She has to be coaxed into taking a bath when she soils herself; it has even been found on the floor, smeared on the commode in the bathroom, she denies that she did it. I get so flustered at times and this is when I consider placing her in a home. There are no one else who can assist me, and this sometimes have me very stressed. She does not appear to like anyone and is anti-social. Any suggestions?
I have a feeling you may have to be firm with her. Firm but not angry. When my Mom has wet accidents -she sometimes pees before I have time to get her from her wheel chair pants down to the toilet-she gets so embarrassed and I just tell her to relax - it happens! Heck if I cough too hard -it happens! But she is not hiding it and she is very upset by it.
The hiding part would be hard. Doubleedge had good suggestions! I would not make her feel bad -tell her it happens and she should not be afraid to tell you but then tell her you are upset when you find them hidden. When she goes and tells you be sure to thank her. Heck, I almost want to say give her a treat. That is what we do for our girl but I know elders are different than kids. But maybe? Does she have a favorite candy? Can you give her a piece of her favorite candy every time she tells you she needs help with a change or does a successful one herself? I don't know if that would offend her so if I am way off on that I apologize!!
Good luck. I know it is hard. Also-be sure to keep her diet healthy so the BMs are easier to clean up. When my girl has too much junk food and not enough fiber it makes clean up all the harder. -harder to get off the skin-if that is not too graphic - and it smells a lot worse. . And , I have noticed with our girl, when she does get into it is when she has a hard movement. Maybe your Aunt needs some added fiber supplement?