My dad has Alzheimer’s and has been in memory care since his spinal surgeries in Oct 2017. I am my dad’s DPOA for health and finance and Guardian ad Litem for his divorce that his wife filed. Still not finalized. I spoke with him about his wishes prior to his October 2017 surgery by filling out paperwork with him provided by the hospital. We didn’t realize at the time that it needed to be notarized. At that time all he would say regarding funeral arrangements was that he wanted to be buried in the military cemetery and if his sisters or I wanted to do anything more to do it. I did find VA paperwork saying that even though he doesn’t have enough points from the air force reserves for benefits, that they did approve a burial in a national cemetery. He had also told me the day before his surgery that he was furious to find out from divorce disclosures, in Feb 2017, that his wife of 43 years (not my mother) had previously taken out a “life insurance policy” on him before his heart surgery that was a few years prior. He said that he had recently canceled it and got his money back. Most recently I learned from the divorce lawyers that the “policy” he canceled, before his major surgery, was his “funeral arrangements.” His memory care facility is telling me that I should be making funeral arrangements for him now. As DPOA can I make funeral arrangements? Should I bring his sisters with me? They are devout practicing Catholics. My dad, my family and I are Catholic but don’t attend church.
I never even thought about it. Moms funeral was prepaid. The funeral director picked her up and did the rest.
Thank you.
Contact the VA as well and find out what he is entitled to. It may be a headstone with a plaque on it or if you already have a headstone a bronze piece can be attached to the headstone you have. Some of the cemeteries are over filled and you may have to travel some distance for the closest available one.
Something to research though.
You absolutely can handle everything, I would ask the court about her being involved during a divorce she initiated. I don't think she will be considered next of kin at this point. But a letter to the judge will clarify this and give you peace of mind.
Wow, what a lot you have on your plate. Big hugs!
Can you explain any other options please, isthisreallyreal? Thanks, appreciate it.
He is still alive but it’s one thing I don’t have to worry about. There are dozens of other things when you’re the caregiver.
https://theprobatepro.com/what-is-a-guardian-ad-litem/
"The court appoints the Guardian ad Litem to gather information about the administration of the estate, to protect legally incapacitated individuals, and to represent minors in all sorts of probate proceedings...
It is important to contact an experienced probate attorney immediately if the probate court appoints a Guardian ad Litem."
I am wondering if your court-appointed Guardian ad Litem for his divorce might carry over after your Dad dies if the divorce has not been finalized. Maybe you can check with your attorney about your responsibilities as your Dad's Guardian ad Litem at the time of his death.
We are having a quiet family service at the cemetery in another state, and I'll take care of the ashes when the road to the top is open and snow all gone. The more they do, the more the cost. She has outlived her friends, so I see no need for a service. The excellent reason to pre-pay and arrange things, is you do it without the emotions of death and loss, and confusion. I told family that could drive and wanted some closure, and one disagreed with something. Luckily Aunt Rose had expressed her wishes in one of those notarized papers we gave to NH about end-of -life stuff. Sorry, I am still reeling from 2 back-to-back family deaths the end of March, and confused even about what to eat! My aunt got Pneumonia suddenly, and died just 9 days after I prepaid. I was with her, and had the funeral home # for nurse to call.
Catholic church accepts cremation now, but someone else will have to explain that. My Dad was WWII, wanted a funeral, and a few that were still left alive in the area Pearl Harbor Survivors came into the church to play taps. I cried, and do not know what else they did. It was all prearranged by Mum and Dad. Hugs! It's not easy, and plan ahead helps a lot. Bring a friend.
My in laws are in a National cemetary. For the one they are in you must be cremated but I have been told not all require that. When ur buried in a NC the plot, plaque, and the burial are free. You pay for the funeral homes services. Either cremation or getting the body ready for burial. If you want a viewing or service, that is at your expense. The service the Military supplies is really nice and we went with that with a nice luncheon after.
To be in the reserves, your Dad had to have been in the service. As such, he should qualify for a plot in a County VA cemetery. Unlike a NC, I think you pay for the plot to be open. Not sure if the plot is free but the plaque is. He will get a ceremony by the Military rep too. These are all questions to ask the funeral director.
I can't understand how if wife had an insurance policy on him how he was able to cancel it. I would think she had been paying premiums, then only she could cancel it.
and
Apparently, his wife forged his signature and yes, he was able to cancel it. She was furious because apparently she had been secretly paying premiums.
For the Church side of things, call the office and ask about making an appointment. For this, you will likely want your sisters involved considering their devotion. You can plan the order of service, the hymns, prayers etc with the Priest. Does the church do the funeral tea? You may not be able to prepay for these services, but you can ask. Mum's church does not charge a fee for preforming a funeral, but there is a custodian fee, and you pay the organist too.