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Mom has dementia.

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Not just can, but should. The examples you gave are mom's private business and just because she has to share with POA to get the help she needs doesn't mean everyone gets to know.
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Reply to Slartibartfast
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First, do you know for sure that the person is actually the PoA? In many states the PoA is not required to prove they are the PoA by producing the paperwork. It usually requires a letter from an elder law attorney threatening to make them show it to a judge. But this is DEFCON 2 territory so you'd need a very very good reason to take it this far. And also because you'll be paying the attorney whether it is fruitful or not.

Social services (and court-assigned legal guardians) won't show family members this info either, no matter how they're related to the elder. When my SFIL became a ward his guardian immediately changed all the access to his accounts that I'd been managing, without any warning. Not that I cared -- I was glad to be done with that responsibility. Their job is to protect their ward, including their privacy. This is the same for the PoA.
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Reply to Geaton777
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BreezyStarr2025 Mar 5, 2026
Your insightful response help me in my situation POA for my aunt. The privacy perspective was my concern. My aunt never shared her wishes to others when they would ask her. I didn't believe it was by job. Now that her heth is declining rapidly. The POA will be null & void. However she has already added my name as beneficiary. Again Thank you for your response
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Yes.
The POA for Health is under no obligation to share any information. As a matter of fact to share information is a violation of HIPAA regulations.
The POA for Finance is under no obligation to share financial information. Fiduciary laws are also strict. They (the POA) are obligated to protect financial information.

If you think there is a problem you can contact an Elder Care Attorney and express your concerns.
If you think there is financial abuse you can report your concerns to your States Elder Abuse number.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Yes.
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Reply to Rosered6
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Unfortunately, yes they can. In addition, the institutions associated with the holder of POA such as a bank, medical staff or other workers would not be at liberty to release such information.


Sadly, it can leave out loving and caring family members. It can also leave you wondering if they have something nefarious to hide.


I believe the only way around it is to hire a lawyer and seek advice. I also believe most actions they may take involve a lot of time, so be prepared.
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Reply to AppleBlossom
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Leesabrown Mar 5, 2026
Well my brother who is POA is also an attorney. So there’s that!
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Yes, they have confidentiality obligations.
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Reply to MG8522
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Yes.
Your mom's financial affairs are no one's business, except for the person she chose to designate as POA. If you suspect that person of abusing their role to take advantage of mom's finances, then you can try taking it to court, but you'd better be prepared to show evidence of wrongdoing.

As for DNR, that is something which should be posted, clearly, near the patient, for ALL to see. It is typically on red or orange paper to stand out.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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Yes.
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Reply to JustAnon
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Yes. Personal information should not be shared by POA who acts on Mom’s behalf.
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Reply to Patathome01
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I see no problem in a POA confirming that a DNR is in place. A Will, POAs have nothing to do with Wills because POA stops at death and the Executor then takes over. But I see no problem saying one is in place. But investments and banking, they cannot share that info.

HIPAA has nothing to do with family sharing info. It has to do with providers and them not allowing to share your information unless u allow it. Thats why in a doctors office you have to sign off that its OK for them to share your info with your insurance company or another doctor or facility.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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