What if they meet all or many criteria except one or two? Who has moved a ALZ stage 6 parent to a new facility? What issues did you face?
There is some back story here but..
God this is watching death by a thousand cuts. And you are helpless. I do not wish on worst enemy.
I have had to take a break from being a positive contributor, to a very depressed one. I am sorry. Whatever you can add I am appreciative of. And I am sorry.
As far as I know, the only qualification for hospice is that the patient must have a life limiting ill mess that without treatment will lead to death in 6 months or less.
Have you asked about palliative care services?
There came a point where it became clear that there was nothing that could be done that would "fix" what was going on with my mom; she had too many co- morbidities. Dragging her out of her NH to doctors or God forbid having her hospitalized was making matters worse. My brother would not consider Hospice so we compromised with Palliative care. It doesn't get you the extra services that hospice does, but it's treatment only for symptoms, not for cure.
So, no transporting to the hospital except if explicitly authorized by us. If pneumonia, they would treat conservatively " in house". It worked until we had to transition to hospice, after a fall.
Hospice, is not a " solution". It won't mean that mom's suffering is instantly over. I understand how unbearably hard this is to watch, Sego. I think we all want things to be " over" for our loved ones, but we don't get to choose that.
Is there a social worker at the facility who is helping to facilitate your mom's care? Sometimes talking to the SW can be helpful in getting perspective.
I'm sorry that you're so stressed. Please understand that we are all trying to help, not judge you.
I live on the same “effing planet” you do. I have read your most recent posts, and quite frankly, they are worrisome. You give little detail about what’s going on. If in some far off, furious stretch of your imagination, you assumed I was telling you that you need to seek professional help because you sound crazy, you couldn’t be more wrong. How do you know I was referring to a psychiatrist? I suggested a social worker. They offer professional help too, don’t they?
I have never, in all my years on this board, been accused of mounting a personal attack on anyone who posts. Quite the opposite. I have received many kind messages of thanks and appreciation for my advice and I have great satisfaction in knowing that I have helped people.
You are waaaay off base here, Segoline. You have completely and thoroughly misunderstood my intentions and post. Your fury is totally without grounds. I promise you that I will never again respond to any other post you write. Good day and good luck to YOU.
You are among veterans of this battle. We understand and we love you.
We’re here to listen, but you need to be proactive and get some help before you crash and burn. If your family is not supporting each other or you, consider professional help.
1,000 cuts... end of life was excruciating. This hospice didn't allow or have injectibles, or perhaps that is what I requested on DNR SHEET... Double check that DNR..
I ended up crushing morphine pills, nurse forgot to tell me or I was just numb to the fact that I needed to add a bit of water and ATIVAN to the mix. Smear it on the inside of mouth.. NOt fun at all...
Well, It isn't fun, we didn't sign up for this, but we love them and we must do this very depressing thing in watching your loved one go.... YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT ALONE... You are allowed to feel this way.
And when the final moment your loved one is liberated from this ailing body, you too will feel a sense of relief. It's a sad relief, but you know they are not suffering anymore, they love you and they know it was reciprocated.
My family has given me signs from the other side. Pretty awesome, you will know when you ask them for a sign. It comes pretty quickly... You know you don't have to say it out loud, ask quietly from within works too.
Sending you good thoughts. And thank you.
You are kinder than I probably deserve. And I thank you for your largesse.
you are entitled to your feelings. I know you are in the midst of something gut wrenching and I know exactly how I felt when my MIL entered hospice and I don’t wish it on anyone so my heart goes out to you. I do not want to upset you further so we will leave it at this :)
Also when it comes to moving Alzheimer’s patients into a memory care units it is imperative to do your research on the company & their memory care unit as well. Also please visit the facility before placing her there because you want to make sure she’s getting the best care possible. One last thing you may want to slowly transition her into a new facility, instead of just bring her & dropping her off. Inquiry about day programs to get her used to the facility, to see how well she adapts to the new environment as well.