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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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Ideally, there is a living will or health directive. That would be very useful here. The home is likely doing what they need to do until they have doctor's orders to do otherwise, but if she is unresponsive this seems wrong. A doctor needs to be notified.
Is your mother on hospice care? I'd highly recommend you look into that if she is not. They will be a big help in getting you through this.
I'd have to see the patient here. "Unresponsive" could mean different things to different people. I personally would keep up the spoon-feeding as long as possible. The doctor should definitely be notified in case a feeding tube is ordered. This could be a nasal tube or a stomach tube. Keep trying the spoon first.
Good point about the "unresponsive" word. My thought was that she is unable to swallow well and just lying there, nearly comatose. If it just means that she isn't mentally interacting, that is an entirely different matter. This needs a doctor's attention, as well as knowledge of the wishes of the elder. Is she near death or just not socially responding? That's the real issue.
Unresponsive - does not open eyes, does not speak, they put spoon to mouth literally, she opens out of reflex. They prop her in wheelchair where she droops over. There is hospice. There is advanced directive. She does not ask for food. We have asked, why do you feed her - they respond it gives her comfort. She asked for NO unnecessary measures to keep her alive. She is 80. She is near death. Bedsores are starting. She weighs 85#.
How can this give her comfort? I'm surprised she is swallowing without problems. It seems what is bothering you is that this seems against what she wanted. Did she have a living will or health directive in writing?
I'm surprise that hospice is supporting this, since she is near death. My mother absolutely didn't want food when she was in a similar situation. Her organs were shutting down and food made her gag. She was dying and she died very peacefully under the care of Hospice of the Red River Valley.
By the way, the home should be turning her very often, as she is so thin, and sores will be forming quickly. They turned my parents very often during their last days, to prevent sores. The nursing home and hospice worked together seemlessly.
If your mom is on hospice you can tell them to stop feeding her. Hospice care is palliative care not restorative care. i don't understand what is wrong with this particular hospice. They are setting her up for aspiration pneumonia by forcing her to swallow food when she is so weak. They SHOULD NOT be doing this. And forcing food on her is not comforting to her. She should also not be forced to sit in a chair. She should be left in bed and repositioned every hour.
Has a speech therapist done an assestment to see if she is really able to swallow they could put in an NG tube and feed her that they did for my husband years ago when he was mostly unresponsive but this last time he was in a comma which got deeper as the hours went on the days before we took him off lifesupport meds and would not have been able to swollow does her doc know how much it upsets you to see them feeding her in this manner and she should be on an air mattress and turned at least every two hrs if not more and a wound care nurse should be involved and nourishment can be given by IV's or a feeding tube would be better at this point.
This patient needs to be in a HOSPITAL, not a hospice, and not a nursing home. She needs to be under a physician's care. Go up, not down on this patient. The nursing home doctor should recommend the transport to the hospital.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Is your mother on hospice care? I'd highly recommend you look into that if she is not. They will be a big help in getting you through this.
Take care,
Carol
Good comment, NIK2R3.
Carol
I'm surprise that hospice is supporting this, since she is near death. My mother absolutely didn't want food when she was in a similar situation. Her organs were shutting down and food made her gag. She was dying and she died very peacefully under the care of Hospice of the Red River Valley.
By the way, the home should be turning her very often, as she is so thin, and sores will be forming quickly. They turned my parents very often during their last days, to prevent sores. The nursing home and hospice worked together seemlessly.
Carol
Carol
Carol
Go up, not down on this patient. The nursing home doctor should recommend the transport to the hospital.