My father has Alzheimer, lives by himself with help from sitter (48 hrs weekly) and the power of attorney which is his caregiver, except at night which he is alone. He cannot bath, cook or daily living- all he is able to do is sit, he can feed himself after food is brought to him, and can use the toilet by himself. The Alzheimer disease has progressed. The power of attorney cannot get him in assistant living or nursing or skilled nursing home. He has Medicare and 2 supplements, SSI but not Medicaid. Nursing home guide line says he doesn't qualify because he can still walk and doesn't have Medicaid for long term care. The power of attorney which is his caregiver no longer wants to care for him or give up the right of his power of attorney. It was suggested He(my dad) come to live with me, and I would have no rights since the power of attorney is unwilling to sign over the rights. Is this a reasonable request. Why can he not get into a skilled nursing home if he is unable to safely stay in his home? any suggestions and thanks
The request (politely described) for you to care for your father, w/o proxy authority and subject to that of the existing proxy, is unreasonable, completely unreasonable in my opinion. It would create an intractable dilemma and dysfunctional working "relationship."
This is an awkward situation, and one which puts pressure on you to consider applying for guardianship. I've thought as I read these kinds of posts in the past how difficult it is when a family member is put in this situation.
I will state up front that this is just a thought that's crossed my mind, and one which should be discussed with an attorney. It is that the proxy has authority to enter into contracts, so perhaps he/she could enter into one which either shares or transfers enough power that you can manage care for your father, whether at home or in an appropriate facility.
I'm sure this suggestion will be dismissed by other posters b/c the proxy doesn't have authority to transfer the power, but in reading the DPOA prepared for my father by a highly qualified estate planning attorney, I in fact would have authority to enter into contracts for care. And I have when necessary. I believe that could be interpreted to mean contracting with someone, whether a relative or a care agency.
Attorneys can be very creative w/i the limits of documents and the law, when necessary.
Perhaps there's a new way to view these seemingly intractable situations, but I definitely would have an attorney review the situation and draft any agreements that he/she might feel could accomplish a subcontracting of power, w/o the existing proxy holding the reins and you providing the literal horsepower.
As to the issue of not being able to get into a facility, I'm wondering about some of the justifications the proxy has given you. I wouldn't think AL (assisted living) would be appropriate, but I know that others here have dealt with this kind of issue and could suggest better than I what type of facilities would be suitable for someone with AD. I can't help thinking that there are more options and that being able to walk and not having Medicaid would not be barriers to admission.
The proxy may just have reached his/her limits of patience and care and not wish to spend further time trying to navigate "the system."
BTW, you refer to this person as the POA, and apparently this person is the caregiver. Is this a relative?
As for transferring to a new Power of Attorney, only your father can do that, and from your description it doesn't sound like he would be able to do that nor understand a legal document.
Have your Dad apply for Medicaid. Each State is different as to the rules, regulations, and programs. Hopefully he can be accepted and placed into continuing care at a facility.
If you take him into your home without POA do you feel that the current POA will continue managing dad's expenses and bills appropriately? That will still need to be done. And you will need to be compensated for your caregiving, will the POA do that? If the POA is just giving up and walking away, there may be something you can do in the courts, such as an emergency POA or emergency guardianship through the courts. You would best be served by having an elder law attorney to help you.
Angel
You say the caregiver is overwhelmed and has been stymied in their efforts to find outside help or get your dad into a facility... it sounds as though they need help from someone who can find the resources to get that done. You should be working together toward that. Could you contact an elder attny? Elder care manager? Social Worker at the preferred nursing home?
I wouldn't accept caregiving unless you have a legal agreement (sibling or not) such that you will be compensated for care expenses, time, any wages/benefits you might be giving up to assume new responsibilities, ability to make medical decisions on dad's behalf, etc. If current POA balks, know that the situation will only get worse, dad's needs will escalate and you will be left holding the bag.
I can understand why a POA after some time would decide they no longer want that responsibility; thats why it is advisable to name joint person as an either/or in the case #1 doesn't want the responsibility or can no longer carry out his duties.