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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I am in medical field, a medical provider. He is neglecting her, exploiting her, dumped her on two unprofessional untrained women who boss me around with his consent & encouragement; one assaulted me!
I filed to have her arrested at Magistrate, but put case on hold; she’ll get exposed to Covid, get out, take virus back to my mom. My mom likes her as she lets my mom do whatever (mom has severe Alzheimers) Major control and jeolousy issues with bro.
APS does not want to be involved; came to see her once, chatted briefly without mom’s hearing aide, stated they do not go inside house (to see sparce groceries in refrig. Major power play between my brother & I (he could give a crap about her....wants her to hurry up & die $$$) scared them off
in her own home with your brother in her own home not with your brother, but with 2 x live in aides in her own home alone, with aides visiting her in your brother's home somewhere else?
Neither APS nor the judge - if this gets as far as an application for guardianship - will be interested in getting between you and your brother. Their focus will solely be on your mother's welfare, and they will be guided by what they can learn of your mother's own wishes and preferences.
Among many other factors, though, they will want to uphold your mother's right to a relationship with all of her children. If your brother prevents you from communicating with her, or if in future you were to prevent him from seeing her, that would be a demerit from the court's point of view and they would have the power to give guardianship to somebody else altogether.
She lives in her own house by herself except for two sitters; had only PM sitter; since stroke first sitter brought in one of her daughter’s buddies. No cameras, no valuables secured; its a free for all. She had a stroke on top of Alzheimers 10 days ago due to Bro declining transport. I had to watch the stroke evolve to where she can barely talk, walk swollow. She was finally taken 8 days after stroke started to ER; CT & MRI confirmed stroke. Bro has POA & shows up occ. Two unqualified sitters are there since stroke 24/7 now & do NOT like me coming over! They are encouraged to be hateful, ignore any questions. The 3 are a team coaching my mother daily to keep me away! I have to call for a police escort when she begs me to come over. Then once I get there the coaching begins via bro on phone with mom, lead sitter shows up & sitter already there & I am told by police to not step foot on property. I even have it recorded my mom telling me she wants me to come over (5 min. before police arrive)! My mother is incompetent & easily coachable,
Well, you called APS and that didn't work. Magistrate is involved and that didn't work. And it sounds as though you have sufficiently beaten down any logical suggestions. When finally you said that your Mother likes her caregivers because they "let her do anything", I think we have the answer we need. Your mother is in the care of your brother to whom she gave POA. She is happy enough with her caregivers, whatever your judgement of them is. They let her do what she wants? Good for her! For an elder to be torn between children is a terrible thing. Here they are in a fragile state with an absolute was going on. I can't imagine anything more distressing. How about a try at this? A letter to your brother saying "I have had a change of heart; this must be awful for Mom. How about I offer you my help. I can do respite care for Mom. I can do shopping. I make a great casserole. Can I cook for her a few nights a week? Do you need help getting Mom to appointments? Any supplies I can get sent in for you? I would love to visit, even if a monitored visit, and I promise to make it happy and pleasant for Mom and all involved. I won't interfere with the care you have set up. I hope we can mend our relationship." At the very least that might just shock him to death. Here's the thing, and I don't know you, or your situation, so honestly I cannot judge it. But your Mom, as things stand, is being torn in two by her kids; that sort of thing is just a red flag for me as I was a nurse and there were times I saw kids literally arguing over the helpless body of their parents. It was dreadful. Please find another way, for the sake of the love you bear your Mom.
I agree with Cali’s first response. File for guardianship and do so immediately.
8 days to be seen for stroke symptoms is unacceptable. Aids hitting you is unacceptable. Your brother’s alienation and neglect of your mother is unacceptable.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If you were assaulted, that should be reported to the police.
Major control and jeolousy issues with bro.
If what you say is actually happening then you should call Adult Protective Services and file a complaint with them to protect your mom.
Major power play between my brother & I (he could give a crap about her....wants her to hurry up & die $$$) scared them off
in her own home with your brother
in her own home not with your brother, but with 2 x live in aides
in her own home alone, with aides visiting her
in your brother's home
somewhere else?
Neither APS nor the judge - if this gets as far as an application for guardianship - will be interested in getting between you and your brother. Their focus will solely be on your mother's welfare, and they will be guided by what they can learn of your mother's own wishes and preferences.
Among many other factors, though, they will want to uphold your mother's right to a relationship with all of her children. If your brother prevents you from communicating with her, or if in future you were to prevent him from seeing her, that would be a demerit from the court's point of view and they would have the power to give guardianship to somebody else altogether.
When finally you said that your Mother likes her caregivers because they "let her do anything", I think we have the answer we need.
Your mother is in the care of your brother to whom she gave POA. She is happy enough with her caregivers, whatever your judgement of them is. They let her do what she wants? Good for her!
For an elder to be torn between children is a terrible thing. Here they are in a fragile state with an absolute was going on. I can't imagine anything more distressing.
How about a try at this?
A letter to your brother saying "I have had a change of heart; this must be awful for Mom. How about I offer you my help. I can do respite care for Mom. I can do shopping. I make a great casserole. Can I cook for her a few nights a week? Do you need help getting Mom to appointments? Any supplies I can get sent in for you? I would love to visit, even if a monitored visit, and I promise to make it happy and pleasant for Mom and all involved. I won't interfere with the care you have set up. I hope we can mend our relationship."
At the very least that might just shock him to death. Here's the thing, and I don't know you, or your situation, so honestly I cannot judge it. But your Mom, as things stand, is being torn in two by her kids; that sort of thing is just a red flag for me as I was a nurse and there were times I saw kids literally arguing over the helpless body of their parents. It was dreadful. Please find another way, for the sake of the love you bear your Mom.
8 days to be seen for stroke symptoms is unacceptable. Aids hitting you is unacceptable. Your brother’s alienation and neglect of your mother is unacceptable.
Good luck and please keep us posted.