My mother in law has been in assisted living for 3 weeks she was living alone and had been in the same home for 70. Years she has dementia and sundowners she is taking meds for anxiety but she seems so miserable and lonley. Just wanting to be anywhere but there she has family there daily. And many outings for meals etc she can't remember who what or whenshe just wants out..the grown grandchildren day she is so unhappy we take her to a activities and she enjoys are we visiting to much? we just want her to be happy she has been a very independent woman I think that is what she misses not sure what to say when she wants out we tell her it's the best place any advice would be so appreciated
It is usually suggested to limit the visits during the first 3 months so that the resident can get into a daily routine with bath, breakfast, morning activities/physical therapy, lunch, afternoon activities, dinner, evening activities. And if Mom-in-law prefers to stay in her room and watch TV, that's ok, too. Let her make the choices.
Also at 99, Mom-in-law probably gets very tired if there is too much company or going out, so when she gets back to the facility, she probably heads to her room for a much needed nap :)
My Dad, who is in his 90's, lives in a senior living facility and has been there since this past January. Dad has caregivers who come in every other day in the mornings to help with whatever he needs, and take him to another floor for physical therapy, take him to doctor appointments, hair cuts, etc. Then in the afternoon, Dad is happy as a clam just watching TV, napping, and catching up on his reading. Then he will join his table mates for dinner in the main dining room.
I would also make sure that the staff know the extent of her dementia. She isn't likely to know where to go and what to do. Even in the Regular AL, they would accommodate those with dementia by getting them to the dining room and other rooms for events and activities. If she's being left behind, I'd address that. Keep an idea to ensure they are able to provide her the care she needs. If they are not a Dementia Unit, they may not have those skills or provide that kind of care.
And, I would keep in mind that a certain amount of her being discontented might be expected. I would read a lot about dementia. Often dementia patients are not happy and content. They often are miserable, but they are also miserable in their own home, since they may be confused, afraid and angry that things are different in their mind. There's nothing much we can do, but comfort them and try to make them feel loved while we are there. I hope thing go well.