I am at the end of my rope I can't do it anymore. I know that sounds terrible but she is mean, hateful, lies and plays games. I have taken care of her for 16 years never taking a dime while my sister has taken money from her all the time. I have taken care of her longer than she took care of me, she started charging me rent at 15.
So..forget evict. She is considered a resident if she got Mail there...doesn't matter that she didn't pay rent.
Your only course is to follow the law concerning the termination of a resident. Give her notice to move. Only after she fails to move do you then have an acceptable reason to evict: "Hold-over"
You can go get a lawyer and pay a lot of money..and a lot of delays...but the process will remain the same, just you pay a bunch more.
Lincoln freed the slaves, you don't have to be a slave. There is freedom somewhere. Just be sure you are doing everything legally. If you are in California, remember that babysitter who wouldn't leave? The homeowners tried to do things themselves, and it didn't work because they didn't do it legally.
Tiredburnedout: the sooner you act, the better for both yourself and your mother. You must get one of the lawyers - yours or your mother's - to make a practical evaluation of your mother's assets and income in order to work out a plan for how she is going to support herself for the rest of her days. In doing so you can build in a protection for her against the depredations of your sister.
Then you must set the boundaries for both your own living space and your finances: after a dated deadline (eg 30 days or whatever is mutually agreed), there has to be an enforceable either/or: so either your mother stays and pays full rent, including for common services like water supply and yard upkeep, or she packs up and leaves, paying for her own removal expenses.
If your mother leaves, whether or not your sister continues to dun her for money will no longer be your problem.
if your mother stays, you can make it a condition that no payments can be made to your sister before all rental commitments, including utility bills, yard maintenance, local taxes etc etc have been paid in full. You could even set up a joint account for this.
You should have charged all along - maybe just add up costs of food, power, cable, phone, water/sewer & taxes but not rent for those years & itemize them as years etc if you can otherwise do a good estimate - give her the bill with 10 days to pay otherwise leave - video her while you're giving it to her as then you will be able to claim that against her estate when time comes - when/if she refuses to pay you then you can have her evicted a persona non grata
Why doesn't your sister take since she has no problem taking her money?
If I were you I would put her in a taxi and give the driver your sister's address
if this is possible.
No one needs to be treated bad by a mother.
There is definitely something wrong going on there.
No you are not a bad person for wanting to be rid of a burden
as long she is mentally stable.
Best of luck
I agree that you have been to some degree an enabler or codependent, but how could that be otherwise with someone who has an obligation to a parent? It is good that you are finally drawing some boundaries for yourself. I agree that things will get messy, but I hope not only for your sake, but for the sake of everyone that you stand your ground.
Your sister sounds like a real stinker. I hope she gets the message, and if she sides with your mom, then neither of them should ever be allowed inside your own home again.
The suggestion to call the police for a psych evaluation might not be a bad one either. It wouldn't hurt to have law enforcement see things YOUR way.
Typically you must give written notice of so many days. This can be as long as 3 months in some states. This is not an eviction notice. This is just a normal notice to terminate a tenancy.
If your Mom is still there on that day after the notice expires...now you decide if you want to proceed to an actual eviction. If the answer is yes...you go to the local count house and you file for evictions, ,the reason given is "hold over". You will be given a court date to appear. You pay the court costs and the cost of the court process server to serve your Mom. Go to court on the appointed day and have a judge hear your case.
You can expect life to get REALLY ugly with Mom once You begin this. But..it is the only legal way to remove her if she will not/cannot willingly go.
This may be the only way to impress on Mom that you are serious about this. Maybe sister too will "get it".
Let me say...there might be another way.... call the police when Mom is going off on you. Have her taken for a psych evaluation...then, do not let the hospital discharge her to your home. You are under no obligation to take her...but they will try to pressure you like crazy. Their social workers will find a placement for her if you refuse.
What sort of care do you provide for your mom? If you stopped "doing" for her, would that ease the stress at all?
Have you called APS and reported your sister's financial abuse?
Have you considered charging mom rent, starting right now?
What are the options?
What are her other options?