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Brother is now taking control over mums care mum may now give him POA but his wife is a golddigger and was kicked out of house for stealing mums money my friend says we can protest for these reasons?? I just want to protect mum from her claws.
Kaazza, isn't this the chance you've been hoping for and waiting for and wishing for? To totally get out of the caregiving position? Why do you care that your brother's wife is a golddigger? There apparently hasn't been enough gold to have outsiders take care of Mom.
If Mom is competent to name a POA, she can name anyone she chooses. And she isn't naming her daughter-in-law. On what grounds could you protest this?
Please, take this opportunity to extricate yourself from this position that has been distressing you for so long.
Talk to your MOM, not the courts. Tell her what you've told us and see what she says. Even though she has some level of dementia, that does NOT mean she can't make that decision. A doctor explained it to me this way: Maggie, yes, your mom has dementia. She doesn't know what day it is or who's the president. But that absolutely does NOT mean that she doesn't understand IN THE MOMENT, and though she may not remember her decision? She can still make a good one."
Talk to mom. Help her draw up a POA naming someone else if it concerns you. It would me, since I believe that old adage that a woman is often the power behind the throne.
kaazzaa, what is it you want with this post? If your mother is competent, she can assign anyone she wants to be her POA. Didn't you say that a psychiatrist declared that she doesn't even have dementia? I would think finding her to be incompetent would be hard. So, who would you protest to? She can make her own decision. You don't have to like it, but that is the way it is.
But based on previous posts I would think you would like it. Don't you want to be free of responsibility for her?
Get on with your own life now. And best wishes to you!
Judge not, folks - this is a tremendous upheaval for someone, regardless, and if they are not posting their best posts right now, it would reflect the sheer terror of an unknown future as well as the sense of injustice. The truth will out.
Why would you even protest it? Someone please tell me what I am missing?
HER mother threw her out! She does not want to give her POA!
Kaz, why can't you just let this go and get YOU together? All of your siblings are now there to help. It is no longer up to you. Something is very amiss.. Mum would rather anyone be her POA but you. You haven't been a able to convince all of your mums dr that she has dementia, you haven't convinced your siblings and you've certainly not convinced you mum. Yet YOU claim she has it and when your mum found out you were telling everyone she was nuts.... she tossed you out.
Oh, stay my answer. You absolutely can't have it both ways, Kaz. If mom was too dementia'd to "throw you out," as Jeanette remembers, then she's most certainly too dementia'd to sign a new one.
If you are fighting all of your siblings, then there most definitely IS something amiss.
What are your motives, Kaz? Were you staying at her home rent free in exchange for care giving mom either didn't want or need? Were you using her money as your own? I don't know the ins-and-outs, but if all of your siblings are united in this newest decision? You need to back off.
And if you're trying to convince her doctors that she has dementia and they don't agree? I'd venture to say you're wrong. There's dementia and there's legal incompetence. Two different animals. If doctors aren't even willing to diagnose dementia, you sure won't get an incompetence diagnosis out of them.
I sleep well because I love my mother and my mother loves me and I know down to the depths of my soul that being with Mom now is where God wants me.I sleep well because I know I am a good, loving, thoughtful and generous person. I'm sure not perfect, but my heart is full of love, not hate.
I do not sleep very well mom is usually up 3 times a night...you see, she hallucinates and thinks someone is out to kill her. My 13 year old dog sleeps with her every night. She protects her.
Life is hard enough.... I try t make my mother's life enjoyable...so far, she's a happy camper.
kazzaa, I've tried to stay neutral and just report posts that are not helpful to the group. I have gotten to the point that I feel you are abusing the good will of this group. I hope you will take this opportunity to get back on your feet and leave your family and this group in peace. Your problems go beyond the scope of caregiving and I don't think anybody could offer any better advice than has already been given -- move on, get a job and take care of yourself. And please stop disrupting threads in the group. There are people posting that get drowned out in all the drama. I now feel the Dysfunctional Family thread is ruined -- quite an accomplishment, since it has lasted a few years now. I hope people will revive it and make it useful again.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If Mom is competent to name a POA, she can name anyone she chooses. And she isn't naming her daughter-in-law. On what grounds could you protest this?
Please, take this opportunity to extricate yourself from this position that has been distressing you for so long.
Talk to mom. Help her draw up a POA naming someone else if it concerns you. It would me, since I believe that old adage that a woman is often the power behind the throne.
But based on previous posts I would think you would like it. Don't you want to be free of responsibility for her?
Get on with your own life now. And best wishes to you!
HER mother threw her out! She does not want to give her POA!
Kaz, why can't you just let this go and get YOU together? All of your siblings are now there to help. It is no longer up to you. Something is very amiss.. Mum would rather anyone be her POA but you. You haven't been a able to convince all of your mums dr that she has dementia, you haven't convinced your siblings and you've certainly not convinced you mum. Yet YOU claim she has it and when your mum found out you were telling everyone she was nuts.... she tossed you out.
Am I missing something?
If you are fighting all of your siblings, then there most definitely IS something amiss.
What are your motives, Kaz? Were you staying at her home rent free in exchange for care giving mom either didn't want or need? Were you using her money as your own? I don't know the ins-and-outs, but if all of your siblings are united in this newest decision? You need to back off.
And if you're trying to convince her doctors that she has dementia and they don't agree? I'd venture to say you're wrong. There's dementia and there's legal incompetence. Two different animals. If doctors aren't even willing to diagnose dementia, you sure won't get an incompetence diagnosis out of them.
I agree. What am I missing?
Life is hard enough.... I try t make my mother's life enjoyable...so far, she's a happy camper.
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