On Dec 22, 2022 my mother was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor (astrocytoma). After 14 months of trying any & everything possible to prolong her life, she sadly succumbed to her illness this past February. A beautiful life taken way too early. Within 3 years we lost my father (June 2, 2022), my 21 year-old nephew in a car accident (2022), another nephew (age 25, suicide), my brother (age 45, liver failure) and my grandfather at the age of 102.
So I have my sister who is my only blood relative left and she is now 48 and in a wheel chair with diabetes.
I myself cannot afford to have my mother buried with her mother, husband, father, mother and children. This has all been so much these last few years. I want to so bad keep all of us together, but I am asking anyone if they know any programs that can help me finance burial to keep our family together. Any help with a phone number or website would be greatly appreciated.
No, I’ve not come across anything that helps pay the cost of burial. Funeral parlors tend to provide a package deal, but you should be able to contract separately for a service, coffin, and the cremation or burial. If you decide on cremation, choose the cheapest coffin. We did, and covered it with our M's bedcover - it felt like she had gone to sleep, very consoling. Remember that it makes no difference at all to M or to God, only to you, so don't go for swank. Our M strongly objected to 'show off' funerals anyway - she went along with the book 'The American Way of Death'.
You have my sincere sympathy for the loss of so many family members.
I don't have a good answer, I just do know if you donate your body to science, they will cremate you for free and give your ashes back to your family, a few months later. But that is moot now, so not helpful
Best of luck to you.
https://www.reddit.com/r/UnethicalLifeProTips/comments/14uekl3/ulpt_request_how_to_bury_ashes_without_permission/?rdt=57771
Can you please clarify...has your Mom been cremated? Or is she still whole and waiting?
I would contact social services for your county and ask about programs that would help with the costs. Or, contact crematoriums and ask if they can offer any resources for such.
Many churches and places of worship have benevolent funds and you can ask for help, even if you are not that denomination or even a person of faith. My small church has this and would certainly help someone like yourself.
If your Mom is already cremated... we discretely released a small amount of my Aunt's ashes in the ocean away from people, along with flowers and petals, at a beach that had meaning to her and our family. Others here have given good guidance. May you receive peace in your heart.
"Burial Assistance
When families need help arranging their loved ones’ final resting place, Hennepin County can help.
The Burial Assistance Program can assist with final expenses when families don’t have the resources to do so themselves. Hennepin County workers will help you assess your eligibility for burial and other expenses.
Requirements and limitations:
Applications must be submitted within 14 days of the date of death;
the county will not reimburse payments already made.
See immediate burial policy.
All assets must be applied to the county maximum payment of $3,000.
Total costs of burial/cremation must not exceed $5,000."
https://www.hennepin.us/en/residents/human-services/burial-assistance
So, there might a time deadline you need to be aware of.
I am, first of all, so very, very sorry for your loss. It is very hard to have so much loss in quick succession.
I myself, as a retired RN, and an atheist, don't have a lot of tradition around death and after death traditions. While my parents were believers, they also had no wishes other than cremation and scattering of ashes. My last loss was my beloved brother who also had no wishes. So my family is somewhat "scattered to the winds" in different states of our country.
We are all different in what comforts us, and in our wishes, and old cemeteries are much beloved by me; I have walked them in many countries. Highgate in London and Pere Lachaise in Paris are my favorites. So while a practitioner of tradition, I do love it.
If it can be any comfort to you, I also love Thomas Lynch who has spent his life as a Funeral Director and is also a poet. His words for me regarding death is a comfort in that he says that once someone has died there is nothing you can do FOR him, ABOUT him, WITH him, or TO him that will make the slightest difference.
When you think about it, it's true.
But on the other hand there is "comfort" in our wishes. And comfort is about all those of us left have to cling to. I hope you will find a way that you can visit your family if the one left alone without them.
I wish you the best.
Talk to a funeral director. My State does have something for indigent people.