I am feeling totally burned out these past several weeks in caring for my 93 yr old mother that uses a walker but needs help dressing and using the toilet. My sister works from 7:00 a.m. thru 9:00 p.m. nightly and can't help share work with me. I am 64 and need hips replacement.
Shaking, tell us a bit more about your mother's medical conditions, what kind of assistive devices are in the home (yours or hers?), if you can afford private duty help, whether there are any other family members, etc.
Shaking, I don’t recall your previous posts, but have you checked out aide’s to help, or alternate placement? I know what it’s like to need HR. I had one replaced and am heading for another. Hubby is my anchor as I can not afford respite care for him if I did. But, anyway, talk to your sister and tell her you need help. Now. She won’t know if you don’t chat with her about it. She’s her mother too, after all. Speak up and get some help.
I'm so sorry to hear how you feel. I know how hard it is when you feel left alone in the caregiving. I know its hard on your sister too working long hours. She probably doesn't have much in the tank left after such long days. Have you considered talking to a social worker to get more supports in the community or through church? It might be time to consider assisted living or a nursing home for your mom. Or try to hire more caregivers or look at respite care.
I, too felt burned out, but kept going which I recognized in hindsight was a terrible mistake. I hope you can get the help you need. Please know we are with you.
Take care. Thinking of you.
In your case, I'd get on the phone and talk to whoever will listen to you. Call her doctor, call her attorney, call her pastor - call anyone who might have an idea what to do. And follow through on what they tell you - even though a lot of answers you get will bring forth even more questions. You personally cannot go on like this. Your mom will be in crisis immediately if you have to get your hips fixed or if you even got so much as a bad cold & could not care for her.