whoever she is staying with at the time. This each of us could get a little bit of a break.
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I don't see where this moving her back and forth is going to work forever. I would think this is effecting her in some way not having a permanent place to live. NC for me (live SNJ) is 7 to 8 hrs and thats driving to the Raleigh/Durham area. I would think that is hard on an 87 year old. She needs to be settled somewhere. Good Luck in finding where that would be. Me personally would go South but then I have relatives down there.
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Yvoghese Feb 2022
My grandmother, her mom did the same thing in her last years only it was a 40 minute drive as passed to 7 hours.

She misses us when she's on New York and she misses them when she's here.

I am answer that she is still able to do it but right now this is what works for her.

We are hoping to eventually have her settle down here.
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